News

<p>Have you ever had a crush so intense and embarrassing that it inspired you to lie in order to seem more impressive? If so, you already know how hilarious and humiliating it can be to look back on the antics of young infatuation.</p><p>While peddling a fancy lie often sounds more alluring than being honest about your flaws or vulnerabilities, it will inevitably backfire when the truth comes out.</p><h2>In <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/hi06c/reddit_what_are_your_worst_lies_used_to_impress_a/" target="_blank">a popular Reddit thread</a>, people shared the worst lies they used to impress a crush, and it&#39;ll make you feel better about your past fibs.</h2><h2>1. From OP:</h2><blockquote> <p>Mine was when I was about 12-13, and a friend told me he came for the first time last night and was damn proud about it. Because c*mming is a manly thing, I thought I&#39;d use that story to impress this girl I was head over heels in love with. I casually walked up to her and said</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;OMG I spermed this morning!&quot; (13 y/o talk remember) &quot;Did you?? Wow that&#39;s cool what did it feel like?&quot; &quot;Nothing special. I just went for my morning pee and all of a sudden it was all white....&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>She burst out with laughter and told me that&#39;s <em>not</em> how it happens, told all of her sl*tty friends and I became the laughing stock of the whole school until the end of term. Lesson learnt!</p> </blockquote><h2>2. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/justpat/">justpat</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I went on a booze cruise which was a fundraiser for a local hospital where my friend was a technician. They were selling &quot;Hospital Staff&quot; sweatshirts as part of the fundraiser, and I bought one. For most of the night girls ignored me. Then it got cold and I put the sweatshirt on. It was like turning on a bug light - girls swarmed around me and asked if I was a doctor! For the rest of the night I kept taking the sweatshirt on and off, trying out new personae and medical specialties, and gauging the reaction with each new group of women.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Yes, I&#39;m a pediatrician. I love children.&quot; = they melt instantly</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>&quot;Yes, I&#39;m a virologist, specializing in African blood diseases.&quot; = their eyes glaze over and they leave</p> <p>&quot;Yes, I&#39;m a plastic surgeon&quot; = KA-CHING!!!!! Plus, hard nipples.</p> <p>&quot;Yes, I&#39;m a proctologist.&quot; = their eyes glaze over and they leave, OR they want to talk about their own history of rectal bleeding, in which case my eyes glaze over and I leave</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Yes, I&#39;m an orthopedist, since I&#39;m obviously not a jock, ha ha.&quot; - their eyes glaze over and they leave</p> <p>&quot;Yes, I&#39;m a gynecologist. But I&#39;m off duty now.&quot; - giggles</p> </blockquote><h2>3. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/emaG_ehT/">emaG_ehT</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I went out in sunglasses and managed to convince a bunch of girls I was blind. Blind guys get all the p*ssy! I almost burst out laughing when I asked if I could feel their faces and proceeded to tell them they &#39;felt beautiful&#39;.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/M_Me_Meteo/">M_Me_Meteo</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>My friend used to tell girls that he had an incredibly small p*nis, when in reality it was safely average.</p> <p>The lie itself didn&#39;t impress girls, but then when they saw his p*nis, they were impressed.</p> </blockquote><h2>5. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/rabbitsnake/">rabbitsnake</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I told a drunk bridesmaid at a co-worker&#39;s wedding that I was the heir to the Carl&#39;s Jr fortune. Sadly, she didn&#39;t know what that was.</p> </blockquote><h2>6. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/leftnut/">leftnut</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I told a girl that I had a friend in the circus, and that he taught me to blow fireballs. If she wanted to check it out I had all the stuff at my place, and I&#39;d show her. We were both pretty drunk, so I figured I&#39;d just change the subject and show her my etchings once home. On the walk back, she was super excited about seeing the fireball, and I realized I was in trouble.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Once home, I excused myself to the bathroom, and looked up a quick guide to blowing fireballs. I work in a lab, so I have a bottle of borrowed ethanol in the medicine cabinet. I lit up a wick and blew a cloud of 200 proof ethanol through it. Massive fireball. IT WAS F**KING AWESOME. No collateral damage. She was hugely impressed, and stayed the night. The only bad part was hooking up with her with minimal feeling in my mouth, since pure ethanol numbs the mouth like crazy. Sorry if this is incoherent. I&#39;m operating on maybe 3 hours of sleep.</p> <p>TL;DR Told a girl I could blow fireballs. Succeeded.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TackyOnBeans/">TackyOnBeans</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I used to tell people that I played &quot;Harry Takanawa&quot; from Full House. He was Stephanie&#39;s boyfriend in an episode and was in another episode or two.</p> <p>I made up this fabrication to start conversations with girls and was hilarious to go into details about how awesomely lewd Bob Saget was. I had my story down pat and no one picked up my devious guile.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>All of it went perfectly according to plan until I visited my friend at Santa Clara University and used this story. Turns out I was called out pretty immediately because the kid actually went to school there.</p> <p>Suffice it say, I did not get laid that night.</p> </blockquote><h2>8. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/redfiftyfive/">redfiftyfive</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>The most <em>effective</em> lie I&#39;ve ever told was that I was the drummer for Panic at the Disco.</p> </blockquote><h2>9. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/shotsx3/">shotsx3</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>Coworker and I were doing some traveling for a client; doing cut overs and sh**t. Anywho, we got done Saturday early and decided to go out and get hammered drunk in Rockford, IL. Not sure if anyone knows how big of a hell hole that place is, but it sucks. We found a pretty cool bar though and started doing copious amounts of shots.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>We were having a good time, buying shots for a few girls, and then my coworker started chatting with a few of them saying how we were from out of town and we didn&#39;t know anything about Rockford. They were pretty cool and receptive so we continued with the work-funded shot buying.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>They asked what we were in town for, and we went on this long tangent about how we are scientists studying the effects of windmills on birds and their migratory patterns. You should have seen the look on their faces. Priceless. But we f**king sold it. It was outstanding.</p> </blockquote><h2>10. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/icehouse_lover/">icehouse_lover</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>When I first graduated college, I was at a bar trying to hit on a girl by telling her how I was an engineer. She asked what I had made so I asked her if she ever heard of the internet. She wanted nothing to do with me anyways, so she just gave me a deadpan &#39;no&#39;. Not to be dissuaded, I responded with &quot;Okay. Have you ever heard of the automobile?&quot; She did laugh at that, and then excused herself.</p> <p>Protip: &#39;I&#39;m an engineer&#39; rarely impresses the ladies.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Samahan/">Samahan</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>A friend of mine convinced a girl he was one of the orcs in Lord of the Rings. He even went so far as to get her to watch it with him and point himself out to her.</p> </blockquote><h2>12. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/storatora/">storatora</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Me and my last boyfriend broke up because I wanted too much sex.&quot; So... yea... he was &#39;impressed&#39; alright.</p> </blockquote><h2>13. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/felixjmorgan/">felixjmorgan</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>Two of my friends and I once convinced a group of girls at a bar that we were world board game champions.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>The backstory was that we had met in Korea at the WBGC&#39;s (World Board Game Championships) at the after party, where we had been celebrating our victories in the various disciplines. I was the world Scrabble champion, and I was partnered with the world Boggle and Monopoly champions.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We had moved back to the UK to concentrate on our gaming, and this was our last night out before we went into 2 months intensive training for our next tournament, in LA.</p> <p>I lost a bit of faith in humanity when the girls swallowed it all up, without even a hint of suspicion.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Enganeer/">Enganeer</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>Best lie I still tell:</p> <p>I grew up in Alaska, and a common question is &quot;where are you from?&quot; So I answer honestly and usually the same questions follow.</p> <p>&quot;Is is light all the time and then dark?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;How cold does it get?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;What are polar bears like?&quot;</p> <p>I hear all that s**t and answer honestly, then eventually they get to &quot;What did you do in Alaska?&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>My reply has been, penguin ranching. Then the game starts, how long can I convince them that I ranched penguins, &quot;Ya, they are not native, we imported them originally from the south pole.&quot; &quot;There is a huge market for the meat and the eggs in Asia.&quot; &quot;We usually kept a few hundred birds, we where a small farm.&quot; Fill in enough &quot;facts&quot; and they usually fall for it until I start laughing, then the game ends.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/bigbabyjeeze/">bigbabyjeeze</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I once told a girl I was a puppeteer on a pretty obscure Canadian kids show (Wimzie&#39;s House). I have no idea why I thought of this particular lie, or why it would impress anyone, but it worked like a charm.</p> </blockquote><h2>16. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/whitefoot/">whitefoot</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>My brother once convinced a couple girls that he was in the banana bending industry. He told them that bananas grew straight on the tree but were bent by hand to make them easier to package and ship.</p> </blockquote><h2>17. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/warpus/">warpus</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I&#39;m a virgin, but had sex in a past life, so you get the best of both worlds.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>18. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/YouveBeenOneUpped/">YouveBeenOneUpped</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>My roommate convinced a girl he was a hand model. Yes, like in Zoolander. And she fell for it.</p> </blockquote><h2>19. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/phil_dunphy/">phil_dunphy</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>I said I was a Falconer.</p> </blockquote><h2>20. From <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Byaaah/">Byaaah</a>:</h2><blockquote> <p>Sometimes I mess with people and say I grew up in Hawaii and Alaska, my parents are whale biologists and we follow the mirgant whales. People eat that one up.</p> <p>Other times I will wear clothes I&#39;ve gotten from different countries traveling abroad and try to mimic their accents in America and question a lot of the thing I don&#39;t like about this country.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

20 people share the worst lie they've told to impress someone they were attracted to.

