How about if you just stand lookout? (Via)
No matter how turned on the sound of their passionate sex-having might get you, there comes a time in every neighborly relationship when you just have to tell the people next door, "Mutually orgasm more quietly as I have work in the morning." These notes do the job with some excellent passive-aggressive sarcasm and even a few brilliant assists from modern technology. (Some images via Passive-Aggressive Notes)
Don't make idle threats. Love is stronger than malice. You will be defeated. (Via)
When you're so loud your neighbors fear you're being careless. Put up a response note asking "Why do you distrust women so?" (Via)
Starting to think these "ask me to join" folks need to be directed to Craigslist. (Via)
Looks like the community board went to the sex shop with some petty cash. (Via)
There's Banksy, and then there's "Bang-Bangsy." (Via)
Do you have any lube left? We're making sundaes! (Via)
"Agony?" How lonely are those neighbors? (Via)
The wall braces it. Otherwise the bed just moves around the room like a bumper car. (Via)
Both are very cathartic. (Via)
Here's hoping they've met by now, and they're making noises of their own. (Via)
Never too soon to learn how it sounds when a woman is being attended to correctly. (Via)
He hears you personaly [sic]. This guy is hands on! (Via)
Or at least wait until the nighttime when your shameful acts will be cloaked in darkness. (via)
Don't fall for it. They probably get off on the notes.
Going with "a woman's being beaten" over talking about sex? You have serious issues.
"Three of us in the room." That's a hint. Mary wants an invite.
You're causing ripples in the water in everybody's drinking glasses.
Your animals fear intimacy.
I wouldn't be so tired if I hadn't had to stay up all night videotaping you.
He's sorry too. But the streak is BROKEN! (Via)
So, play the awesome music really loud any time we get to boning? Done. (Via)
You're going to have to go up there and teach him. Teach him how to love a woman.
If you're going to have sex with the door open, invest in a thesaurus.
60 seconds! Impossible. No one can think about baseball for that long.
The "wow!!!" is a mistake. Make him feel impressive, he'll only want to impress you more with even louder, longer bed sessions.
Please don't let him be having sex with the mini pony.
The last "fuck" could be read as a command to fuck. Try, "The fuck?"
Not even the note-writer believes this to be true.
But maybe the ball gag is his "thing."
Sounds like guy in 3B is an "all hands on deck" kind of guy.
Nothing will make them quiet down better than to give them unsolicited couples' counseling.
Please stuff the condoms in your mouths to stifle your moans during quiet hours.
Which is louder? The answer might surprise you.
It's a scam. He works at Sleepy's.
Tomorrow, throw all the data into a Powerpoint and lets see some exclamation pie charts.
What if "Harrison in D1" just sent the CD to Guy In 3B to masturbate to? Everybody wins.
To be fair, it's hard to not get excited about a super-sexy, hot new "burgeoning friendship."
What if it's the torture that's making her come? You don't know what she's into.
Did everyone switch from video porn to audio files when we weren't looking?
It's like a delightful Bridget Jones sequel, with a super-angry twist ending.
Nothing worse than a when corporations meddle in your sex life.
Short, to the point. Probably won't work either.
(by Happy Place Staff)