In a perfect world, everyone would stay thoroughly hydrated during a night out on the town, and the night would end with adults slumbering in their own beds, safe and sound after a night of debauchery. But anyone who has partied knows this isn't how things go down, many times the wildest nights transition into disoriented, headache-filled, mornings where you wake in a mysterious location.

Of course, if waking in mysterious places is a pattern, it's probably time to cut back on the partying or at least moderate the drinking. That being said, having a tale or two under your belt doubles as entertaining dinner conversation and a reminder to hit the water on those crazy nights.

In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the strangest places they've woken up after blacking out, and most of these people are just lucky to be alive.

1. OP kicked it off with a bloody bang.

I once woke up in a snowbank with a dog licking blood off my face. I was walking home wasted in the middle of winter and I slipped on some ice and went face first into the pavement - my hands were in my pockets so I didn't catch myself. I sat down on the snowbank and grabbed a handful of snow to put on my face to stop the bleeding. I had planned to stand up and walk home after a few minutes when the blood wasn't still pouring out of my chin, but it was late and I was tired and drunk. I fell asleep. Woke up several hours later with a dog licking the blood from my face.

Dogs love blood.

I woke up laughing from the tickling sensation and the dog's owner, understandably, thought I was totally insane: covered in blood, lying in a snowbank, laughing hysterically, at like 5:30 in the morning.

He wanted to call an ambulance. I refused, he insisted, I told him I was fine, he started asking questions in an effort to gauge my mental state, so I just ran away.

Let's hear 'em, reddit.

2. Victreebel was forced to fish their way back home.

I live in Norway. I once got so drunk I fell asleep on a small fishing boat with a crew of 6 men. I woke up way out at sea and had to work there for 3 days before they put me ashore. Was 3 of the best days of my life.

3. randomhobo met a British guy with a next level tale of drunkenness.

I was once in Thailand and I met a British guy who woke up lying on his back in the middle of a classroom full of Thai kids, half way through a lesson. It was an open air classroom and he had stumbled in at some point during the night. He passed out on the floor and the Thai people decided not to wake him up when they arrived in the morning. When he finally woke up at about 10am, he sat up, exchanged awkward looks with everyone, stood up, and walked back to his hotel.

4. Pizzadude is lucky to be alive.

The gutter in front of my apartments, covered in blood and vomit.

But what makes the story is that my friends had already gotten me safely home and inside. Apparently I was laying on the living room floor, and felt like I was going to throw up. I guess I didn't want to make a mess inside, so in one smooth motion I jumped up, planted a foot on a chair, and launched myself headfirst out the window. I'm told that I hit the ground with my face, then log-rolled down the hill, vomiting every single time I landed on my stomach, leaving a trail of perfectly spaced splatter marks. I hit the barrier chain, swung under it and across the sidewalk, and planted in the gutter.

All of my friends took turns sitting on the front steps, watching me as I twitched and moaned my roommate's name all night. I don't know why (to either of those things).

I guess the neighbor's children were terrified too.

5. krustychocolate has peak drunk logic.

Not as much the place (my friend's bed, she was right beside me) but it was what was on me when I woke up. There was something rubbing against my face that felt like tiny rocks and when I looked, I had a skateboard down my shirt with the grip facing up. Apparently, I decided this was the best method to roll down the hallway on my stomach. I got out of bed and rolled to the kitchen to make breakfast.

6. wokeupinacupboard doesn't know how they broke into their neighbor's house.

Had a party at my house. When I woke up the next morning it was dark and cramped. I opened the doors and fell out of a cupboard in a house I didn't recognize. I managed to sneak out quietly and realized once I had made it to the street that it was someones house about a half block down the street from my own.

I don't know those people.

I must have drunkenly broken in and decided to hide.

7. omigahguy has a few stories.

In the bed of a pick up truck in downtown Detroit. I had been there 3 or 4 hours. Never so lucky.

A friend was shaken awake behind the Last Lap bar in Knoxville once by a little old lady saying "son you can't sleep on my lawn any longer".

8. HashRunner had the cutest hangover.

Woke up in a random apartment covered in kittens once.

Was surreal and awesome... (The kittens were alive and climbing on me/mewing, I was completely clothed and perfectly fine beyond a monster hangover)

9. Esull has a range of tales.

Best: In bed with a guy I was silly-in-love with.

Worst: In between 2 gay guys, one of whom had pissed the bed at one point during the night.

Weirdest: the shore of a pond, a good 2 miles away from where the beer-b-q was. My clothes were clearly drunkenly reapplied and I had a miners light on my head.

10. allthesewoes got an unwelcome wake up call from Mom.

