We've all made fools of ourselves in front of someone we found attractive.
Whether you're 12 years old or 80, the fresh sting of humiliation can hit you in a moment of failed peacocking.
Luckily, none of us are alone in our embarrassing fails, virtually everyone has at least one cringe moment where they tried and failed to win over the affection of a pretty person.
Freshman year of college, we got placed in 'inbound' orientation groups to do team-building adventure activities, ostensibly so we would have some friends on the first day of school.
Most of the activities were normal- bike trips, some hiking, kayaking, etc. On the last day, we kayaked out to this island on the lake to go cliff-jumping. Now, I'm terrified of water, but there was this super hot guy in my group, Kevin, who had taken a liking to me.
I was only going off the ten-foot cliff, while Kevin and the other two boys went off the forty-footer. Kevin challenged me to be the only girl in the group to do the forty-foot cliff, and I...did it. And landed wrong.
And broke my tailbone hitting the water. And had to kayak home.
TL;DR: Broke my tailbone trying to impress a guy.
I put a $5 bill in her locker with to a note with a secret AIM screen name (tornado3021 or something like that) on a post-it. This was in 7th grade.
I talked to her for a few months online almost every single night and refused to tell her who I was, even though she continually asked. I finally told her at high school graduation, the last time I saw her, that I was 'tornado.'
She didn't say a word. It remains one of the most awkward things I've done.
5th grade, 11 years old, I was madly infatuated with a cute Irish girl at my school. One day, on a rainy day on a playground, we were playing around this jungle gym-like structure.
I decided to try to impress her by running up a steep, slippery, metal slide up to her. As I dashed up said slide, she was looking down at me with a smile. With the amount of rainwater on the slide, I quickly slipped halfway through and slammed my face.
I immediately picked my head up, felt a sensation in my mouth, and said to myself 'what the heck are these salty pebbles in my mouth?' I then proceeded to spit out my shattered two front teeth all over the slide I was then lying on.
I immediately panicked, ran to the duty, and said 'I need to go to the nurse's office RIGHT NOW.' right when what was left of one of my two broken teeth popped out and landed on the concrete in front of her.
I don't remember too much after that; just a lot of crying from me and my mother breaking down in the emergency dentist's office because of how sorry she felt for me.
I couldn't eat solid food for days, had to wear metal for the rest of the year, and after years of trying to save the teeth with injections and procedures, getting a root canal and a bridge to replace what was left of them.
13 years later, I still have nightmares about my teeth breaking and falling out on a weekly basis. Worst part of the story: that girl moved during the week I was recovering, and I never saw her again.
TL;DR: I tried to impress a girl in 5th grade, shattered my two front teeth doing so, and never saw her again.
I knew a guy who went to a bowling party with a girl he had his eye on.
Realized he could stick his thumb in a bowling ball and hold it using just his thumb. Thinking this would impress the girl, he held it over her head and said 'Look!'. Girl looks up, ball falls, breaks girls nose, blood everywhere.
I took up smoking, because she did. Only stopped 12 years later after a heart attack.
One day in 2nd grade it was raining outside so we were forced to have an inside recess. There were a couple of girls that I had a crush on. Since I figured that being smart would be attractive to them, I of course had to show them how smart I was.
My 7-year-old brain immediately thought that the best way to show this was to read a book really, really fast.
I chose 'The Green Kangaroo' and went up to them and said something like 'Watch how fast I can read this book' and then silently read the entire book as fast as I could. After I finished, I looked up and they both giggled and walked away.
I burned her a mix CD of love songs. Her friend asked me if I liked her, and I panicked. Trying to play it cool, I was like 'nahh, that's just the music I like to listen to.' She ended up dating my friend instead. Also, to this day she thinks I'm closeted.
I went off a suggestion from a good friend of mine for this one. There was a pretty girl who usually had lunch at my dorm's cafeteria around the same time I did. So one day, before I went to lunch, I stashed a pineapple in my backpack.
I ate my lunch as usual. She came in as usual. When I was done eating, I took the pineapple out, walked up to her table, and asked her, 'Do you need a pineapple?'
When she started to produce a confused rendition of the word 'No', I cut her off and said, 'Everyone needs a pineapple.' I planted the pineapple on the table in front of her and confidently walked away. We never spoke again.
When I was a teenager I decided I was going to impress a girl who was a huge fan of the WWE (then WWF) at the time.
I grabbed a metal folding chair and proceeded to hit myself in the face with it multiple times while flopping on my back as if I were Mankind in an actual 'Hell in a Cell' match. At first she was quite amused, but soon her face turned to sheer terror.
The massive beating I decided to give myself had caused my head to split wide open, which allowed for quite a show all in itself. I went straight to the hospital and received over a dozen stitches all in the name of young love.
That was the day I learned that professional wrestlers use a different type of folding chair when 'performing' in the ring. The more you know...
TL;DR: Repeatedly bashed myself in the face with a metal folding chair until my head split open.
I was in the gym on the treadmill a while ago, and the only other person in there was this hot chick doing yoga or something on the floor mats.
For some reason, I got it into my head that I could impress her by doing a cool move to get off the treadmill when I was finished. Like, plant my feet on the treadmill belt and just kind of slide off the back.
However, I didn't slow it down enough first, so when I planted my feet, my legs shot out from under me, I body slammed myself onto the treadmill belt, and was ejected gracelessly off the back.
I picked myself up as quickly as I could, but there was really no way to play that off like I had intended it. She didn't say anything, but her derision was palpable from across the room. I left quietly :(
There was a girl that I liked in summer school back in grade school. I talked to her older brother and borrowed the game keymaker, and got his number just in case something happened.
Later on, I called their house and when she picked up I said 'I LIKE YOU' and hung up.
I became editor-in-chief of the high school newspaper and made her my managing editor.
Within 4 weeks she staged a coup to replace me.
God, that was hot.
I got a 'tattoo' with pen ink and a guitar string when I was 15 to show a guy that I was the 'badass goth girl.'
In high school, I had a crush on this girl for like two years. We both wound up in the musical together and I was cripplingly awkward in person. Now, the director emails all of us the same letters, weekly, so I- oh god I can barely type this.
I found her email address, and I was gonna send her an email, but realized that looked creepy. Instead, I did something 20x creepier. I created a fake email account of a bisexual girl, and sent her emails that implied she had a thing for both of us.
THEN, I started talking to her in person, and asked her if she's been getting any strange messages. She said yeah, and we started talking about it, and out of her pure unadulterated fear of this psycho stalker, she latched onto me like a...friend.
Just friends. That didn't go at all according to plan, but could've been worse. Then, I realized I had to make a wildcard move if I wanted anything to happen. So, I told her EVERYTHING. And yet, she wasn't the least bit weirded out.
And we've been best friends for four years now, and dating for almost half of it.
Edit 1: Link for proof
TL;DR I'm f*cking creepy and my now-girlfriend loves it.
In year 9 (~13) the girl I liked lived near my grandma's house. One day I decided to drive past the girl's house on my gran's mobility scooter, giving her a nonchalant wave when I saw her in the window.
Looking back now, I have absolutely no idea why I thought that would be in any way alluring.