You named your penis or breasts after a celebrity. But what do celebrities name their bits?
I feel comfortable calling her breasts "ladies" because she gave them ladies' names.
(Image via Getty Images)
Stars: They're just like us! Not because they pick up their own coffees or pump their own gas, but because they name their penises and breasts just like the rest of us. Check it out.
1. Michael Sheen: The Great Christine Baranski
Sarah Silverman revealed that her boyfriend, Masters of Sex actor Michael Sheen, calls his penis The Great Christine Baranski. Yes, like the actress Christine Baranski.
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Thelma and Louise
First of all, does anyone call Jennifer Love Hewitt J-Lo-H? That should probably be happening. Anyway, J-Lo-H calls her breasts Thelma and Louise. Hopefully she gave them those names because they're good friends and not because they're going to try to drive off a cliff together.
3. Gary Busey: Big Wednesday
On an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, Gary Busey accidentally let his penis flop out from underneath a bathrobe while filming a commercial, then asked the woman he was acting with if she had seen "Big Wednesday."
Ludacris, I strongly suggest a more approachable penis name. Then again, your name is "Ludacris." (Image via Getty Images)
4. Ludacris: The Truth
Ludacris calls his penis The Truth because, as he told Elle, "you can't handle The Truth!" Having an unhandleable penis seems... undesirable. I'd think it'd be better to have a penis that makes people say, "Wow, I am surprised by the magnitude of your dick, but I think I can manage it."
5. Glenn Beck: Winkie
OK, Beck's isn't a nickname as much as an apparent inability to say the word "penis" out loud. While talking about Nicholas Sparks films on The Blaze, he refers to the male member as a "winkie." Facepalm.
6. A Whole Bunch of U.S. Presidents
Death and Taxes has a nice round up of presidential "members" of the cabinet, including John F. Kennedy's "JJ" and Lyndon B. Johnson's "Jumbo."
7. David Lee Roth: Little Elvis
Not only did the Van Halen singer reportedly take out insurance on his penis, he also called it "Little Elvis." Rumors are that Elvis himself called his junk "Little Elvis" as well, though, which just makes David Lee Roth seem kind of boring unless his dick is able to perform "Blue Suede Shoes."
"It's this big." (Image via Getty Images)
8. Hugh Jackman: Old James Roger
A few years back, Hugh Jackman told Leno that he calls his wang Old James Roger.
9. Chad Johnson: Russell the Love Muscle
Football player turned reality TV star Chad Johnson (formerly Chad Ochocinco) explained on Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch that he calls his li'l guy Russell the Love Muscle.
10. Michaela Strachan: Pina and Colada
When she had her breasts reconstructed after a double mastectomy, UK TV presenter Michaela Strachan named her boobs piña and colada because "they were like coconuts." Technically, though, I think one needs to be a pineapple to make a piña colada.
11. Robin Williams: Mr. Happy
I'm not sure if it counts if it's part of a stand-up set, but the wonderful Robin Williams called his penis Mr. Happy.