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<p>Since the internet is littered with wedding horror story portraits of brides and grooms gone mad, it&#39;s good to remember that most weddings are just fun parties celebrating love. There&#39;s food, there&#39;s (often) booze, there are pretty people wearing pretty outfits, and there are plentiful toasts from the married couple&#39;s closest pals.</p><p>While wedding speeches run the gamut from saccharine Hallmark-style gushing to awkward jokes couched in faux-hostility, the best ones manage to hit fresh funny notes the crowd won&#39;t soon forget.</p><h2>In <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/x6s1h/what_is_the_funniest_thing_you_have_ever_heard_in/" target="_blank">a popular Reddit thread</a>, people share the funniest toasts they&#39;ve heard at weddings and they range from NSFW to deeply embarrassing.</h2><h2>1. OP kicked off the thread.</h2><blockquote> <p>The best man at my cousin&#39;s wedding was finishing up his speech, and stated &quot;I&#39;m sure they will enjoy their Honeymoon in Wales!&quot; They were not going to Wales, so everyone looked at him confused and he turns to the groom and goes &quot;What? You said you were going to banger&#39; for a few weeks.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>2. Moto341 was called by the name of his wife&#39;s ex.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;My wife&#39;s best friend/maid of honor called me the wrong name in her toast...the name she called out...my wife&#39;s ex-boyfriend.</p> <p>I laughed it off at the time...but to be honest I was pretty humiliated.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3. Kbax witnessed a moment of unbridled horniness.</h2><blockquote> <p>Best Man: &quot;And now that you&#39;re a married man, I think we should make an agreement. I&#39;ll stop hitting on your sister if you&#39;ll stop hitting on my mom.&quot;</p> <p>Groom shoots out of his seat and yells, &quot;Not a chance in hell!&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>4. doft saw Josh crush it.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;My sister got married in a small Canadian Mennonite community. The groom&#39;s best man, Josh, was black. Josh started off his speech by saying: &quot;I&#39;m Josh, the one you have been staring at all day.&quot; Everybody laughed so hard.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>5. TwinkleTard&#39;s brother kept it honest.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;My brother was the best man at his friend&#39;s wedding. HIs quote at the end was, &quot;I&#39;d like to give you relationship advice, but what do I know? I&#39;m single and have a cat.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>6. krs_1 has a feeling the bride didn&#39;t love the toast.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Ian said that if I did a good job tonight I could be the best man at his next wedding.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7. Luxowell appreciated the commitment of the key stunt.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I shoot a lot of weddings, but the best one I heard was &quot;Well she&#39;s moving in with Dave now, so it looks like all the ladies will have to give up their keys to your place.&quot;</p> <p>Silence.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Ladies...I&#39;m not kidding...give them up.&quot; Every woman in the place gets up, walks to the head table, and drops a key in front of him. The last one was a very old family friend who, with her back to everyone, opens her blouse and flashes the guy. It ends up, she was wearing a shirt underneath that said: &quot;Everyone thinks I&#39;m flashing you right now.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>8. watermelon101 appreciated the cocaine joke even no one else did.</h2><blockquote> <p>My ex-brother-in-law opened with:</p> <p>&quot;I was nervous about this speech so I just prepared a few lines. After snorting them, I got to work with the writing,&quot; or words to that effect. I think I was the only person laughing.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9. JVM_ loved the role swap.</h2><blockquote> <p>Bride and groom speech at the end of the night.</p> <p>Bride gets teary-eyed talking about her mom...hands the speech paper to the groom.</p> <p>Groom (reading the next line): I wish I could be half the wife and mother that you are.</p> </blockquote><h2>10. Dovesongz saw a groom draw a line with cats.</h2><blockquote> <p>This was in their handwritten vows, the groom said &quot;and absolutely under no circumstances are you allowed to have more than 8 cats. Ever.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>11. sundevilstick watched a best man mourn his friendship.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;At a friend of mine&#39;s wedding, the best man started the speech by talking about how the bride didn&#39;t really like him all that much, and that when anybody met him and the groom at the same time they thought they were gay together and he was going to miss that.