6 more of the funniest notes asking neighbors to stop having sex so loud.

6 more of the funniest notes asking neighbors to stop having sex so loud.
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How about if you just stand lookout? (Via)

No matter how turned on the sound of their passionate sex-having might get you, there comes a time in every neighborly relationship when you just have to tell the people next door, "Mutually orgasm more quietly as I have work in the morning." These notes do the job with some excellent passive-aggressive sarcasm and even a few brilliant assists from modern technology. (Some images via Passive-Aggressive Notes)

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Don't make idle threats. Love is stronger than malice. You will be defeated. (Via)

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When you're so loud your neighbors fear you're being careless. Put up a response note asking "Why do you distrust women so?" (Via)

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Starting to think these "ask me to join" folks need to be directed to Craigslist. (Via)

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Looks like the community board went to the sex shop with some petty cash. (Via)

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There's Banksy, and then there's "Bang-Bangsy." (Via)

Updated 2/23/14:

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Do you have any lube left? We're making sundaes! (Via)

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"Agony?" How lonely are those neighbors? (Via)

 

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 The wall braces it. Otherwise the bed just moves around the room like a bumper car. (Via)

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Both are very cathartic. (Via)

 

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Here's hoping they've met by now, and they're making noises of their own. (Via)

 

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Never too soon to learn how it sounds when a woman is being attended to correctly. (Via)

 

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Updated 12/18/13:

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He hears you personaly [sic]. This guy is hands on! (Via)

 

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Or at least wait until the nighttime when your shameful acts will be cloaked in darkness. (via)

 

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Don't fall for it. They probably get off on the notes.

 

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Maybe building inspectors need to pay more attention to wall thickness.
(Click to enlarge)

 

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Going with "a woman's being beaten" over talking about sex? You have serious issues.

 

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"Three of us in the room." That's a hint. Mary wants an invite.
 

Updated 9/20/13:

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You're causing ripples in the water in everybody's drinking glasses.

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Your animals fear intimacy.

 

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I wouldn't be so tired if I hadn't had to stay up all night videotaping you.

 

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He's sorry too. But the streak is BROKEN!
(Via)

 

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So, play the awesome music really loud any time we get to boning? Done. 
(Via)

 

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You're going to have to go up there and teach him. Teach him how to love a woman.

 

Updated 7/29/13:

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If you're going to have sex with the door open, invest in a thesaurus.

 

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60 seconds! Impossible. No one can think about baseball for that long.

 

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The "wow!!!" is a mistake. Make him feel impressive, he'll only want to impress you more with even louder, longer bed sessions.

 

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Please don't let him be having sex with the mini pony.

 

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The last "fuck" could be read as a command to fuck. Try, "The fuck?"

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Not even the note-writer believes this to be true.

 

Posted 4/26/13:

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But maybe the ball gag is his "thing."

 

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Sounds like guy in 3B is an "all hands on deck" kind of guy.

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Nothing will make them quiet down better than to give them unsolicited couples' counseling.

 

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Please stuff the condoms in your mouths to stifle your moans during quiet hours.

 

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Which is louder? The answer might surprise you.

 

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It's a scam. He works at Sleepy's.

 

 

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Tomorrow, throw all the data into a Powerpoint and lets see some exclamation pie charts.

 

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What if "Harrison in D1" just sent the CD to Guy In 3B to masturbate to? Everybody wins.

 

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To be fair, it's hard to not get excited about a super-sexy, hot new "burgeoning friendship."

 

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What if it's the torture that's making her come? You don't know what she's into.

 

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Did everyone switch from video porn to audio files when we weren't looking?

 

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It's like a delightful Bridget Jones sequel, with a super-angry twist ending.

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Nothing worse than a when corporations meddle in your sex life.

 

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Short, to the point. Probably won't work either.

(by Happy Place Staff)

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