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<p>Here&#39;s the thing: kids are dumb as hell. Yes, &quot;their brains are still developing.&quot; Sure, calling a child with a developing brain &quot;dumb&quot; is reductive and harmful, but we&#39;ve all thought it at some points. Hanging out with children is like hanging out with Norm from <em>Cheers </em>during last call, except with a lot less complaining about his wife. Which is to say, children are basically cuter drunk people, with less war stories and a lot more stupid questions.</p><p>While it&#39;s only natural for children to say or do absurd things as they discover how the world works, there are some stories that truly outdo the rest.</p><h2>In <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ebgzwh/parents_of_reddit_what_is_your_best_why_is_my_kid/" target="_blank">a recent Reddit thread</a>, parents shared the stupidest things their kids have done, and from the sounds of it, these kids will never live down these stories.</h2><p> </p><h2>1. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ZooBitch/">ZooBitch</a> doesn&#39;t eat their kid&#39;s ramen for a reason.</h2><blockquote> <p>My son has microwaved ramen noodles with no water A FEW TIMES. Just so you know, they are flammable and smoke horribly and turn your microwave an awful yellow color.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GFY_EH/">GFY_EH</a> hopes their son is okay.</h2><blockquote> <p>Me waking into the bathroom to check on my 4 year old son having a bath:</p> <p>&quot;Why are you smashing your penis with that (toy) hammer?&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>3. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Purdygreen/">Purdygreen</a>&#39;s son tries to blame invisible siblings.</h2><blockquote> <p>My son, who was 8 at the time, and an only child, carved his very long name into the toliet seat. Then claimed he didn&#39;t do it. Lol.</p> </blockquote><h2>4. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Pm_me_what/">Pm_me_what</a>&#39;s child is adventurous with their mouth.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m amazed at how many times I&#39;ve had to say &quot;don&#39;t lick that&quot;.</p> </blockquote><h2>5. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ellemenopeaqu/">ellemenopeaqu</a>&#39;s daughter doesn&#39;t know how jackets work.</h2><blockquote> <p>My daughter insists wearing a jacket will make her cold because she only wears it when she is cold.</p> <p><strong>EDIT:</strong> Thank you for the silver strangers!</p> </blockquote><h2>6. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PiBBzYx/">PiBBzYx</a>&#39;s brother wasn&#39;t good at the blame game.</h2><blockquote> <p>My older brother carved my name into the side of my mums car with a rock for whatever reason and tried to blame it on me.</p> </blockquote><h2>7. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/the-magnificunt/">the-magnific*nt</a>&#39;s child selectively fact checks children&#39;s movies.</h2><blockquote> <p>My toddler watched at least an hour of an animated movie populated entirely by talking animals. Suddenly, a giraffe came onscreen and said something. My kid stood up, pointed at the TV, and angrily yelled, &quot;What?! Giraffes can&#39;t talk!&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/zw12065/">zw12065</a>&#39;s daughter claimed a squirrel messed up the kitchen.</h2><blockquote> <p>My 12 year old daughter blamed a squirrel when we asked how the Borax for her slime projects moved from the garage to the kitchen counter. It&#39;s so fulfilling to go from &quot;I&#39;m pretty sure you&#39;re lying&quot;, to &quot;100% I know you&#39;re lying&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>9. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MothsAreJustAsGood/">MothsAreJustAsGood</a>&#39;s brother almost killed himself (on accident).</h2><blockquote> <p>When my brother was around six, he decided he wanted to play Tarzan with a cord hanging in his room. However, the cord kept slipping from his hand, so he decided to swing with it around his neck instead. My poor grandmother walked into the room to find her grandchild apparently trying to hang himself!</p> </blockquote><h2>10. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RainbowUnicornLeader/">RainbowUnicornLeader</a>&#39;s daughter has high hopes for the future.</h2><blockquote> <p>Our daughter. When asked what she wanted to be when she grows up answered: &ldquo;I want to be a strawberry, but if that&rsquo;s too hard I want to be purple&rdquo;... The color purple. The fruit strawberry. She was five.</p> </blockquote><h2>11. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SiliconSam/">SiliconSam</a>&#39;s little brother ran away from Frankenstein.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I was a kid, my little brother woke up and thought he saw Frankenstein walking down our hallway in the middle of the night.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He took off running in his underwear, out the door, down the block, several blocks really. A couple picked him up maybe 4 blocks away and brought him home. He was on his way to my Grandmother&rsquo;s trailer a good half mile away.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Kicker was, the Frankenstein he saw was my Grandmother who was staying with us that night. Took a while to live that one down.</p> </blockquote><h2>12. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/scruit/">scruit</a>&#39;s son has inventive plumbing solutions.</h2><blockquote> <p>My son, at age 10...</p> <p>I was trying to figure out why my shower was draining so slowly and wound up pulling the drain strainer out. Inside I found a bunch of brown paper goop. It took me a while to figure out what it was. I went to my son and asked him:</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Did you tear up a toilet paper tube into little pieces and cram those pieces down the drain in the shower?