20 funny tweets about the struggles of parenting

Jan 10, 2023 | 4:59 PM

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Being a parent is not for the faint of heart, and it's certainly not for the humorless.

If you feel like ripping off your skin and screaming from exhaustion, then a laugh might help give you that release without all the noise complaints.

Luckily, for every domestic parenting disaster, there's a corresponding online joke to help you feel less alone in the trenches.

So if you need a boost, or to remember you're not alone with your crayon-tinged walls, look no further.

1.

Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, “mommy, my fart is on the floor,” takes the cake. 😳😂
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 7, 2019

2.

Raising the dead is easier than raising kids.
— Schmuck Ado About Nothing (@SchmuckOnAHorse) January 4, 2023

3.

8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?

Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.

8: It's Mom.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2023

4.

My husband’s version of helping out with the kids is yelling “COME ON, GUYS!” from the couch.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 3, 2023

5.

Parenting is getting yelled at by a smaller version of your spouse.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) November 27, 2022

6.

My 7yo says “trust me” a lot for someone who lies about wearing underwear
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 21, 2022

7.

0.154268 seconds. That’s how long my preschooler spends lying on their pillow before proclaiming “it’s too hard to sleep!”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) December 30, 2022

8.

I was a terrible mother and told my kids I hate them today. Well what I really said was, please pick your towels up off the floor but apparently it’s the same thing
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 28, 2022

9.

“This is not what I meant by sharing” I yell at my kids after catching the fifth cold of the school year
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 5, 2022

10.

My kid: *refuses chicken nuggets and French fries*

Also my kid: *hides behind the couch to eat lotion and diaper cream*
— LaughCryCoffee (@laughcrycoffee) January 3, 2023

11.

I was driving with my son when he asked me about the meaning of a bumper sticker that said, "If you're gonna ride my ass at least pull my hair" and WTF?! Why wasn't he looking at his phone like a normal teen?!
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) November 2, 2022

12.

Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 1, 2023

13.

Don’t wanna brag but today’s only the second day of winter break and my kids are already “so bored” and have “nothing to eat around here” so we’re way ahead of the game.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) December 27, 2022

14.

Parenting little kids is mostly screaming "What the fuck!" in your head, but really saying things like "No thank you, I do not want to hold your booger."
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) October 7, 2022

15.

Being a toddler must be wild. Imagine thinking your own mother is trying to poison you when they give you a homemade vegetable quesadilla then going and eating the dirt out of a potted plant instead.
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) October 20, 2022

16.

A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming “WHAT’S THAT” and a driving parent yelling “I CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE POINTING AT” repeat until everyone is crying
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 2, 2023

17.

My 4 year old came downstairs and asked me what his stuffed bunny did for a living. Over the next few minutes I guessed farmer, fireman, astronaut and race car driver until my son deadpanned, "he doesn't have a job because he's not real," while glaring at me like I'm an idiot.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 27, 2020

18.

Freya’s mum brought her over to our house to give my twins a Christmas gift. Before she drove off she rolled down her window, looked me dead in the eye and said “have fun”. It’s clear. Freya’s mum is the evil mastermind pic.twitter.com/mplp28co3h
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) December 27, 2022

19.

Overheard my 11 y/o daughter record her voicemail greeting: “Hi, you’ve reached my voicemail. When you hear the beep, hang up and send me a text.” This generation gets it.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) December 6, 2022

20.

[Me before having kids]
ME: I hope my child is absolutely brilliant and goes to Harvard!

[Me after having kids]
ME: I hope my child is exactly smart enough to go to a cheap state school but still smart enough to figure out how to work the meal plan for free food.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 4, 2023

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