20 people share stories about the weirdest things coworkers have done

We've all at one point encountered "that guy" or "that girl" in the workplace. Maybe they're the coworker who makes smelly food, has personal conversations on speakerphone, and gets too hammered at every holiday party. In some cases, they say wildly inappropriate things to their peers, overshare about their sex lives, and even bring drugs or alcohol to the workplace. Regardless of whether they're harmless or mildly terrifying, accidentally awkward or intentionally trolling, "that guy" always manages to give the workplace a bounty of stories that survive longer than their actual careers.In a popular Reddit thread, user koosh12 asked people to share anecdotes about "that guy" or "that girl" in their workplace, and the stories quickly flooded in. 1. OP kicked it off with a tribute to Stan. I used to work inside sales at a hvac company just outside of Toronto. There was a guy there named Stan. Stan was money. He tried so hard to be social but didn't quite know what he was doing, which often lead to hilarity. Here are a few examples of Stan being Stan : Upon learning a coworker was Polish, he said "you're a Pollock!?!?! " then told her every anti Polish joke he knew. He genuinely thought she would find it funny and he was laughing the whole time. After not getting a promotion after his review (there were no positions for him to move into nor was he anywhere near qualified) he created a petition to have our sales manager fired and went around to everyone in each department and asked them to sign it. Nobody signed it except for him. My favorite was at a company BBQ. Stan and one of the guys from shipping decided to do mushrooms. The BBQ was at the president of the company's house so this was wildly inappropriate. After about 45 mins he was going around from person to person shouting "go g-men!!" To the guys (he was a NY giants fan and the season just started) and asked the girls to dance with him. He then told a racist joke to the 65 year old VP and laughed so hard at his own joke that he started drooling. I miss that guy sometimes. He made work a hell of a lot more interesting. So Reddit, tell me stories about that guy or girl in your office that spices things up a little for better or worse. EDIT #1: Another Stan story. Stan and I were at a co-workers place with a few other guys and were having some beers, some smoke and watching a hockey game. It was second intermission and Stan was a wreck, he doesn't handle his smoke well. He was making samosas in our co-workers oven, and decided he wanted to make himself a cesar. He took the cap off the clamato, turned to talk to me about something and while talking to me started to shake the clamato juice... with the lid off. Juice everywhere, but he cleaned it all up and had a mound of paper towels on top of the stove. The oven dings, his samosas are ready. He opens the oven door, but needs to clear off the paper towels from the stovetop so he can put the cookie sheet down. He stood there staring at the situation for well over a minute, totally confused as to how he was going to get out of this pickle. I gave him a plastic bag to put the dirty paper towels in, so the stovetop would be cleaned off, problem solved. "Good idea, thanks man" says Stan. Nope. Stan then used the plastic bag as an oven mitt and picked up the hot cookie sheet out of the oven with nothing but a thin plastic bag between his hand and the hot metal. The bag instantly melted to his hands and he burned himself pretty bad, smashing the sheet against the wall. Samosas everywhere. We had to take him to the hospital but we were all way too drunk to drive so we all walked 15 mins to the ER. **Edit 2: ** Wow, front page, this is crazy! Thanks to those below for pointing out that the correct term (racial slur?!) is "Polack" and not "Pollock" which is, as I've come to learn, a piece of Minimalist Abstract Art or a Fish. This would explain why my phone autocorrected it to that spelling, and I'm actually kind of disappointed because I thought my phone came pre-loaded with all ethnic slurs out of the box. To those who noted about not driving to the hospital; of course we would do the responsible thing. It turned out way better that way. Stan was drunk enough that he didn't notice the pain much once we started walking. We kept asking him for high 5's (he wouldn't fall for it), and he told us he felt the melted bag pieces stuck to his hand made him look like the Ultimate Warrior from wrestling. **Edit 3: ** I should clarify something. This isn't about someone who is inappropriately mean, or quiet or otherwise quirky. It's about someone eccentric who always makes for great stories. We're all odd in our own way, just some of us are better at hiding it than others. It's what's behind the social mask that makes us unique, and that's a beautiful thing, but when someone doesn't care to wear it things are often spontaneously hilarious. This isn't about malice, or hatred towards someone, it's about loving someone who makes for good stories. If we had negative feelings towards Stan, we would have told him to GTFO and find his own way to the hospital, and not to touch anything with his gross melty hand on the way out. tl;dr: Go back to the top and read, you have to chew your food before you swallow. 