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<h2>Marriage is about a lot more than a floral arch and an expensive dance party with an open bar...</h2><p>So, when a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rhnhyj/married_redditors_what_usual_mistakes_do_you_see/">Reddit</a> user asked married people of the internet, &quot;what usual mistakes do you see younger couples making?&quot; people who have been with their partners for many years were ready to reveal the biggest red flags they notice from inexperienced couples.</p><h2>1.</h2><blockquote> <p>Not knowing how to responsibly handle money is the first thing that comes to mind - alicialimonado</p> </blockquote><h2>2.</h2><blockquote> <p>Being right is less important than the fact that you love each other.<br /> Someday, one of us is going to have to say goodbye to the other. When that happens, every single moment I wasted being angry about minor things will be a huge regret. This is the sort of thing that doesn&#39;t really occur to you when you&#39;re young and indestructible. - vilnyi_vid_liudei</p> </blockquote><h2>3.</h2><blockquote> <p>Don&#39;t hint. Not worth it. &quot;Wow, those flowers are beautiful&quot; is not a call to action. &quot;I&#39;d really love it if sometimes you picked me up flowers for no reason. It makes me feel super loved.&quot; Is so much better and clearer. - paintwhore</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><blockquote> <p>Confusing a wedding with a marriage. You don&#39;t get a better marriage with a bigger wedding, so don&#39;t focus so much on what&#39;s the perfect song to play before the bride and groom are introduced at the reception. Concentrate on whether you both share the same goals and values.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Thinking the other person is going to &quot;change&quot; for the better once they get married is the biggest mistake. It&#39;s like thinking the chicken salad that smells funny when you take it out of the refrigerator is going to taste better after you&#39;ve eaten the sandwich. - galarconv</p> </blockquote><h2>5.</h2><blockquote> <p>Assuming the person you&rsquo;re with at 25 will be the same person at 45. You gotta be able to roll with the changes. - bellavita65</p> </blockquote><h2>6.</h2><blockquote> <p>Don&#39;t expect your partner to be everything you need in life. You each need your own friends, goals, and experiences... and don&#39;t give those up for your partner. Resentment grows strong over time. - GenXChefVeg</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7.</h2><blockquote> <p>Trying to change the other person is the number one mistake I see.<br /> I can understand though. It&#39;s hard to see potential go to waste, but ultimately, the odds are against anyone changing in the way you&#39;d want them to. - opieosanta</p> </blockquote><h2>8.</h2><blockquote> <p>Dumping hobbies. There&#39;s no need to do everything together. If one of you dies or you break up then the other will be lost. - Ieatclowns</p> </blockquote><h2>9.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Don&#39;t go to bed angry&quot;</p> <p>Absolutely go to bed angry. Being tired can amplify whatever issue caused the anger in the first place. It&#39;s similar to taking a step back for time to think. - Sunsparc</p> </blockquote><h2>10.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;ve said it before and I&rsquo;ll say it again: Never talk crap about your spouse to other people. I don&rsquo;t care who it is: best friend, parent, sibling. That is between you and your partner. Once you open that door, it&rsquo;s incredibly hard to close it again. - themucken</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><blockquote> <p>The common mistake I see young people making is thinking they&#39;re marrying the best of their partner when they&#39;re actually marrying the worst. Then when reality dawns on them, they can&#39;t take it and the relationship fails. Before making that commitment, make an effort to see your partner at their worst- stressed, angry, ugly, tired, lying, drunk, stoned, selfish, whatever.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>THAT&#39;S THE PERSON YOU&#39;LL BE LIVING WITH. If you can take it and love them regardless, then you can make that commitment, and when things get bad, you can say to yourself &quot;I knew exactly who I was marrying.&quot; - marcuscolina</p> </blockquote><h2>12.</h2><blockquote> <p>I could talk for hours on this, but here&#39;s my biggest peeve: Not talking before having kids. And I mean <em>talking</em>. Ask questions like &quot;are we prepared to have a child with mental issues?&quot; &quot;Are we prepared to have a child that requires 24/7 care for 20+ years?&quot; &quot;What is our specific plans to make our relationship with each other a priority?