Once was woken up by my mother yelling at me as I'm laying pantless sprawled across the kitchen floor my kitchen floor. I am next to the microwave, where I passed out while waiting for my hot pocket to cook. The hot pocket, still inside, is a black rock of charred pastry because the timer was set for god-knows-how-long. Luckily I did not burn the house down. Oh, and on the computer screen, youporn.com

tl;dr: I came home wasted, planned to eat a hot pocket and masturbate, passed out

11. wuwtk's friends trolled them in the most delicious way.

One morning about a year ago after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up with a king sized bag of skittles in my pocket. I had no idea where they came from and I never left this one house according what my friends told me. Every time after that whenever I pass out my friends were apparently putting bags of skittles in pockets just to confuse me. I didn't find out until about 2 months ago. They still deny the first time though and apparently its still a mystery. I have awesome friends.

12. headlessparrot unscrews apartment lighting in their sleep.

On the floor of my apartment, but with a pot of coffee (brewed apparently in the moments just before full-on black-out, since it was still warm--thanks for the foresight, drunk-as-fuck me!) on the linoleum right next to me.

Runner up: in my own bed, completely naked except for my socks and shoes still being on, with every single lightbulb in my room unscrewed and laid neatly next to me in a row on my pillow (i.e. if I'd rolled over at any point in the night, I clearly would have shattered them and impaled myself and probably bled to death).

Edit: apparently 'runner up' is code for "actually, a way better story." Here's another one (not me, but a good friend): got black-out drunk and decided he wanted two entire racks of ribs, which he successfully purchased and navigated home, and decided to eat on his bed. He woke up the next morning and during the standard post-night-out pat down (you know, the one where you make sure all your parts are accounted for), concluded there was blood all over his hands and he'd done some serious damage to his own ribcage. He looks down and realizes that a) the blood was rib-sauce, and b) he had just gently laid the finished rib-bones down on his chest over his actual ribs, and he'd been feeling those while panicking.

13. exNihlio no longer binge drinks.

About a month before I left for Iraq I went to visit home. I usually don't drink but having just obtained the legal drinking age I thought: "f*ck it". Arriving at my friends very small rented house already filled with numerous amounts of people in various states of debauchery and drunkenness I begin to consume copious amounts of alcohol. After going shot for shot with three people in the span of 30 minutes and not being a normally heavy drinker, the room begins to spin before my eyes.

Recognizing my impending unconsciousness I begin to make hasty preparations. I take off my shoes and try to make it to an empty room to pass out away from people. I should also note that at this party there was a VERY large woman. By large I mean roughly 400 lbs. This is an important part of the story. The last thing I remember that night is dragging myself along the floor.

The next morning I slowly open my eyes. The first thing I notice is I am completely soaked. The next I notice is a horrific pain in my chest and sides. As I groan and slowly drag myself up, I look around. I am sitting in my friends bathroom. The floor in flooded in about an inch of water with runny vomit floating in it. Upon closer inspection I can see that the freestanding sink in the bathroom has been ripped of the wall.

Along with a chunk of the wall. As I walk out to the living room I begin to piece the events of last night together from the remaining guests. Apparently I had woken up later and tried to drag myself to the bathroom to puke. (I remember none of this) Upon arriving there that very large woman at the party also decided to join me in puking in the bathroom. At the threshold of the doorway she tripped and began to fall. Grappling for something she seized upon the sink and proceeded to remove it from the wall. As well as eventually falling on me. And then proceeding to vomit everywhere.

I later went to the doctor and discovered I had broken three ribs. This is why I no longer drink to excess.

14. YeaISeddit travels in their sleep.

Three miles from the bar, jeans torn all over, sharing a bus stop with a homeless guy, wearing a Trojan helmet.

15. KingOfSwing90 had a moment with their now ex.

Party with my friends who were graduating from college. Lots of good beer and cocktails. Then the tequila shots started. The third tequila shot was the last one I remember.

Woke up pooping, to my then-girlfriend throwing up in the sink next to me. We made eye contact, and promptly burst out laughing.

16. millerlite1984 woke up to discover they were robbed.

The morning after a Saint Patty's day, I woke up in the hallway of a low income housing complex (Section 8 if you're familiar with Minnesota Housing) when a paper boy through the news paper next to my feet. I did not know anyone who lived in this building. I then noticed my glasses were missing, all of my cash was gone, I had bush stickers stuck all over my sweater, My arms were scraped from wrist to elbow, my cell phone was dead, and my keys were gone.

When I walked outside I could see the Saint Paul Skyline to my right and immediately knew that the closest person I knew was where my car was... 5 miles away. While taking the walk of shame in the early morning, I decided I would shortcut through a parking ramp, bad move. I ended up getting lost in this ramp for a good 20 mins before I just walked back to the beginning.