2. gaqua is forever amused by Roger. A guy at my work, let's call him Roger, claimed you can get "high octane racing fuel" by mixing 89 Octane and 93 Octane gas in your tank. Roger told me, on my first day here, 7 years ago, that if I wanted to know any good asian massage parlors nearby, he'd recommend the "good" ones with the happy endings. First day at work. He used to watch webcam girls from the Philippines on his desktop at work - stripping, doing other unsavory things, etc. Then he went over and married one and now she lives here. She's half his age and probably less than half his size. He took a Filipino co-worker to see his buddy's band at a local bar - turns out it was a biker bar frequented by a lot of some kind of Aryan Nation-style bikers. The co-worker told me that there were signs up extolling the virtues of white supremacy, and that everyone was glaring at him the entire time he was in the bar. When he pointed it out, Roger just laughed and said "I come here all the time it's no big deal." Roger snores through meetings. Roger at one time had some kind of narcolepsy or something, and would fall asleep in his cube. Co-workers frequently threw things at him to wake him up. The weird thing is - he's actually a pretty nice guy. If you got arrested or something, and called him at 3am to come bail you out, he'd do it, even if he'd only met you once, for like 10 minutes. He's very friendly and sociable - he's just really strange. 3. DavidisGoliath's coworker has pet squirrels. A direct quote: "I woke up on an old mattress next to my boyfriend's brother, in an abandoned church, wearing a bikini, in Tuscaloosa. And that was the first time I'd ever done Xanax." She also brought a pink briefcase full of dildos to work (at a law firm) because she had a sex toy party to host later in the evening. She lived in a house that didn't have a kitchen. She has 2 pet squirrels, and her husband plays in an awful nu-metal band. She also crushes pills up on her desk with her keys and snorts them when she thinks no one is looking. 4. missnixon was shook by their coworker's buzzed head. Working in an open concept office where we used an instant messenger to communicate. One day working late, it's only myself and That Guy. He disappeared for 20 minutes then came back, but I didn't notice much. He types to me "Hey do you like my haircut?" and I look over and he has just LOCKED eyes with me after shaving his head with a razor in the bathroom. 5. SamuelLChang has gotten used to Tim's tantrums. Used to work with a guy who was an excellent engineer but frequently subject to fits of rage when things didn't go well with what he was working on. Picture the scene: typical cubical farm with engineers hard at work and the only sound you hear is the sound of tapping on keyboards. Suddenly, the sound of hysterical angry cursing and someone slamming their keyboard on the desk repeatedly. Everyone leaps to their feet in alarm like a coterie of prairie dogs scanning the room for the source of the noise. Almost at once, everyone realizes that it's just Tim having another tantrum, smiles at each other and quietly sits back down. Later our secretary walks over to his office with a new keyboard, puts it on his desk without a word and then walks back. 6. DigitalLD has a coworker who has cracked the student loan code. A woman at my company has decided instead of paying on her student loans, she will simply get more degrees. She's 40+, on her 4th masters degree, and does nothing but complain about school work all day. Probably at least a hundred k in debt. No comprendo. 7. toinfinitiandbeyond hopes John is okay. "That Guy" at my current company is John. John is a conspiracy theorist he believes that the anti-theft RFID things at the doors of Walmart are designed to scan your credit cards and the metal strip in money in your wallet to see how much money you have to spend. John talks about secret CIA trains that run in tunnels under the city. John used to work for a cell phone company and tells us stories of how he installed scanners on light poles on nearly every major road to scan for a unique identifier that all vehicles emit for government tracking purposes. John believes the building we work in has chemicals applied to HVAC system which is making us more compliant with government programs. John will never use his ATM card to buy meals because he doesn't want the government to track what he eats. John calls a $20 bill a yuppy meal coupon (I actually thought that one was funny) Ice cream is called whipped lard. Eating at Panda Express is eating "an endangered species meal". John once told me about his collection of different sized rubber gloves he has at home. He has a pair that go up to his shoulders for cleaning the bathroom. Sadly John quit a few months ago. On the day he quit he sat in his car in the parking garage for 4 hours before he worked up the guts to call his boss on the phone and quit. He instructed that his desk be boxed up and sent to his home. No one has heard from John since. EDIT: Just thought of some more. John also believed that all major leaders of the world belonged to the same family tree. Also our building has anti-earthquake devices attached to it so the building shakes gently every so often. John claimed that the shakes were the CIA shooting mind control beams up from their underground trains. John believes our secretary at the front desk keeps a log of when John entered and left the building. Most days John would ride the train to work and every so often he would say, "better stay indoors they are spraying again." Spraying mind control drugs that is. EDIT2: I forgot to mention that he made custom tin foil hats that he used to sell on the web. Unfortunately I don't have a link. He also made Jester hats with detachable bells so you could wash them without the bells getting rusty from the water. 