&quot; &quot;What do our financials look like before having kids.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>So many questions should he asked, answered, and planned for before having a child. And too many rush into having kids without giving any of that a single thought. You&#39;ll often hear some people say &quot;having kids ruins marriages&quot; and this is what they mean. It&#39;s not the kid&#39;s fault, it&#39;s that their parents didn&#39;t devote enough time to really figuring out this stuff beforehand. - LambBrainz</p> </blockquote><h2>13.</h2><blockquote> <p>You&rsquo;re not just marrying your partner, you&rsquo;re also marrying each other&rsquo;s families. Maintaining a marriage is hard enough on its own, but is orders of magnitude harder when contentious relationships with family are involved. - TheSpatulaOfLove</p> </blockquote><h2>14.</h2><blockquote> <p>Despite a slew of red signals, falling in love only because you&#39;re lonely and suddenly have someone. I&#39;ve done it before; those honeymoon period goggles can deceive you into believing you&#39;ve discovered &quot;the one,&quot; when you were really looking for &quot;someone&quot; at the time. - WasternCandid</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15.</h2><blockquote> <p>Failing to nurture friendships outside of the marriage. - Buffsicle</p> </blockquote><h2>16.</h2><blockquote> <p>Never threaten to &#39;split up&#39; as a means of achieving your goals. Don&#39;t even make light of it. If you&#39;re willing to lose the other person, only bring up the idea. It&#39;s a pain to get back in once that possibility has been exposed. - LogicalPrinciple6</p> </blockquote><h2>17.</h2><blockquote> <p>Get in the habit of apologizing when you are wrong. Even if it&lsquo;s been hours or days since the argument. Sometimes we are so sure of ourselves in the moment and clarity comes way too late. You might be tempted to say, &quot;oh whatever, the fight is over anyway,&quot; but I&lsquo;ve found it helpful to let my partner know when I realized I was wrong even if that realization comes late.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Normalizing apologizing to one another also makes it easier to do so in instances where things are still heated. Just because you started an argument thinking doesn&lsquo;t mean you need to pursue it until the bitter end. If you realize your partner kinda has a point midway through your fight, it&lsquo;s ok to say, &quot;you know what, actually you&lsquo;re right and I&lsquo;m being stupid&ldquo;. - katiebie</p> <h2>18.</h2> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Different things work for different couples, but I think one of the biggest mistakes younger couples make is not communicating effectively. They might avoid discussing difficult topics or they might not be willing to compromise. Effective communication is key to a successful relationship! - Edge_Margins</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

18 married people share the biggest mistake they see young couples make.

Marriage is about a lot more than a floral arch and an expensive dance party with an open bar...So, when a Reddit user asked married people of the internet, &quot;what usual mistakes do you see younger couples making?&quot; people who have been with their partners for many years were ready to reveal the biggest red flags they notice from inexperienced couples.1. Not knowing how to responsibly handle money is the first thing that comes to mind - alicialimonado 2. Being right is less important than the fact that you love each other. Someday, one of us is going to have to say goodbye to the other. When that happens, every single moment I wasted being angry about minor things will be a huge regret. This is the sort of thing that doesn&#39;t really occur to you when you&#39;re young and indestructible. - vilnyi_vid_liudei 3. Don&#39;t hint. Not worth it. &quot;Wow, those flowers are beautiful&quot; is not a call to action. &quot;I&#39;d really love it if sometimes you picked me up flowers for no reason. It makes me feel super loved.&quot; Is so much better and clearer. - paintwhore 4. Confusing a wedding with a marriage. You don&#39;t get a better marriage with a bigger wedding, so don&#39;t focus so much on what&#39;s the perfect song to play before the bride and groom are introduced at the reception. Concentrate on whether you both share the same goals and values.  