Then I get to my friends house a while later, being the polite person I am, I didn't want to wake her parents and passed out on her front stoop. It's 40 degrees out and I only have a long sleeve/light sweater on. Half an hour later she opens the door because her neighbor called and told her someone may be dead on her steps. I found out she lives on her own. I. am. an. idiot.

17. Cptn_Janeway found their drunk island of choice.

On the island of Kauai, got drunk before airplane with buddies on Oahu, we planned on going to Maui but accidentally got off on Kauai to go drunken camping. We all woke up thinking we were on Maui, we freaked out for maybe 10 minutes when we realized where we really were, then we just said fuck it, we'll just stay here.

When you are drunk on an island, it doesn't really matter what island you are on.

18. Phallic is thankful to those policewomen.

In the back of a police wagon.

Problem was, I was watching loads of trashy "true crime" shows at the time and my first reaction when I came out of blackout in a windowless white chamber that was clearly being driven somewhere was to assume I was being kidnapped.

I went absolutely apesh*t, flailing around the wagon and screaming for help. Turns out two lovely policewomen had found me passed out on a sidewalk (end of exams :/) and had decided to give me a lift home, but I was too drunk to give directions. They checked my wallet and saw I lived on a dorm so they took me there, but I'd actually moved out 6 months earlier and hadn't gotten around to changing the address on my license.

Still, got me some pretty good street cred turning up at my old college, shitfaced and talking gibberish, in the back of a police van.

To this day I don't know why they took 2 hours out of their night to get me home, they could have easily just thrown me in a cell to dry out. I sent the station a really nice letter after that.

19. lucidsensai truly saw Alaska.

I live in Alaska and when I was a youngin in HS the band, Cake, came to play at a local bar. Luckily there was an all ages show about 6 hours away and after some convincing my parents let me go on my first road trip, so I head up to Fairbanks. I go to the concert with some friends and afterward meet up with the people I'm staying with who are well on their way to getting destroyed at a bonfire... they offer me a drink in the form of a resealed beer filled with some sort of hard liquor that I didn't question.

I wake up with no pants several hours later (I think.. phone was in pants) laying on a suede couch with candles lit on the table. I start looking around for a blanket and stumble into a door with light behind it only to find 3 people whom I've never met drinking absinthe. They offer me a shot, which I accept by lighting the shot glass on fire with a lighter that apparently materialized in my hand, and I immediately slam it and walk out of the room.

(I have no idea if I actually said anything). I never do find a blanket but pass back out on the couch pant-less. I roll over and see the guy who had the absinthe pissing on the wall next to a big screen tv.. I wake up in the morning and still don't recognize a single face, but they all know me... At this point I'm super confused and a girl walks out with completely messed up hair holding my pants.. alarms start going off in my head...

I check my phone and see a text from the girl who's house I was staying at asking where I am and then another one saying "oh good! you're with best friends name- come pick me up and we'll head back to the house" I text her back "uh.. who am I with and where am I?"

..North Pole, Alaska..

20. jamesmcbutt broke into a car.

I was drinking at this bar that a friend had rented for the night. Free drinks all night, and I hadn't touched any alcohol in months. It was a Mexican-themed party, so there were pinatas all around the bar, and I wore a sombrero. I blacked out pretty quickly...

I woke up in the driver's seat of what seemed like a pretty nice car in a daze - it was still night out. I heard someone talking on the phone outside the car I was in. Then I saw a silhouette of the dude coming closer. I kind of tried to stay still and hide from him. Luckily it was still dark. I had the feeling that I was at a house party, but none of my friends were around, and I didn't recognize the place. The man on the phone finally went back inside.

Checked my pockets, found like 28 cents and a pack of gum in my pocket. Checked the passenger seat - there was vomit all over it. In the back seat - more vomit, a couple pinatas and my sombrero. It was cold out. I called my friend and described what I saw around me. He finally found me and picked me up. It was about 3 in the morning.

Turns out, no one knows how I got to that car. I like to think that I left the bar (pinatas in hand - apparently I was carrying them around the bar all night), maybe started walking home. But it was cold out, so I drunkenly sought out shelter. Who knows how many cars I tried to open until I found one that was unlocked. So I got in, threw up everywhere, and passed out for an hour or two. The guy who owned that car must have been really fucking surprised to find a couple pinatas, a sombrero, and vomit all over his interior the next day. I still don't know who the guy was who was talking on his cell phone. Maybe he saw some dude sleeping in his parents' car and was calling them/the cops. Also, no idea how I got the change and gum - I guess I stopped at a gas station on my way to finding shelter...

20 of the strangest places people have woken up after a wild night of partying.