Even the most chemistry-laden, warm, and 'easy' relationships require a lot of work.
Sustained intimacy, both physical and emotional, requires a lot of communication, mutual understanding, and grace for imperfections.
In the beginning honeymoon stages, the idea of needing to 'work' on the relationship might feel like an impossibility. This person is so magnetic and one-of-a-kind, how could the flames ever dwindle?
Ironically, carrying on a relationship assuming it'll sustain itself vs. actively working on it, is more of a recipe for failure than being intentional (even if it feels less romantic).
Sometimes, learning the signs of a struggling relationship is a great way to prevent complete deterioration.
In a popular Ask Reddit thread, people shared the early signs a relationship is 'over' and it's an interesting look at relationship dynamics.
1. From dabbiedabbiedoo:
I think when you just don't care anymore. You don't care to fight with them. You don't care to be intimate. You don't care to make an effort.
2. From SnooBunnies9221:
When you think twice before sharing something that makes you happy or sad with them.
3. From Tesashev:
When you realize you've gone through the same cycle with them over and over, and talked about it every time, and they acknowledge it and promise to make changes but never do.
4. From ResponsibleCourse693:
When you get anxiety as soon as they get home.
5. From BaileyHeart:
When you start contemplating if the relationship is worth it and find yourself more annoyed by your partner's presence than enjoying it.
6. From corobo:
Asking friends if they think you should break up. At least for me this means you've made the decision you just want it backed up by someone.
7. From truthinlies:
You realize there's a problem, and you're unwilling to work towards a solution.
8. From the_ricktacular_mort:
I remember seeing an article about a study that found contempt to be the best indicator. So they recorded a bunch of couples having a conversation and then a few years later checked back in to see who was still together and who had split.
They then looked over the recordings in search of trends. They found contempt (rolling of eyes, putting down the other person's interests or perspectives, etc.) to be the number one factor.
9. From what-why-:
Laying awake with a nauseated feeling about how you can break it off. Literally feeling sick from constantly thinking about ending it because you know you need to, but just can’t for various reasons.
10. From Greenfloatie:
If they go through your phone, sit in silence when you cry, stop asking about how you're feeling, stop telling you when something bothers them. These ones seem obvious, but at the time I really didn't see the downhill spiral we were in.
Trust your gut
11. From remotetissuepaper:
You'd rather work late than go home to them.
12. From GoodRighter:
The loss of trust is easy to pick up on. If they can't trust you for the little stuff, they won't for the big stuff.
13. From PrankishCoin71:
When answers become consistently shorter. For any relationship friend, family, etc. you can tell a lot by how they answer things. Unless they always answer simple questions in short and concise ways (like I tend to do).
14. From sl*ttycat666:
When you have to make a pros and cons list of the person you're with.
15. From rjlupin1031:
When you find more enjoyment hanging out with friends and feel like yourself around your friends versus the person you are dating. When you get irritated by the small things they do that you realize you once enjoyed.
When you start picking up new hobbies outside of the house to have more of an excuse to stay away from your partner. And the biggest one...when you start having feelings for someone other than your partner.
You have tried making the relationship work but you're just tired of fighting for something they clearly do not value. Once you find those new feelings in someone else, you realize how long you haven't been emotionally in your relationship and want to feel a connection again.
This is the biggest sign that it's time to end the relationship. (Yo, I know the last one is a late sign but sometimes you don't realize the early signs until the big one is right in front of you.)