Thinking the other person is going to &quot;change&quot; for the better once they get married is the biggest mistake. It&#39;s like thinking the chicken salad that smells funny when you take it out of the refrigerator is going to taste better after you&#39;ve eaten the sandwich. - galarconv 5. Assuming the person you&rsquo;re with at 25 will be the same person at 45. You gotta be able to roll with the changes. - bellavita65 6. Don&#39;t expect your partner to be everything you need in life. You each need your own friends, goals, and experiences... and don&#39;t give those up for your partner. Resentment grows strong over time. - GenXChefVeg 7. Trying to change the other person is the number one mistake I see. I can understand though. It&#39;s hard to see potential go to waste, but ultimately, the odds are against anyone changing in the way you&#39;d want them to. - opieosanta 8. Dumping hobbies. There&#39;s no need to do everything together. If one of you dies or you break up then the other will be lost. - Ieatclowns 9. &quot;Don&#39;t go to bed angry&quot; Absolutely go to bed angry. Being tired can amplify whatever issue caused the anger in the first place. It&#39;s similar to taking a step back for time to think. - Sunsparc 10. I&rsquo;ve said it before and I&rsquo;ll say it again: Never talk crap about your spouse to other people. I don&rsquo;t care who it is: best friend, parent, sibling. That is between you and your partner. Once you open that door, it&rsquo;s incredibly hard to close it again. - themucken 11. The common mistake I see young people making is thinking they&#39;re marrying the best of their partner when they&#39;re actually marrying the worst. Then when reality dawns on them, they can&#39;t take it and the relationship fails. Before making that commitment, make an effort to see your partner at their worst- stressed, angry, ugly, tired, lying, drunk, stoned, selfish, whatever.  THAT&#39;S THE PERSON YOU&#39;LL BE LIVING WITH. If you can take it and love them regardless, then you can make that commitment, and when things get bad, you can say to yourself &quot;I knew exactly who I was marrying.&quot; - marcuscolina 12. I could talk for hours on this, but here&#39;s my biggest peeve: Not talking before having kids. And I mean talking. Ask questions like &quot;are we prepared to have a child with mental issues?&quot; &quot;Are we prepared to have a child that requires 24/7 care for 20+ years?&quot; &quot;What is our specific plans to make our relationship with each other a priority?&quot; &quot;What do our financials look like before having kids.&quot;  So many questions should he asked, answered, and planned for before having a child. And too many rush into having kids without giving any of that a single thought. You&#39;ll often hear some people say &quot;having kids ruins marriages&quot; and this is what they mean. It&#39;s not the kid&#39;s fault, it&#39;s that their parents didn&#39;t devote enough time to really figuring out this stuff beforehand. - LambBrainz 13. You&rsquo;re not just marrying your partner, you&rsquo;re also marrying each other&rsquo;s families. Maintaining a marriage is hard enough on its own, but is orders of magnitude harder when contentious relationships with family are involved. - TheSpatulaOfLove 14. Despite a slew of red signals, falling in love only because you&#39;re lonely and suddenly have someone. I&#39;ve done it before; those honeymoon period goggles can deceive you into believing you&#39;ve discovered &quot;the one,&quot; when you were really looking for &quot;someone&quot; at the time. - WasternCandid 15. Failing to nurture friendships outside of the marriage. - Buffsicle 16. Never threaten to &#39;split up&#39; as a means of achieving your goals. Don&#39;t even make light of it. If you&#39;re willing to lose the other person, only bring up the idea. It&#39;s a pain to get back in once that possibility has been exposed. - LogicalPrinciple6 17. Get in the habit of apologizing when you are wrong. Even if it&lsquo;s been hours or days since the argument. Sometimes we are so sure of ourselves in the moment and clarity comes way too late. You might be tempted to say, &quot;oh whatever, the fight is over anyway,&quot; but I&lsquo;ve found it helpful to let my partner know when I realized I was wrong even if that realization comes late.  Normalizing apologizing to one another also makes it easier to do so in instances where things are still heated. Just because you started an argument thinking doesn&lsquo;t mean you need to pursue it until the bitter end. If you realize your partner kinda has a point midway through your fight, it&lsquo;s ok to say, &quot;you know what, actually you&lsquo;re right and I&lsquo;m being stupid&ldquo;. - katiebie 18.  Different things work for different couples, but I think one of the biggest mistakes younger couples make is not communicating effectively. They might avoid discussing difficult topics or they might not be willing to compromise. Effective communication is key to a successful relationship! - Edge_Margins 

Marriage is about a lot more than a floral arch and an expensive dance party with an open bar...  So, when a Reddit user asked married people of the internet, &quot;what usual mistakes do you see younger couples making?&quot; people who...