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<h2>We all have a story we assume we must take to the grave, even if it&#39;s as innocent as being the one who actually ruined the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving 22 years ago...</h2><p>Sorry Uncle Jake, but it was me the whole time that broke that vintage vase in the museum! Whether it&#39;s a childhood secret or a cringe-worthy shameful tale you just can&#39;t trust anyone else knowing, we all have at least one memory that jerks us up from a peaceful slumber at 3 AM.</p><p>So, when a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/s8ovtk/whats_your_dirty_lil_secret/">Reddit </a>user asked, &quot;What&rsquo;s your dirty lil secret?&quot; people were ready to share the dark, hilarious, or embarrassing little secrets they&#39;ve been keeping quietly for years.</p><h2>1.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I was about 8, I was in a supermarket with my mum and she had to use the bathroom. I was sat on the bench outside waiting and there was one of those &ldquo;press to break glass&rdquo; fire alarms on the wall. I wanted to know how hard you had to press it&hellip; not very hard as it turns out.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The whole store had to leave their shopping and go outside, well over 100 people. Not sure what happened after that because we just went home.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>It&rsquo;s been 20 years and I&rsquo;ve still never told anyone. - General-Ad-9753</p> </blockquote><h2>2.</h2><blockquote> <p>I was 10 and lonely. My parents had been working day and night to get their start up business off the ground. It was the classic latch key child scenario. As they say, idle hands are the devil&rsquo;s workshop.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>So after several months of spending my afternoons alone with microwave burritos and Transformers cartoons, I decided to diversify my entertainment selection. I proceeded to ransack the entire office, making it appear that a person had broken in and rummaged for money. I broke a window, two lamps, smashed the legs off a chair and pulled every file from the cabinets and tossed them around the room like confetti.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I then called my mother and told her I&rsquo;d just gotten home and found the place burglarized. She told me to get out of the house, and called 911 on her way home. The cops arrived with their sirens blaring at about the same time she rolled up. They stormed the house with guns drawn, screaming come out with your hands up!</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>When I saw them going all Delta force through my front door I knew that I had probably gone a little too far this time. Long story short, a detective came to take a report after the patrol cops had cleared the premises. As I was sitting on my living room sofa, surrounded by the tattered remains of my dirty work, the detective looked me dead in the eyes and said there was no break in was there?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The man looked right into my soul and knew the truth. And I knew he knew so lying was pointless. I burst into tears and started blubbering. He walked over, put his hand on my shoulder and said it&rsquo;ll be alright. Thankfully, I was young enough to escape any criminal charges.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>My parents weren&rsquo;t too harsh with their punishment either. I guess they figured it was more a cry for help than the actions of a burgeoning sociopath. For the next couple of years they made sure someone was always home with me. Or they made sure I was signed up for an after school program.. - koushakandystore</p> </blockquote><h2>3.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;d only just begun paying off a vehicle loan in mid 1999. My January payment was returned with the bank saying it was paid off. Not even close. Thanks Y2K. - antmakka</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><blockquote> <p>I have been hiding the Milano cookies in an empty quaker oats container. Sorry family. - beachlover77</p> </blockquote><h2>5.</h2><blockquote> <p>I got an $8,000 dollar scholarship, due to a clerical error, for having above a 3.7 GPA all semester but my GPA was actually 3.07 - NoEyeO_O</p> </blockquote><h2>6.</h2><blockquote> <p>I was supposed to map the coordinates of our class&rsquo; buried time capsule in 1979 and did not do it. - newleafkratom</p> </blockquote><h2>7.</h2><blockquote> <p>One time when I was like 5-9 years old my dad was shopping around at a lumber store. I wandered around alone and couldn&rsquo;t find a bathroom. I had to pee so bad. So I just found a secluded back corner behind some wood and pissed on the floor. 30 years later I still drive by that place every day and remember. -Wick3d3nd3r</p> </blockquote><h2>8.</h2><blockquote> <p>All my work can be done on my cellphone and I lay in bed most mornings until noon. - Pencilowner</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9.</h2><blockquote> <p>I never wrote my 7th grade science paper on Dysentery, and when my teacher asked me if I turned it in, I said yes.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She looked through all of the papers and stacks of paperwork on her very crowded desk, and she said she &quot;knew she saw it there somewhere.&quot; I got a B for a paper I never wrote. Sorry Ms. Weber. - BBQinfool</p> </blockquote><h2>10.</h2><blockquote> <p>When our phone was disconnected (1990&#39;s) for non-payment, I dialed 911 to see if they would still pickup (they did) but I hung up right away. Ten minutes later the cops showed up at my door, and I blamed it on the kids. - cartoonassasin</p> </blockquote><h2>11.