8. p4warrior is just glad Paul hasn't been fired. My good friend Paul works in the warehouse at our company. He's gotten into every sort of trouble imaginable: he tipped a towering stack of construction materials over the back of our yard's wall, he slammed the forklift into one of our delivery trucks when he dozed off, he's gone to the wrong construction site a hundred miles away from the intended delivery site. But he's a genuinely good-hearted guy, and the company's had mercy on him. He's still with us. Tons of funny stories always coming out of the warehouse from this guy. The highlight: Paul's an Iron Maiden fan, and he's always singing while he works. Well, one day, Paul decides to sing a parody version of "Caught Somewhere in Time" with the clever lyrics of "Caught With Shaft in Hand." So he's just belting these inappropriate lyrics out as he moseys over towards the will-call counter. Who should walk in but one of the sales directors, giving a tour of the warehouse to a new (female) salesperson. Paul rounds the corner, contiuning the chorus with, "CAAAAUGHT WITH SHAAAAFT IN HAAAAAA...." and bumps into the sales director. He plays if off like nothing happened, shakes his hand and the hand of the new employee, who are both giving him odd looks. To add to the hilarity, when they finally depart, we notice his fly's been down the entire time. 9. mostlyambivalent has "that family" working at their job. I'm not even sure where to start. We have "that family" working in our warehouse. It's a mother and her son and daughter. The son was recently fired for reasons that I will get to in a moment. They are as white trash as you can possibly be. Think of all the stereotypes and you will have thought of them. So here's the laundry list: The Mother: Married to a guy that has dementia and 13 stints in his heart. They have filed medical bankruptcy 3 times. Most recently, her husband tried to kill himself but ended up only shooting himself in the shoulder. She always wears t-shirts with sayings that she thinks are clever like, God Don't Make No Trash and My Give a Damn is Busted. To really put the icing on the white trash cake, she smokes Pall Mall's. She and her children commute to work together but every other month their car gets repossessed so they end up getting a new sh*tty vehicle. No one is sure how they pull that off, what with all the bankruptcies and other bad credit issues. She watches EVERY reality show and wants to talk about them with anyone who will listen and doesn't understand when you tell her that you don't watch whatever it is she's talking about. So You Think You Can Dance is a prime example. The Daughter: She smoked through all 4 of her pregnancies, claiming that her mother smoked when she was pregnant with her and she turned out fine. she lives in a trailer but gets pissed if you call it a trailer because it's on a permanent foundation. She has a tourettes type head twitch and blinking thing going on, kind of like Jose Canseco. Come to think of it, she sort of looks like Canseco. She has no neck; just a head that suddenly becomes shoulders. She is constantly broke but spends every available penny on sending her 2 daughters to beauty pageants and then makes everyone in the company look at the pageant photos. Surprisingly, they have actually won a few. I would hate to see what the rest of the competition looked. We know she has some sort of psychosis because she has to be medicated at all times. If not, she sees and hears shit that isn't there. This has lead to her hiding under her desk screaming and crying. She also has some other medical condition that causes her to always to be on her period. We know this because she makes us uncomfortable by talking about it all the time. Once, her husband showed up at our office and while he was waiting for her, he told us that if he had known how crazy she was he would have never married her, let alone had kids. To boot, she has 4 wiener dogs. One of which, she claims is an attack dog that actually fended off a burglar. It was a very elaborate story that ended with a wiener dog launching himself off of the couch and into the burglar's face drawing blood. No one was apprehended so if you see anyone with the tell-tale signs of wienie dog attack please notify the authorities. The Son: He always has the worst gas known to man. He was inside of a shipping container unloading products with some of our other employees when he kept farting, which ultimately made them all throw up. It was ghastly! While talking to him one day, he stuck his hand down the back of his pants and said watch this. He then stuck