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>12. sniffles_snort saw a good Queen joke.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Being asked to serve as best man is a bit like being asked to make love to the Queen. It&#39;s an incredible honour, but no one wants to do it.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13. Ghoom went to a wedding with a very confident best man.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Can&#39;t remember where I heard this...&quot;Me and [groom] have been friends for a long time, but he had some trouble finding a best man. He first asked his richest friend to be his best man, but he said no. Then he asked his funniest friend to be his best man, but he said no. He then asked his best-looking friend to be the best man but even he said no. Then he asked me and after turning him down the first three times I couldn&#39;t refuse again.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>14. MisterCanoeHead&#39;s friend was a grade A troll.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;A friend of mine took a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read, &quot;Sodomy is defined by Websters as...&quot; then paused and said, &quot;Oh! Sorry! Wrong speech.&quot;</p> <p>Folded it up, stuffed it in his pocket, took out his real speech and began. The bride was furious! She later approached my friend and shouted, &quot;You said &#39;Sodomy&#39; on my wedding video?!&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15. HeroOfTime1987 felt the toast about the open bar.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to recognize something magical. Something that has seemingly disappeared in our society. Something so rare and beautiful, we have come together to partake and share in the joy it gives off. I am of course talking about the open bar.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>16. sentimental pirate&#39;s best man did a bait-and-switch.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;My best man was my roommate in college. He told a story about when he knew my wife and I were right for each other. He had come home from a class and noticed the dorm lights were off but could hear slight mumbling inside, from presumably me and my girlfriend. He entered to find us on the bed at the far end of the room...(at this point I felt super awkward, as did many of the audience listening), but when he got closer he noticed that we were side by side with a game boy in each of our hands playing Pokemon.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17. angelamm10 watched the groom poke fun at himself.</h2><blockquote> <p>The groom had a lazy eye and said, &quot;I knew the first time I laid eye on you that I loved you.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>18. youarentbenjamin celebrated with grim statistics.</h2><blockquote> <p>I was the best man at my buddy&#39;s wedding this summer. I closed with &quot;A lot of you don&#39;t know me but I&#39;ve spent my time in college studying mathematics, specifically the field of statistics. I want you guys to look at each other in the eyes. You are now looking at the person who, statistically speaking, is most likely to murder you.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>19. LiterallyOuttoLunch watched a reference bomb.</h2><blockquote> <p>My cousin parroted the speech that the Impressive Clergyman gave during the wedding scene of &#39;The Princess Bride.&#39; Only a couple people under 40 got it. My mother whispered in my ear, &quot;Oh my God, I think Michael is having a stroke.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>20. gutoandreollo watched a groom give a big reveal.</h2><blockquote> <p>In a recent wedding I went to, during the reception afterwards, the groom, who&#39;s universally known (to us, friends of the bride) to be an AWFUL singer, asks for attention, and proceeds to give a speech similar to this:</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>&quot;Ok, so, after knowing [bride]for 5 years, and marrying her an hour ago, I feel it&#39;s finally time to let her know my biggest secret ever, and one I wish to share with all of you. One secret only my closest friends know, and now I wish that all of my wife&#39;s friends know, too.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Cue in &quot;Stairway to heave,&quot; which he sang PERFECTLY, like a true cover, much to my friend&#39;s (the bride) joy and extreme surprise.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Turns out, the day they met, he had a sore throat and couldn&#39;t sing, and just made a fool of himself. So, right then and there he had the idea (and the balls!) to hide the fact that he could probably lead crowd singing, and only reveal it on the most interesting moment, to which he waited for five years, and had his side of friends swear to his secret too.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>LIKE. A. BOSS!</p> </blockquote><h2> </h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

20 people share the funniest wedding speeches they have ever heard.