Have you ever had a crush so intense and embarrassing that it inspired you to lie in order to seem more impressive? If so, you already know how hilarious and humiliating it can be to look back on the antics of young infatuation.While peddling a fancy lie often sounds more alluring than being honest about your flaws or vulnerabilities, it will inevitably backfire when the truth comes out.In a popular Reddit thread, people shared the worst lies they used to impress a crush, and it&#39;ll make you feel better about your past fibs.1. From OP: Mine was when I was about 12-13, and a friend told me he came for the first time last night and was damn proud about it. Because c*mming is a manly thing, I thought I&#39;d use that story to impress this girl I was head over heels in love with. I casually walked up to her and said  &quot;OMG I spermed this morning!&quot; (13 y/o talk remember) &quot;Did you?? Wow that&#39;s cool what did it feel like?&quot; &quot;Nothing special. I just went for my morning pee and all of a sudden it was all white....&quot;  She burst out with laughter and told me that&#39;s not how it happens, told all of her sl*tty friends and I became the laughing stock of the whole school until the end of term. Lesson learnt! 2. From justpat: I went on a booze cruise which was a fundraiser for a local hospital where my friend was a technician. They were selling &quot;Hospital Staff&quot; sweatshirts as part of the fundraiser, and I bought one. For most of the night girls ignored me. Then it got cold and I put the sweatshirt on. It was like turning on a bug light - girls swarmed around me and asked if I was a doctor! For the rest of the night I kept taking the sweatshirt on and off, trying out new personae and medical specialties, and gauging the reaction with each new group of women.  &quot;Yes, I&#39;m a pediatrician. I love children.&quot; = they melt instantly  &quot;Yes, I&#39;m a virologist, specializing in African blood diseases.&quot; = their eyes glaze over and they leave &quot;Yes, I&#39;m a plastic surgeon&quot; = KA-CHING!!!!! Plus, hard nipples. &quot;Yes, I&#39;m a proctologist.&quot; = their eyes glaze over and they leave, OR they want to talk about their own history of rectal bleeding, in which case my eyes glaze over and I leave  &quot;Yes, I&#39;m an orthopedist, since I&#39;m obviously not a jock, ha ha.&quot; - their eyes glaze over and they leave &quot;Yes, I&#39;m a gynecologist. But I&#39;m off duty now.&quot; - giggles 3. From emaG_ehT: I went out in sunglasses and managed to convince a bunch of girls I was blind. Blind guys get all the p*ssy! I almost burst out laughing when I asked if I could feel their faces and proceeded to tell them they &#39;felt beautiful&#39;. 4. From M_Me_Meteo: My friend used to tell girls that he had an incredibly small p*nis, when in reality it was safely average. The lie itself didn&#39;t impress girls, but then when they saw his p*nis, they were impressed. 5. From rabbitsnake: I told a drunk bridesmaid at a co-worker&#39;s wedding that I was the heir to the Carl&#39;s Jr fortune. Sadly, she didn&#39;t know what that was. 6. From leftnut: I told a girl that I had a friend in the circus, and that he taught me to blow fireballs. If she wanted to check it out I had all the stuff at my place, and I&#39;d show her. We were both pretty drunk, so I figured I&#39;d just change the subject and show her my etchings once home. On the walk back, she was super excited about seeing the fireball, and I realized I was in trouble.  Once home, I excused myself to the bathroom, and looked up a quick guide to blowing fireballs. I work in a lab, so I have a bottle of borrowed ethanol in the medicine cabinet. I lit up a wick and blew a cloud of 200 proof ethanol through it. Massive fireball. IT WAS F**KING AWESOME. No collateral damage. She was hugely impressed, and stayed the night. The only bad part was hooking up with her with minimal feeling in my mouth, since pure ethanol numbs the mouth like crazy. Sorry if this is incoherent. I&#39;m operating on maybe 3 hours of sleep. TL;DR Told a girl I could blow fireballs. Succeeded. 7. From TackyOnBeans: I used to tell people that I played &quot;Harry Takanawa&quot; from Full House. He was Stephanie&#39;s boyfriend in an episode and was in another episode or two. I made up this fabrication to start conversations with girls and was hilarious to go into details about how awesomely lewd Bob Saget was. I had my story down pat and no one picked up my devious guile.  