his finger under his mom's nose and told her to sniff. He apparently stuck his finger in his ass because his mom threw up. He then repeated the process with his sister before she could be warned. He had to miss a month of work due to a riding lawn mower explosion. He claimed he had been "blowed up". He lives in a trailer on his mom's property but doesn't have electricity so they just run extension cords from her trailer. He had a boil on his arm that was believed to be a staph infection and his mother lanced it with a box cutter. It was disgusting! He had a habit of wrecking our forklift and one day drove it off the loading dock. The forks went into the asphalt about 10 inches and we had to get a special wrecker to come pull it out. A short time after that, he backed into one of the support beams in the warehouse knocking it completely out from under the roof. the beam was at least 30 feet long and it's amazing that no one was injured. Sometimes I would find him sleeping, hidden behind pallets in our warehouse during work hours. Eventually, his sister ratted him out for being drunk on the job all the time, which explained all the forklift mishaps. When confronted by his mother about the drinking, he went crazy and tried to beat her and his sister with a baseball bat. Other employees intervened and we called the cops. He took off on foot and was apprehended later that day, vowing to get even with all of us for calling the cops (his mom didn't want us to call them but what the f*ck ever; he was wielding a bat). Needless to say he doesn't work here anymore. There is so much more but those are just some of the highlights that I can think of off the top of my head. 10. dd4y's coworker frightened newbies with his privates. I worked at a mine in northern Manitoba. One of the old miners was a guy named Jack Bones (not made up). Jack was known for having the largest penis around. Every night when the miners come up from underground, they shower before going home in large open shower rooms. Whenever there was a new rookie working there, Jack would make a point of showering beside him. He would lather up his privates with soap and then proceed to use a huge floor scrubbing brush to scrub his dick, thereby giving himself a huge boner and stand as close as possible to the rookie. On several occasions the guys just never returned. 11. Kryz167's coworker Kurt just wanted to watch the world burn. At my last job we had a couple. I'll go with the one story that translates best to type. So we'll call him Kurt. If Kurt wasn't gay, then he had everyone in the company fooled. No one cared, mind you; it's just an important detail to this story. He was regularly referred to as a b*tch. Kurt was the kind of guy that would pick a "target" and then very openly flirt with that guy for a while. It didn't matter how straight, married, or uninterested you were, Kurt was going to get his flirt on. When my one friend grew a goatee, Kurt went up to him and said something along the lines of "Oo I like this" and stroked his face. Another time my other friend was in the kitchen heating up his lunch when Kurt walked in. I was in earshot of the kitchen so I heard this all going on. First Kurt asks him to get his lunch from the fridge for him. Naturally it's on the bottom shelf and my friend being the unconditionally nice person he is, obliged. I'm already laughing so hard for the blatant and stereotypical office sexual harassment situation, but then Kurt took it to a whole other leveling proving he's a pro. Now he has to explain why he's unable to bend over and get his own lunch. It's because his testicles are swollen to the size of grapefruits. The graphic description is accompanied with hand gestures down by his groin to give a really solid visual. Kurt went on for no less than 5 minutes talking about how big and sensitive his balls are. It was glorious. My poor friend is too nice to just say "Gross dude" and walk away, so he's trying to walk away with lunch in hand without being a dick. By the time he got back to his cube, I had tears in my eyes and my face was red from trying not to laugh out loud. This has set the bar as greatest thing I've seen in a professional environment. 12. corrupted_one is pretty sure their coworker was trolling. I worked with a guy who put up a very small picture on his cubicle wall of a political figure that killed millions of people. A coworker finally noticed it and we all started talking about it, many of us thinking it is similar to having a picture of Hitler. Since we were all mellow programmers, we said fuck it and moved on. But every few weeks or so, he would replace it with a slightly bigger picture than the last. At one point, it was taking up most of the cubicle wall. They guy was a very nice person, so maybe he was just trolling us. 13. obliviious kept track of all Pete's lies. That guy at our place was Pete. He was great, he was a chronic liar, it got so bad we actually started writing down the things he "did". To be fair some of these things happened, but most are things he claims: Pete has a property empire consisting of 24 houses Pete will sell his houses in 10 years and make £1 million Pete is an airline pilot. Pete used to be a courier and made £1000 a week and retired due to stress He