Since the internet is littered with wedding horror story portraits of brides and grooms gone mad, it&#39;s good to remember that most weddings are just fun parties celebrating love. There&#39;s food, there&#39;s (often) booze, there are pretty people wearing pretty outfits, and there are plentiful toasts from the married couple&#39;s closest pals.While wedding speeches run the gamut from saccharine Hallmark-style gushing to awkward jokes couched in faux-hostility, the best ones manage to hit fresh funny notes the crowd won&#39;t soon forget.In a popular Reddit thread, people share the funniest toasts they&#39;ve heard at weddings and they range from NSFW to deeply embarrassing.1. OP kicked off the thread. The best man at my cousin&#39;s wedding was finishing up his speech, and stated &quot;I&#39;m sure they will enjoy their Honeymoon in Wales!&quot; They were not going to Wales, so everyone looked at him confused and he turns to the groom and goes &quot;What? You said you were going to banger&#39; for a few weeks.&quot; 2. Moto341 was called by the name of his wife&#39;s ex. &quot;My wife&#39;s best friend/maid of honor called me the wrong name in her toast...the name she called out...my wife&#39;s ex-boyfriend. I laughed it off at the time...but to be honest I was pretty humiliated.&quot; 3. Kbax witnessed a moment of unbridled horniness. Best Man: &quot;And now that you&#39;re a married man, I think we should make an agreement. I&#39;ll stop hitting on your sister if you&#39;ll stop hitting on my mom.&quot; Groom shoots out of his seat and yells, &quot;Not a chance in hell!&quot; 4. doft saw Josh crush it. &quot;My sister got married in a small Canadian Mennonite community. The groom&#39;s best man, Josh, was black. Josh started off his speech by saying: &quot;I&#39;m Josh, the one you have been staring at all day.&quot; Everybody laughed so hard.&quot; 5. TwinkleTard&#39;s brother kept it honest. &quot;My brother was the best man at his friend&#39;s wedding. HIs quote at the end was, &quot;I&#39;d like to give you relationship advice, but what do I know? I&#39;m single and have a cat.&quot; 6. krs_1 has a feeling the bride didn&#39;t love the toast. &quot;Ian said that if I did a good job tonight I could be the best man at his next wedding.&quot; 7. Luxowell appreciated the commitment of the key stunt. &quot;I shoot a lot of weddings, but the best one I heard was &quot;Well she&#39;s moving in with Dave now, so it looks like all the ladies will have to give up their keys to your place.&quot; Silence.  &quot;Ladies...I&#39;m not kidding...give them up.&quot; Every woman in the place gets up, walks to the head table, and drops a key in front of him. The last one was a very old family friend who, with her back to everyone, opens her blouse and flashes the guy. It ends up, she was wearing a shirt underneath that said: &quot;Everyone thinks I&#39;m flashing you right now.&quot; 8. watermelon101 appreciated the cocaine joke even no one else did. My ex-brother-in-law opened with: &quot;I was nervous about this speech so I just prepared a few lines. After snorting them, I got to work with the writing,&quot; or words to that effect. I think I was the only person laughing. 9. JVM_ loved the role swap. Bride and groom speech at the end of the night. Bride gets teary-eyed talking about her mom...hands the speech paper to the groom. Groom (reading the next line): I wish I could be half the wife and mother that you are. 10. Dovesongz saw a groom draw a line with cats. This was in their handwritten vows, the groom said &quot;and absolutely under no circumstances are you allowed to have more than 8 cats. Ever.&quot; 11. sundevilstick watched a best man mourn his friendship. &quot;At a friend of mine&#39;s wedding, the best man started the speech by talking about how the bride didn&#39;t really like him all that much, and that when anybody met him and the groom at the same time they thought they were gay together and he was going to miss that.&quot; 12. sniffles_snort saw a good Queen joke. &quot;Being asked to serve as best man is a bit like being asked to make love to the Queen. It&#39;s an incredible honour, but no one wants to do it.