</h2><blockquote> <p>Back in the day, my drunk friend wanted to do more shots of vodka, but put water in the shot glasses for her. She said that she couldn&rsquo;t taste anything. I told her that after a while, her taste buds are messed up because she had too much to drink, but here ya go! Bottoms up! - Watery-Mustard</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m not that good at IT, I can google like no other. - lubbz</p> </blockquote><h2>13.</h2><blockquote> <p>In senior year of HS, I put a milk carton in the ceiling of a portable building right before spring break. When we came back from spring break, the classroom smelled like a rotting corpse. Some other kid that was a known prankster somehow got blamed and was suspended. - carpetgazer</p> </blockquote><h2>14.</h2><blockquote> <p>It wasn&rsquo;t raccoons that spilled that paint in the garage in 1993. It was me. - Sh*tStuckInYourTeeth</p> </blockquote><h2>15.</h2><blockquote> <p>In high school I paid someone online with RuneScape gold to do my entire math Summer school class. I generated that gold with a bot I programmed. - Mrbeezkneez</p> </blockquote><h2>16.</h2><blockquote> <p>I am a horrible reader, yet I&#39;m a writer. - DocDavreil</p> </blockquote><h2>17.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I was in high school, i failed second semester of biology. So here comes the next year and i have to retake it. Again, I pass first semester but fail second semester which means retaking the entire class.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Well, I transferred schools after that. When I was getting all my transfer information looked over in the office at the new school, the woman noticed i had two passed first semesters but never passed a full class.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I said &ldquo;passing two semesters is KINDA like the full class&rdquo;, she winked, and that was that. no more bio.</p> <p>so I guess it&rsquo;s OUR dirty little secret. - illitior3</p> </blockquote><h2>18.</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a college dropout who makes a fantastic living basically driving a go kart at an airport. - dreamerrz</p> </blockquote><h2>19.</h2><blockquote> <p>I failed my electrical design class in college but work at an electrical utility company as a designer. - Eledesigner</p> </blockquote><h2>20.</h2><blockquote> <p>One time when I was 10-12 ish, I told a group of friends that I brushed my teeth with hot water instead of cold water (our cultural norm) just to seem quirky or cool, and man did it get the reaction I was hoping for.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>However, it was all a lie. I did brush with cold water. And this lie was too heavy for my pre-teen soul, so every day since then I have brushed my teeth with hot water, despite being 15 years older. I feel trapped in my hot teeth scrubbing sentence yet it feels right as a punishment for lying. - MightTOne</p> </blockquote><h2>21.</h2><blockquote> <p>The CEO of the company is a micromanager who wants to make even the tiniest decisions.</p> <p>He has a coffee mug with the text: Rule 1: I am always right Rule 2: When not, see rule 1.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>It might be a joke, but I feel it&#39;s a constant subliminal message he sends himself. So, I hid the mug a couple of months ago.</p> <p>I just left the company last week, and did not return the mug. - Ultra-Pulse</p> </blockquote><h2>22.</h2><blockquote> <p>I just graduated school and got a job at a big company in engineering. I spend a lot of time each day looking at memes, watching YouTube videos, etc&hellip; sometimes I do work.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>They&rsquo;ve told me I&rsquo;m doing a good job so far. - Laustintranslation1</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

21 people anonymously reveal a 'dirty little secret' they've been keeping for years.

We all have a story we assume we must take to the grave, even if it&#39;s as innocent as being the one who actually ruined the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving 22 years ago...Sorry Uncle Jake, but it was me the whole time that broke that vintage vase in the museum! Whether it&#39;s a childhood secret or a cringe-worthy shameful tale you just can&#39;t trust anyone else knowing, we all have at least one memory that jerks us up from a peaceful slumber at 3 AM.So, when a Reddit user asked, &quot;What&rsquo;s your dirty lil secret?&quot; people were ready to share the dark, hilarious, or embarrassing little secrets they&#39;ve been keeping quietly for years.1. When I was about 8, I was in a supermarket with my mum and she had to use the bathroom. I was sat on the bench outside waiting and there was one of those &ldquo;press to break glass&rdquo; fire alarms on the wall. I wanted to know how hard you had to press it&hellip; not very hard as it turns out.   The whole store had to leave their shopping and go outside, well over 100 people. Not sure what happened after that because we just went home.   It&rsquo;s been 20 years and I&rsquo;ve still never told anyone. - General-Ad-9753 2. I was 10 and lonely. My parents had been working day and night to get their start up business off the ground. It was the classic latch key child scenario. As they say, idle hands are the devil&rsquo;s workshop.   So after several months of spending my afternoons alone with microwave burritos and Transformers cartoons, I decided to diversify my entertainment selection. I proceeded to ransack the entire office, making it appear that a person had broken in and rummaged for money. I broke a window, two lamps, smashed the legs off a chair and pulled every file from the cabinets and tossed them around the room like confetti.   I then called my mother and told her I&rsquo;d just gotten home and found the place burglarized. She told me to get out of the house, and called 911 on her way home. The cops arrived with their sirens blaring at about the same time she rolled up. They stormed the house with guns drawn, screaming come out with your hands up!   