used to have a wireless ISP in the south He has a further 36 houses He once beat up someone and the police turned up and thanked him. Pete used to have a Rover 600, the 1.8 litre engine was so powerfull he would regularly win street races with it, It is now sat in a garage in Bristol for when he needs it. Pete was a lorry driver Pete is a volunteer custody inspector for the police. Pete now has 64 houses. Pete once threw a punch at someone, missed, cracked the wall and knocked a brick out. Some kids stole his scooter once, then he found them and broke their knees. He now says he found them in the pub, bought them a drink, so they knew, he knew. Pete spent 10 years as a DJ for Radio Bristol Pete runs a webcam website, describing himself as a porn king euroxxxcams.com. Whenever one of "his girls" cams with someone he makes £3 He used to be Scott Mills PA at real radio Pete is an officially ordained priest He has a class 2 license for lorries, they are apparently very easy to turn Pete belongs to martial arts fight club and has tournament training on Wednesday nights When there was a forum post about blood donations, Pete managed to end the thread with this gem: "I am not sure if I should go. The last time I went they took 1/2 a pint and told me it was being thrown away as it was no good. So I haven't bothered since and that was about 13 years ago." Pete's wife was made redundant from the nursery she worked at. So Pete bought it. Pete once came into work after is karate/fight club championship in ripped a tracksuit from ankle to crotch, he offered to show us how far the rip went. Pete grew up 5 doors down from Tony Robinson. Pete told us the domain name for TNT (the delivery company) was about to expire, he said he nearly got it, but they renewed it before it expired. He said he would sell it back for £1 million. When he was a lorry driver, he killed several students by knocking them down. This was also a well known area for suicidal students who failed their exams. We pointed out to Pete his trousers were falling down. Pete said it was because he had lost 4 stone in the 1 1/2 weeks, but looked exactly the same. An a night shift he was talking all night about he was going to London to visit "his friend" Lacey turner (from east enders). He even "called her" and was heard leaving a voicemail saying "Hi it's my pete lacey love, I'll be there soon" etc... On another night shift Pete was talking about his wife, and ended up talking about how they were splitting up because she couldn't satisfy him sexually. Without fail Pete always downloads a terrabyte of data a month. 14. michfreak will not miss "that guy" at all. Our guy only recently got fired. One of the conclusions we had eventually reached about him was that he was completely incapable of feeling empathy, which is not really the best person to have as your main customer support representative, but that was what he had been hired to be. He was mostly frightening in that position because he never stopped smiling or being cheerful, even if the customer was freaking out at him or he was bored out of his mind. This in itself doesn't call for alarm, but he was a strange dude: On his second week in the office he found out that there weren't any dentists that provide ozone therapists in our city, so he took two days off and drive to a nearby city in order to get his teeth ozoned He would ask "How was your weekend?" in the most interested voice you could imagine, inflection perfect with Tobias Funke asking "How ARE you?" You could tell him, sure, with him exploding into laughter at every event that happened, no matter what it was. If you asked him how his weekend was, he would be extremely sure it was a great weekend, but then wouldn't be able to recall exactly what he did. Ever. After a month of working there he started complaining that our insurance company, which he wouldn't receive benefits for until he had been there for three months, didn't cover his ozone therapy. He kept a steamer-crockpot-thing in the break room and steamed a mixture of carrots and spinach every single morning which he would then eat out of a bowl at around 10am. The smell was atrocious and everyone complained about it the first day he did it, until we found out someone was making that horrible smell on purpose. He called it borscht for unknown reasons, which our Russian salesman nearly flipped out over every time the word came up. He was kind of an idiot when it came to support, as well. We have a support ticket system that handles all of our clients for all of the different services we offer. He actually had copy pasta that he was putting into every single ticket with a lot of idiotic troubleshooting steps that didn't apply to 75% of our clientele. When someone called in to report our support center was down, he asked them to submit a support ticket about it. He overall was a bit of a know-it-all, being very good at selling clients things that they didn't need and would later complain they spent thousands of dollars on. By the time he was fired, clients would call in and immediately ask to be forwarded to sales, even for stupid support issues, just so they wouldn't have to talk to him. He's not as bad as some people's "that guy", but by the time he was fired everyone in the