Watch quickly before that kill-joy Morrissey gets wind of it and has it pulled.

When This Charming Charlie swept the Internet, we learned that Morrissey and Charles Schultz were kindred spirits laboring in different genres. Today, the work of the 80s' most cynical, weepy pop band finds itself gaining relevance in another celebrated art form: the tragic infomercial screwup.

These people can barely live in the world as it is. They can't even bring a glass of juice to their lips without losing control of all motor skills. Who better to speak for them than Morrissey? Who better to reassure them that there is another world, where strapless bras work the way they're supposed to. There is a better world, where shelves don't jump from the walls and shoes don't get stuck on your elderly wife's feet. Well, there must be.