&quot; 13. Ghoom went to a wedding with a very confident best man. &quot;Can&#39;t remember where I heard this...&quot;Me and [groom] have been friends for a long time, but he had some trouble finding a best man. He first asked his richest friend to be his best man, but he said no. Then he asked his funniest friend to be his best man, but he said no. He then asked his best-looking friend to be the best man but even he said no. Then he asked me and after turning him down the first three times I couldn&#39;t refuse again.&quot; 14. MisterCanoeHead&#39;s friend was a grade A troll. &quot;A friend of mine took a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket and began to read, &quot;Sodomy is defined by Websters as...&quot; then paused and said, &quot;Oh! Sorry! Wrong speech.&quot; Folded it up, stuffed it in his pocket, took out his real speech and began. The bride was furious! She later approached my friend and shouted, &quot;You said &#39;Sodomy&#39; on my wedding video?!&quot; 15. HeroOfTime1987 felt the toast about the open bar. &quot;Ladies and gentlemen. We are gathered here today to recognize something magical. Something that has seemingly disappeared in our society. Something so rare and beautiful, we have come together to partake and share in the joy it gives off. I am of course talking about the open bar.&quot; 16. sentimental pirate&#39;s best man did a bait-and-switch. &quot;My best man was my roommate in college. He told a story about when he knew my wife and I were right for each other. He had come home from a class and noticed the dorm lights were off but could hear slight mumbling inside, from presumably me and my girlfriend. He entered to find us on the bed at the far end of the room...(at this point I felt super awkward, as did many of the audience listening), but when he got closer he noticed that we were side by side with a game boy in each of our hands playing Pokemon.&quot; 17. angelamm10 watched the groom poke fun at himself. The groom had a lazy eye and said, &quot;I knew the first time I laid eye on you that I loved you.&quot; 18. youarentbenjamin celebrated with grim statistics. I was the best man at my buddy&#39;s wedding this summer. I closed with &quot;A lot of you don&#39;t know me but I&#39;ve spent my time in college studying mathematics, specifically the field of statistics. I want you guys to look at each other in the eyes. You are now looking at the person who, statistically speaking, is most likely to murder you.&quot; 19. LiterallyOuttoLunch watched a reference bomb. My cousin parroted the speech that the Impressive Clergyman gave during the wedding scene of &#39;The Princess Bride.&#39; Only a couple people under 40 got it. My mother whispered in my ear, &quot;Oh my God, I think Michael is having a stroke.&quot; 20. gutoandreollo watched a groom give a big reveal. In a recent wedding I went to, during the reception afterwards, the groom, who&#39;s universally known (to us, friends of the bride) to be an AWFUL singer, asks for attention, and proceeds to give a speech similar to this:  &quot;Ok, so, after knowing [bride]for 5 years, and marrying her an hour ago, I feel it&#39;s finally time to let her know my biggest secret ever, and one I wish to share with all of you. One secret only my closest friends know, and now I wish that all of my wife&#39;s friends know, too.&quot;  Cue in &quot;Stairway to heave,&quot; which he sang PERFECTLY, like a true cover, much to my friend&#39;s (the bride) joy and extreme surprise.  Turns out, the day they met, he had a sore throat and couldn&#39;t sing, and just made a fool of himself. So, right then and there he had the idea (and the balls!) to hide the fact that he could probably lead crowd singing, and only reveal it on the most interesting moment, to which he waited for five years, and had his side of friends swear to his secret too.  LIKE. A. BOSS!  

20 people share the funniest wedding speeches they have ever heard.

In a popular Reddit thread, people share the funniest toasts they've heard at weddings and they range from NSFW to deeply embarrassing.

1. OP kicked off the thread.

2. Moto341 was called by the name of his wife's ex.