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Yes.&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Ok. (*brain fries*) How about not?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Sure.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/gud_spelller/">gud_spelller</a>&#39;s child saved water from a storm.</h2><blockquote> <p>When a sudden rainstorm hit our campsite, my 11 year old rescued a full water bucket from the rain and put it under the canopy to keep it dry.</p> </blockquote><h2>14. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Jenkem_of_the_Masses/">Jenkem_of_the_Masses</a>&#39;s child undid his own work.</h2><blockquote> <p>My 4 yo son just the other day spilled his water bottle on the floor. I told him to get paper towels to wipe it up. He does. Then I told him to throw the towels in the trash. He wrings them back out onto the floor before he throws them in the trash. &lt;facepalm&gt;</p> </blockquote><h2>15. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mr_Frible/">Mr_Frible</a>&#39;s son is at war with the cat.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I caught him peeing in the doorway of his room at the age of 5. His reason? &quot; Cause I don&#39;t want the kitty coming into my room.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>16. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PeepDragon44/">PeepDragon44</a> poisoned themselves.</h2><blockquote> <p>I was that kid. My parents took my siblings and I to a greenhouse garden; everyone was on their best behavior until I got the sudden urge to lick some foamy stuff off of a window. I was always a good kid, never caused any trouble but for whatever reason I had this compulsion to lick this foamy stuff off the window. Poison control had to be called, my parents were frantic, it was an ordeal. I was anaphylactic to milk at the time too, and I was definitely old enough to know better.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LJGHunter/">LJGHunter</a>&#39;s kid needs a new trick.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Hey mommy, wanna see a trick?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Sure honey, show me a trick.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p><em>Kid runs around in circles to build up momentum, very deliberately crashes head first into the wall then falls down and starts crying.</em></p> <p>&quot;...good trick, sweety.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>18. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Blanchdog/">Blanchdog</a> didn&#39;t understand why they couldn&#39;t see their own eyes.</h2><blockquote> <p>One time my Mom asked me what color my eyes were so I started looking around trying to see them.</p> </blockquote><h2>19. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PearENormal/">PearENormal</a>&#39;s sister wasn&#39;t the brightest bulb in the box.</h2><blockquote> <p>When my sister was 18 she was planning a trip to California after HS graduation. She spent several days calling banks to get the exchange rate for money because somehow she was absolutely convinced that regular US currency in Pennsylvania was not usable in California. She thought the banks were all lying to her that it was the same money. I am surprised she even FOUND California!</p> </blockquote><h2>20. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/count_frightenstein/">count_frightenstein</a>&#39;s son took the Axe challenge to another level.</h2><blockquote> <p>When the Axe challenge was a thing. Apparently, you spray Axe over the front of your shirt, light it on fire, then take the shirt off. I think that&#39;s it. Anyway, this genius gets his arm stuck or something as he pulled the shirt off inside out so, of course, the fire is now burning his face.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He gets it off with the help of his friends and gets taken to the hospital with 2nd degree burns by his friend&#39;s mother because he was staying over. That was a fun phone call to get at 3am. &quot;Dad, I&#39;m okay but I had an accident and Karen has taken me to the hospital to get treated. I told her it wasn&#39;t a big deal but she made me call&quot;.</p> </blockquote><h2> </h2><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I was like 4 years old and couldn&#39;t write yet.</p> </blockquote><h2> </h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

20 parents answer the question: 'What's the dumbest thing your kid has ever done.'

Here&#39;s the thing: kids are dumb as hell. Yes, &quot;their brains are still developing.&quot; Sure, calling a child with a developing brain &quot;dumb&quot; is reductive and harmful, but we&#39;ve all thought it at some points. Hanging out with children is like hanging out with Norm from Cheers during last call, except with a lot less complaining about his wife. Which is to say, children are basically cuter drunk people, with less war stories and a lot more stupid questions.While it&#39;s only natural for children to say or do absurd things as they discover how the world works, there are some stories that truly outdo the rest.In a recent Reddit thread, parents shared the stupidest things their kids have done, and from the sounds of it, these kids will never live down these stories. 1. ZooBitch doesn&#39;t eat their kid&#39;s ramen for a reason. My son has microwaved ramen noodles with no water A FEW TIMES. Just so you know, they are flammable and smoke horribly and turn your microwave an awful yellow color. 2. GFY_EH hopes their son is okay. Me waking into the bathroom to check on my 4 year old son having a bath: &quot;Why are you smashing your penis with that (toy) hammer?