The catch-22 of insecurities is that the more you try to cover them up, the more glaringly obvious they become.
Ironically, one of the most confident thing a person can do is be vulnerable enough to admit their areas of insecurity, rather than overcompensating.
Everyone, no matter how 'together' they may seem from the outside, has triggers that make them feel small or unsure. It's just that some express them in more overt or self-destructive ways.
When you achieve something or improve your life in any way, and their first instinct is to tease or make fun of you, it actually screams instant jealousy.
Always having something negative to say when something good happens to someone else. For example “oh you’re going to hate that new job” or “they should have done x instead”. Just be happy that someone else is happy!!
When they found a point that makes them look better than the other person and continue to overstate that point.
The situation is subjective, and I’m talking about the situation whereby the person punches down on someone to make themselves feel good. I did not mean for a person who requires positive affirmations.
Mocking other people's insecurity. It's usually projection.
Never apologizing. Some people will twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense but will never apologize.
Constantly talking s**t on other people for an inflated sense of self-worth.
Taking a situation that was never about you or had you involved in it and somehow making it all about yourself and playing victim(even though you had meddle in it and make yourself the' victim').
Explaining how smart you are.
Insulting your friend in front of others to be cool.
When they can give you shit all day but can’t take it back whatsoever.
In terms of leadership, it's when someone can't (or won't) take input from the rest of their team and tries to act like they have all the answers.
I was this type of insecure leader once and I thought that if I used the idea of someone with less experience then everyone would think I was a weak leader.
But after I was removed from that position I had to work for a lot of managers who did a lot of the same stupid shit that I was doing but magnified due to years of insecurity/habit/karma.
I have since learned that if I hear people out, discuss a course of action, go with other people's ideas, and especially give them credit you gain exponentially more influence and respect.
That even people who have little experience should have their input considered. I feel horrible for the people who had to work with me, but now I don't just act like a more capable leader, I am a more capable leader.
Shakespearean TL;DR 'Take every man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.'
Those handshakes that are firm to the point you wonder if they're actually trying to hurt you.
My friend (in his 40s) has to tell me who he slept with and show me pictures of them, every time we meet up. I feel like I should start taking pictures of the beers I drink when I'm not with him so I can show him when we catch up.
Being loud and domineering in every conversation.
On the flip side, being open about your insecurities and really trying to overcome them is a great character trait.
I see a lot of comments here branding common insecurities as red flags, and I don’t think one should consider insecurities inherently evil. Being insecure doesn’t make you a bad person.
It’s how you let your struggles control you that defines whether they are problematic or not.