All of it went perfectly according to plan until I visited my friend at Santa Clara University and used this story. Turns out I was called out pretty immediately because the kid actually went to school there. Suffice it say, I did not get laid that night. 8. From redfiftyfive: The most effective lie I&#39;ve ever told was that I was the drummer for Panic at the Disco. 9. From shotsx3: Coworker and I were doing some traveling for a client; doing cut overs and sh**t. Anywho, we got done Saturday early and decided to go out and get hammered drunk in Rockford, IL. Not sure if anyone knows how big of a hell hole that place is, but it sucks. We found a pretty cool bar though and started doing copious amounts of shots.  We were having a good time, buying shots for a few girls, and then my coworker started chatting with a few of them saying how we were from out of town and we didn&#39;t know anything about Rockford. They were pretty cool and receptive so we continued with the work-funded shot buying.  They asked what we were in town for, and we went on this long tangent about how we are scientists studying the effects of windmills on birds and their migratory patterns. You should have seen the look on their faces. Priceless. But we f**king sold it. It was outstanding. 10. From icehouse_lover: When I first graduated college, I was at a bar trying to hit on a girl by telling her how I was an engineer. She asked what I had made so I asked her if she ever heard of the internet. She wanted nothing to do with me anyways, so she just gave me a deadpan &#39;no&#39;. Not to be dissuaded, I responded with &quot;Okay. Have you ever heard of the automobile?&quot; She did laugh at that, and then excused herself. Protip: &#39;I&#39;m an engineer&#39; rarely impresses the ladies. 11. From Samahan: A friend of mine convinced a girl he was one of the orcs in Lord of the Rings. He even went so far as to get her to watch it with him and point himself out to her. 12. From storatora: &quot;Me and my last boyfriend broke up because I wanted too much sex.&quot; So... yea... he was &#39;impressed&#39; alright. 13. From felixjmorgan: Two of my friends and I once convinced a group of girls at a bar that we were world board game champions.  The backstory was that we had met in Korea at the WBGC&#39;s (World Board Game Championships) at the after party, where we had been celebrating our victories in the various disciplines. I was the world Scrabble champion, and I was partnered with the world Boggle and Monopoly champions.  We had moved back to the UK to concentrate on our gaming, and this was our last night out before we went into 2 months intensive training for our next tournament, in LA. I lost a bit of faith in humanity when the girls swallowed it all up, without even a hint of suspicion. 14. From Enganeer: Best lie I still tell: I grew up in Alaska, and a common question is &quot;where are you from?&quot; So I answer honestly and usually the same questions follow. &quot;Is is light all the time and then dark?&quot; &quot;How cold does it get?&quot; &quot;What are polar bears like?&quot; I hear all that s**t and answer honestly, then eventually they get to &quot;What did you do in Alaska?&quot;  My reply has been, penguin ranching. Then the game starts, how long can I convince them that I ranched penguins, &quot;Ya, they are not native, we imported them originally from the south pole.&quot; &quot;There is a huge market for the meat and the eggs in Asia.&quot; &quot;We usually kept a few hundred birds, we where a small farm.&quot; Fill in enough &quot;facts&quot; and they usually fall for it until I start laughing, then the game ends. 15. From bigbabyjeeze: I once told a girl I was a puppeteer on a pretty obscure Canadian kids show (Wimzie&#39;s House). I have no idea why I thought of this particular lie, or why it would impress anyone, but it worked like a charm. 16. From whitefoot: My brother once convinced a couple girls that he was in the banana bending industry. He told them that bananas grew straight on the tree but were bent by hand to make them easier to package and ship. 17. From warpus: &quot;I&#39;m a virgin, but had sex in a past life, so you get the best of both worlds.&quot; 18. From YouveBeenOneUpped: My roommate convinced a girl he was a hand model. Yes, like in Zoolander. And she fell for it. 19. From phil_dunphy: I said I was a Falconer. 20. From Byaaah: Sometimes I mess with people and say I grew up in Hawaii and Alaska, my parents are whale biologists and we follow the mirgant whales. People eat that one up. Other times I will wear clothes I&#39;ve gotten from different countries traveling abroad and try to mimic their accents in America and question a lot of the thing I don&#39;t like about this country. 