office was being driven up the wall. Our number of support tickets submitted this past month are at 50% of what they were last year, after a steady increase for the rest of the year, and I'm fairly certain it's his fault. EDIT: Another thing that is completely inexcusable. We had, as I stated, a Russian salesperson. Let's say his name was "Boris". Boris had a bit of an accent, but had lived in America for most of his life. He pronounced his name, or at least his name in this parallel example, "Bore-is". Support Guy insisted on it being "Bore-ees". We were all too polite to correct him, but he knew it was wrong. He knew it. Because once, by coincidence, I laughed at something on my computer just after Support Guy said "Boris". Immediately Support Guy says "Oh, I pronounce it that way because that's the proper way to say it." Out of nowhere, he says this. And on the subject of Boris, Support Guy spelled his name "Borris". No idea why. Two Rs. He was corrected every single time. "Sorry, I forgot." Support Guy worked there for seven months. Seven months of too many Rs. 15. Serendipitee remembers to give "that guy" a chance, since some of the best people seem strange to others. I doubt anybody will see this, as late as I am, but I feel compelled to share. Don't discount "that guy" too quickly. An old friend of mine used to share stories about a coworker that would always say and do wildly inappropriate things, much along the lines of the OPs examples and including picking food off said friend's plate in the break room (uninvited, of course). My friend was nice to the guy anyway, despite the annoyances, and considered him a friend. Anyway, long story short, my friend died suddenly one day after he'd quit his job with "that guy" a while back. The guy was on his Facebook friends and ended up producing quite an outpouring of feelings and sympathy with the family and friends of the deceased. He would note every time he drove by my friend's old house or anything, and not obnoxiously, but in a very genuine and caring way. He was very kind and supportive to all of us that were grieving. He obviously was a very caring and friendly individual, just totally socially inept. The moral of the story? Some of those guys are just totally weird, but some are actually really nice people that just don't know how to interact well. Give them a chance and you might make an invaluable friend for life (and death). This guy was far more loyal than the trite "normal" people my friend had worked with, some of which made brief and non-sentimental remarks on his death. "That guy" seemed to be the only one that was really, truly affected by it. tl;dr socially inept nerds have feelings too. 16. dmorin eventually snapped on their know it all coworker. Several jobs ago, we had "know it all guy" who, no matter the context, had a story. This included the time when we were discussing, with some Russian engineers, what it meant to stand in a food line. KnowItAllGuy tried to answer the question. We're all like, dude, when the frick were you in a Russian food line? Shut up and let him answer. Favorite, though, had to be the discussion of where to go for lunch. The discussion included a couple of H1B guys who were quite literally straight over from India. The idea of an Indian restaurant came up. "The food at that place is no good," they said. "Yes it is," said KnowItAllGuy, who I think had been the one that suggested the place. "Not really, no," they said, in that polite way, and suggested other places. KnowItAllGuy dismisses other places. "No, really, this place is the closest to the real authentic Indian food." Finally I had enough and said, "KnowItAllGuy, listen! These guys were just there a month ago. They lived there all their lives! When they say that something is just like Mom used to make, they mean it! We're going to take their opinion on this one." 17. theclassicoversharer will never forget Airika. I was a stripper in an all nude club in West Virginia for 4 years. It was a nice inside. However, it was located behind a truckstop. As you can imagine, that place attracted a large number of "those girls". One of them, my friend and I refer to as "Dumb Airika". ( We had a few friends named Erica at the time and we didn't want anyone to get confused). She had an ok body, but her face looked like a female version of Robert Englund wearing four pounds of blue eyeshadow. And dumb as a box of hair. -Dumb Airika (yes, that's how she spelled it) had the WORST lisp. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was prone to say things like, "I'm thek-thier than her. I'm the thtar of the bar!" I heard that she would tell people outside of work and thought she was a sort of local celebrity. She entered Miss Hawaiian Tropic (a beauty contest that a lot of strippers enter)and came back to work telling everyone she had won, even though the results were listed in the news paper and it was pretty obvious that she didn't win. -She had no idea that being a stripper may not be an acceptable subject with every person that she came into contact. I ran into Dumb Airika at the grocery store while shopping with my mom and she introduced herself as "the Erotic Egthotic Airika". My mom did not know I was a stripper at the time and as a stipper, you should always assume that, when you see a coworker with someone who might be their parent. The next day, airika showed up to work with a decal across the top of her car windshield that said "erotic airika." That's when i really freaked out because it occurred to me that she was able to successfully pass the driver's exam. -Dumb Airika didn't know how to use a tampon. I tried to explain it, using the material provided in the box but was unsuccessful. Because you can't take a week per month off from work, inserting a tampon and learning to tuck in the string is a incredibly important skill to have when working in an all nude club. Anyway, it's pretty normal to have someone check your hoo-ha, right before you go on stage, for any toilet paper remnants, lint, strings, etc. that might glow bright blue in the black light. (That is embarrassing!) She has me check to make sure her string is tucked in one day. She bends over and her tampon string is not out. HALF OF THE TAMPON IS HANGING HALF WAY OUT OF HER VAGINA! And she can't tell if it's showing or not! She was getting called out to dance, so I told her to maybe leave her underwear on for this one as she was walking out on stage. I walk out onto the floor and all the guys were staring at the stage with funny looks on their faces. There she is, first song, legs spread, with her glowing tampon flapping in the breeze. She did that ALL the time. -Another time I tried to talk to her about her tampon issue. It was scaring away customers. She looked me in the eye and said "if they athk me what it ith. I jutht tell them it'th a puthy glowthtick And they believe me. Ain't that great?!" I don't think anyone believed her. Later i found out that she had a twin. 18. Divot437 found out what Bill was like way too quick. 'That guy' was named Bill and here were a few things he did in his first week: Upon finding out a temp was a dancer, says "Oh, you must be part of Alvin Ailey (an African-American dance company in NYC). She was black, so to him there must be no other dance company she would be part of. After hearing I received straight As in my post-grad classes that semester, said "You typical Asian" in front of the Vice Chairman of the company. Asked a pregnant co-worker whether they went through IVF because her husband or her were the one who had the problem in front of about five of us while she was sitting at her cubicle. Like I said, that was his first week. 19. Pepe__Sylvia used to argue with their "guy" but now just lets it be. At my job, "that guy" believes every single conspiracy theory that ever existed. He seems to think that the stranger, more outlandish explanation for anything is often the correct one. 911 was an inside job. We never went to the moon. Free energy exists and is being kept secret by big oil. The government is knowingly poisoning it's soldiers by forcing them to use depleted uranium bullets. He's shown me a youtube video he uploaded of a picture of Saturn where the camera just zooms in on a certain spot where there is a couple of straight lines. He says these lines are evidence that some kind of man made structure has been built there. He discovered this by himself which means he must be meticulously pouring over images of other planets for some sign of life. One of our more recent arguments was about tectonic plates, what causes earthquakes and how continents move over time. He says tectonic plates don't exist and explained to me something called the Expanding Earth theory. Even though this theory is old and has been "rejected by the scientific consensus," he still subscribes to it. I used to argue with the guy often about all his crazy theories but after awhile I realized that you can't really argue with crazy and now I just nod my head and smile. 20. Narmie wishes they knew less about their coworker's sex life. Oh sweet Jesus. This is probably gonna end up buried, but I need to get it off my chest anyway. I used to work at a women's clothing store. One of my first shifts, I was closing with a young supervisor. She seemed okay until the manager left. Then she sat on the floor, took out her phone and started texting people. Whatever. We weren't busy. After about 20 minutes of this, she suddenly stops texting, looks at me, and asks me if I'm 'okay with sexual stuff.' I didn't really know what she meant at first, so I just kind of shrugged and tried to keep myself busy. She asks me again, only the second time she actually elaborates and asks me if I'm okay with talking about sex. (Once again, first time I've EVER MET HER) Being the new girl--I didn't want to rock the boat, so I tell her that yeah, sex talk doesn't bother me (because it doesn't--do I prefer to talk about it with close friends in less of a work environment... yeah. But whatever). Wrong move. As soon as I tell her I'm okay with sex talk, she starts loudly talking about how she recently had sex with a friend of hers, and now she has Chlamydia. This was her favorite topic of discussion for the next four weeks or so. Her chlamydia. She made it total common knowledge. She even told some of our customers--which two of us found out one afternoon when an older woman approached us and asked us if we could help her instead because 'that girl over there won't stop talking about her STDs.'