Turns out God really does care about football outcomes.
What makes you special? Is it that you are a supreme being, the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority? No?
Then you ain't got shit on this kid. If you thought the Millennials were an entitled bunch, beware the newest generation: the Messianics. They've been told they can be whatever they want when they grow up if they believe in themselves, but this kid wants us to believe in him, too.
This is redditor SALON_QUALITY_HAIR's 5-year-old nephew, and he is god. He kinda buried the lead here in his homework assignment, but this is the official proclamation of our new lord and savior. It's not as hard to remember as tablets of commandments, but rather just three short declarative statements, and they are gospel.
1) Thou shalt not talk during the kick-off.
2) Though shalt build and keep a shrine of Legos.
3) There is only one true god, and he needs a dotted line to measure his handwriting accurately.
Some people say he misspelled "good," and I call those people "blasphemers."
In his name we play, amen.
(by Myka Fox)