&quot; 3. Purdygreen&#39;s son tries to blame invisible siblings. My son, who was 8 at the time, and an only child, carved his very long name into the toliet seat. Then claimed he didn&#39;t do it. Lol. 4. Pm_me_what&#39;s child is adventurous with their mouth. I&#39;m amazed at how many times I&#39;ve had to say &quot;don&#39;t lick that&quot;. 5. ellemenopeaqu&#39;s daughter doesn&#39;t know how jackets work. My daughter insists wearing a jacket will make her cold because she only wears it when she is cold. EDIT: Thank you for the silver strangers! 6. PiBBzYx&#39;s brother wasn&#39;t good at the blame game. My older brother carved my name into the side of my mums car with a rock for whatever reason and tried to blame it on me. 7. the-magnific*nt&#39;s child selectively fact checks children&#39;s movies. My toddler watched at least an hour of an animated movie populated entirely by talking animals. Suddenly, a giraffe came onscreen and said something. My kid stood up, pointed at the TV, and angrily yelled, &quot;What?! Giraffes can&#39;t talk!&quot; 8. zw12065&#39;s daughter claimed a squirrel messed up the kitchen. My 12 year old daughter blamed a squirrel when we asked how the Borax for her slime projects moved from the garage to the kitchen counter. It&#39;s so fulfilling to go from &quot;I&#39;m pretty sure you&#39;re lying&quot;, to &quot;100% I know you&#39;re lying&quot; 9. MothsAreJustAsGood&#39;s brother almost killed himself (on accident). When my brother was around six, he decided he wanted to play Tarzan with a cord hanging in his room. However, the cord kept slipping from his hand, so he decided to swing with it around his neck instead. My poor grandmother walked into the room to find her grandchild apparently trying to hang himself! 10. RainbowUnicornLeader&#39;s daughter has high hopes for the future. Our daughter. When asked what she wanted to be when she grows up answered: &ldquo;I want to be a strawberry, but if that&rsquo;s too hard I want to be purple&rdquo;... The color purple. The fruit strawberry. She was five. 11. SiliconSam&#39;s little brother ran away from Frankenstein. When I was a kid, my little brother woke up and thought he saw Frankenstein walking down our hallway in the middle of the night.  He took off running in his underwear, out the door, down the block, several blocks really. A couple picked him up maybe 4 blocks away and brought him home. He was on his way to my Grandmother&rsquo;s trailer a good half mile away.  Kicker was, the Frankenstein he saw was my Grandmother who was staying with us that night. Took a while to live that one down. 12. scruit&#39;s son has inventive plumbing solutions. My son, at age 10... I was trying to figure out why my shower was draining so slowly and wound up pulling the drain strainer out. Inside I found a bunch of brown paper goop. It took me a while to figure out what it was. I went to my son and asked him:  &quot;Did you tear up a toilet paper tube into little pieces and cram those pieces down the drain in the shower?&quot; &quot;Yes.&quot; &quot;Ok. (*brain fries*) How about not?&quot; &quot;Sure.&quot; 13. gud_spelller&#39;s child saved water from a storm. When a sudden rainstorm hit our campsite, my 11 year old rescued a full water bucket from the rain and put it under the canopy to keep it dry. 14. Jenkem_of_the_Masses&#39;s child undid his own work. My 4 yo son just the other day spilled his water bottle on the floor. I told him to get paper towels to wipe it up. He does. Then I told him to throw the towels in the trash. He wrings them back out onto the floor before he throws them in the trash. &lt;facepalm&gt; 15. Mr_Frible&#39;s son is at war with the cat. When I caught him peeing in the doorway of his room at the age of 5. His reason? &quot; Cause I don&#39;t want the kitty coming into my room.&quot; 16. PeepDragon44 poisoned themselves. I was that kid. My parents took my siblings and I to a greenhouse garden; everyone was on their best behavior until I got the sudden urge to lick some foamy stuff off of a window. I was always a good kid, never caused any trouble but for whatever reason I had this compulsion to lick this foamy stuff off the window. Poison control had to be called, my parents were frantic, it was an ordeal. I was anaphylactic to milk at the time too, and I was definitely old enough to know better. 17. LJGHunter&#39;s kid needs a new trick. &quot;Hey mommy, wanna see a trick?&quot; &quot;Sure honey, show me a trick.&quot;  Kid runs around in circles to build up momentum, very deliberately crashes head first into the wall then falls down and starts crying. &quot;...good trick, sweety.&quot; 18. Blanchdog didn&#39;t understand why they couldn&#39;t see their own eyes. One time my Mom asked me what color my eyes were so I started looking around trying to see them. 19. PearENormal&#39;s sister wasn&#39;t the brightest bulb in the box. When my sister was 18 she was planning a trip to California after HS graduation. She spent several days calling banks to get the exchange rate for money because somehow she was absolutely convinced that regular US currency in Pennsylvania was not usable in California. She thought the banks were all lying to her that it was the same money. I am surprised she even FOUND California! 20. count_frightenstein&#39;s son took the Axe challenge to another level. When the Axe challenge was a thing. Apparently, you spray Axe over the front of your shirt, light it on fire, then take the shirt off. I think that&#39;s it. Anyway, this genius gets his arm stuck or something as he pulled the shirt off inside out so, of course, the fire is now burning his face.  He gets it off with the help of his friends and gets taken to the hospital with 2nd degree burns by his friend&#39;s mother because he was staying over. That was a fun phone call to get at 3am. &quot;Dad, I&#39;m okay but I had an accident and Karen has taken me to the hospital to get treated. I told her it wasn&#39;t a big deal but she made me call&quot;.               I was like 4 years old and couldn&#39;t write yet.  