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It's National Coffee Day, a fake holiday honoring a very real and very important natural resource. Coffee wakes us up and keeps us that way. It helps truck drivers move our consumer products from one part of the country to the other, and it gives us something to drink at AA meetings. Coffee makes us a happier populace and more efficient workforce, guaranteeing even more profits to the small cadre of mega-rich that pay us to do stuff until we die.