When I saw them going all Delta force through my front door I knew that I had probably gone a little too far this time. Long story short, a detective came to take a report after the patrol cops had cleared the premises. As I was sitting on my living room sofa, surrounded by the tattered remains of my dirty work, the detective looked me dead in the eyes and said there was no break in was there?   The man looked right into my soul and knew the truth. And I knew he knew so lying was pointless. I burst into tears and started blubbering. He walked over, put his hand on my shoulder and said it&rsquo;ll be alright. Thankfully, I was young enough to escape any criminal charges.   My parents weren&rsquo;t too harsh with their punishment either. I guess they figured it was more a cry for help than the actions of a burgeoning sociopath. For the next couple of years they made sure someone was always home with me. Or they made sure I was signed up for an after school program.. - koushakandystore 3. I&rsquo;d only just begun paying off a vehicle loan in mid 1999. My January payment was returned with the bank saying it was paid off. Not even close. Thanks Y2K. - antmakka 4. I have been hiding the Milano cookies in an empty quaker oats container. Sorry family. - beachlover77 5. I got an $8,000 dollar scholarship, due to a clerical error, for having above a 3.7 GPA all semester but my GPA was actually 3.07 - NoEyeO_O 6. I was supposed to map the coordinates of our class&rsquo; buried time capsule in 1979 and did not do it. - newleafkratom 7. One time when I was like 5-9 years old my dad was shopping around at a lumber store. I wandered around alone and couldn&rsquo;t find a bathroom. I had to pee so bad. So I just found a secluded back corner behind some wood and pissed on the floor. 30 years later I still drive by that place every day and remember. -Wick3d3nd3r 8. All my work can be done on my cellphone and I lay in bed most mornings until noon. - Pencilowner 9. I never wrote my 7th grade science paper on Dysentery, and when my teacher asked me if I turned it in, I said yes.  She looked through all of the papers and stacks of paperwork on her very crowded desk, and she said she &quot;knew she saw it there somewhere.&quot; I got a B for a paper I never wrote. Sorry Ms. Weber. - BBQinfool 10. When our phone was disconnected (1990&#39;s) for non-payment, I dialed 911 to see if they would still pickup (they did) but I hung up right away. Ten minutes later the cops showed up at my door, and I blamed it on the kids. - cartoonassasin 11. Back in the day, my drunk friend wanted to do more shots of vodka, but put water in the shot glasses for her. She said that she couldn&rsquo;t taste anything. I told her that after a while, her taste buds are messed up because she had too much to drink, but here ya go! Bottoms up! - Watery-Mustard 12. I&rsquo;m not that good at IT, I can google like no other. - lubbz 13. In senior year of HS, I put a milk carton in the ceiling of a portable building right before spring break. When we came back from spring break, the classroom smelled like a rotting corpse. Some other kid that was a known prankster somehow got blamed and was suspended. - carpetgazer 14. It wasn&rsquo;t raccoons that spilled that paint in the garage in 1993. It was me. - Sh*tStuckInYourTeeth 15. In high school I paid someone online with RuneScape gold to do my entire math Summer school class. I generated that gold with a bot I programmed. - Mrbeezkneez 16. I am a horrible reader, yet I&#39;m a writer. - DocDavreil 17. When I was in high school, i failed second semester of biology. So here comes the next year and i have to retake it. Again, I pass first semester but fail second semester which means retaking the entire class.   Well, I transferred schools after that. When I was getting all my transfer information looked over in the office at the new school, the woman noticed i had two passed first semesters but never passed a full class.   I said &ldquo;passing two semesters is KINDA like the full class&rdquo;, she winked, and that was that. no more bio. so I guess it&rsquo;s OUR dirty little secret. - illitior3 18. I&#39;m a college dropout who makes a fantastic living basically driving a go kart at an airport. - dreamerrz 19. I failed my electrical design class in college but work at an electrical utility company as a designer. - Eledesigner 20. One time when I was 10-12 ish, I told a group of friends that I brushed my teeth with hot water instead of cold water (our cultural norm) just to seem quirky or cool, and man did it get the reaction I was hoping for.  However, it was all a lie. I did brush with cold water. And this lie was too heavy for my pre-teen soul, so every day since then I have brushed my teeth with hot water, despite being 15 years older. I feel trapped in my hot teeth scrubbing sentence yet it feels right as a punishment for lying. - MightTOne 21. The CEO of the company is a micromanager who wants to make even the tiniest decisions. He has a coffee mug with the text: Rule 1: I am always right Rule 2: When not, see rule 1.  It might be a joke, but I feel it&#39;s a constant subliminal message he sends himself. So, I hid the mug a couple of months ago. I just left the company last week, and did not return the mug. - Ultra-Pulse 22. I just graduated school and got a job at a big company in engineering. I spend a lot of time each day looking at memes, watching YouTube videos, etc&hellip; sometimes I do work.   They&rsquo;ve told me I&rsquo;m doing a good job so far. - Laustintranslation1 

We all have a story we assume we must take to the grave, even if it&#39;s as innocent as being the one who actually ruined the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving 22 years ago...  Sorry Uncle Jake, but it was me the whole time that broke that...