15 people share 'normal' things from childhood they later realized were f**ked up.

Hindsight is 20/20, and sometimes the view isn't pretty.

In order to cope with the massive project of being a conscious human being, our brains normalize a lot of wild circumstances. This applies exponentially when you're a child with a pliant and moldable brain, taking cues from the adults in your environment.

Many of us have things we thought were 'normal' as kids, that we later found out were massively strange or f**ked up. These things can be supremely weird to notice or unpack as an adult.

In a popular Ask Reddit thread, people shared the things they thought were 'normal' as a kid that they later realized were f**ked up.

1. From MysticalMagicalMilk:

My father was nice and friendly out in public but was an absolute a**hole to the family at home.

Me witnessing my dad being really friendly to everyone in public and then being an absolute raging a**hole at home made me just think 'well I guess everyone is just two-faced and using each other.'

'All those movies about love are just lies and fantasies, if you're not using someone then what use are they to you? Obviously, he doesn't get to use us at home so we aren't useful so we don't get treated well.'

Btw, no he wasn't an alcoholic. He wouldn't even allow alcohol in the house because so many people in our family were alcoholics.

Edit: I'm glad that this post could help a few people come to terms with issues from their childhood and help them realize things about their past. I'm also incredibly sorry that this had to be what we all bonded over in this post. 😭

2. From nasandre:

During the divorce, they would try to get information about each other and say the other one was bad for me.

3. From nasandre:

Being bullied and threatened with violence by your father and having your mother make excuses or outright blaming you for it.

'Well, you know how he is.' And 'Well you shouldn't have stood up for yourself.'

It destroyed my self-esteem and confidence growing up, it has taken years to rebuild myself. One good thing that has come from this, I don't yell at people or threaten people if they make me angry.

In the best situation, I am able to resolve conflict in a civil and respectful manner. Worst case I remove myself from the situation and go for a walk to clear my head so I can later reapproach the conflict with a cool head.

Edit: I didn't expect this to resonate with so many people. I appreciate all the love and support, I'd like you all to know that I'm doing much better these days since I haven't lived at home in ages.

I still have issues and bad days because of my past, but I found salvation with my wife, daughter and boxing club. For those of you that went through it/are going through it, keep moving forward, you're not alone.

4. From BUFUByUsF*ckYou:

My mom's boyfriend would pick me up by my hair sometimes. It didn't hurt a shit ton so I never complained, which in turn made him keep doing it. My hair was always in a ponytail so it was easy to grab and do.

I told a coworker about it and laughed because it wasn't a terrible memory. But he didn't laugh like I did. It was more of a nervous laugh then he says 'That's actually pretty f**ked up.'

Then I started to think about all the stuff I actually do remember from my childhood and realized how sh**ty it really was. I have two kids and it was never a thought to ever pick them up by their hair.

5. From BassEvers:

I live in England and my uncle's neighbour had a pet monkey living in a big enclosure in his garden. This was in the early 2000s. I assumed this was totally normal. No idea how he got it. We still know those neighbours and it's just never discussed.

6. From strange_invitation:

That my dad would bring his beer with him in the car. Or that being pulled over happened pretty often when I was with my dad in the car (he always had a failure to appear warrant out for some stupid traffic ticket).

He was one of those functional alcoholics who you never saw drunk. My parents love me, and genuinely did their best, but they're not the sort of people known for making good decisions.

7. From CagedKage:

Thought it was normal to constantly apologize over even the slightest little f*ck-up so I don't get screamed at. I still have this problem today.

8. From wbdunham:

My parents wouldn’t let me say “pee” or “poop” so I was walking around as a three year old saying things like “I have to have a bowel movement”

9. From urinaImint:

Mom used to tell me to cough extra hard at the doctor's office so she could get the good cough syrup.

10. From Bloooberryy:

Never being allowed to just chill. My mother was a neat freak and always wanted us to be doing chores. I have memories of wiping walls and baseboards when I was 5. We literally couldn’t sit around her because she would get irritated.

Now as an adult, I don’t really know how to spend my free time. I clean my apartment and take care of my needs. I only really chill on my phone when I’m on the bus or on my break at work.

I don’t watch tv or work on hobbies unless I have someone else doing it with me because I always feel a weird guilt after. As a child this was normal but as an adult, I now realize that it’s such a strange way to live.

11. From AccioNimbus:

I had been campaigning for a raise in my allowance for a long time. Finally, my mom caved and said she was giving me a boost from $5 /week to $20 / month. I was pretty proud of myself. Took me longer than I’d like to admit that mom worked me over pretty good.

12. From jack8647:

Having to beg your teacher to let you go to the bathroom- as a 16 year old.

13. From Wholesome_Kittycat:

Being in elementary school and waking myself up for school, making all my own food, and walking myself 1-2 blocks to the bus stop while my mom slept. Making almost all meals for myself.

I lived off of mushroom soup for lunch because that's all I could figure out how to cook.

14. From Maldibus:

In junior high, our gym coach mandated that all boys would wear an athletic supporter for gym class. He was very strict about this.

For three years before every gym class we would all line up and he would have us walk up to him, he would say 'Check' and we'd pull open our shorts so he could verify we were wearing our supporter.

Usually, he'd see that we were wearing the jock strap, and sometimes it was either whitey-tighties, or commando.

To this day I still don't believe he had any ill intent, I just figure he had taken some kind of testicle injury when he was a boy and wanted to spare us the same injury.
In retrospect, it seems pretty f**ked up though.

15. From nickygirl19:

Mom did not cook. If she had a choice the kitchen would be an additional closet. She grew up in another country with a driver, maid, and cook. She never really learned nor had any real need for food. She lived on coffee and cigarettes.

Growing up I thought a grilled cheese was two pieces of white bread with a slice of Kraft American cheese thrown in a microwave for a minute. I didn't know any better until I went to a friends and their mom made a real grilled cheese. I was so confused.