5. Billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, because he finally got arrested—and a Trump cabinet member can't save him this time. Epstein in 2006, the first time he got caught. Palm Beach Sheriff's OfficeThe big news of the weekend—other than Megan Rapinoe being anointed president—was the arrest of Jeffrey Epstein, a notorious pedophile with friends in the highest of places.The former hedge fund manager has been accused of sexually abusing and trafficking dozens of teenage girls over decades. He was arrested at Teterboro Airport in New Jersey on Saturday after flying in from Paris, and was indicted and charged today with one count of sex trafficking and one count of sex trafficking conspiracy.Epstein used his money and connections to evade justice for decades (sound familiar?). He received a mere slap on the wrist for conducting an alleged pyramid scheme in which he lured young girls to his Florida mansion, sexually abused them, and had them recruit more teenagers for abuse. An award-winning investigation in The Miami Herald revealed how Epstein's lawyers, including Kenneth Starr (from The Starr Report) and Alan Dershowitz (former OJ defenseman, current Trump shill) struck a sweetheart deal with then-US Attorney Alexander Acosta, who now serves as Donald Trump's Secretary of Labor. A judge said that Secretary Acosta broke the law in failing to inform Epstein's victims that a deal was made.The labor secretary is tasked with combating human trafficking.In 2002, President Donald Trump called Epstein "a terrific guy," and mentioned their shared passion for sexual predation.Just gonna leave this here... #Epstein #Trump #EpsteinTrump pic.twitter.com/NlTH3nBSp8— Deanna Prine (@deannaprine) July 7, 2019 "It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side," Trump told New York Magazine. 4. Bill Clinton, because he has been linked to Epstein's pedophile sex jet. Creeps are a bipartisan issue. ShutterstockEpstein has been linked to Trump, who is currently president, and also to Bill Clinton, who is not the president right now.In 2015, Gawker (RIP) published the flight logs for Epstein's private plane, which had an even worse nickname than "sex jet": Bill Clinton took repeated trips on the " Lolita Express"—the private passenger jet owned by billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein—with an actress in softcore porn movies whose name appears in Epstein's address book under an entry for "massages," according to flight logbooks obtained by Gawker and published today for the first time. The logs also show that Clinton shared more than a dozen flights with a woman who federal prosecutors believe procured underage girls to sexually service Epstein and his friends and acted as a "potential co-conspirator" in his crimes. The Epstein arrest put the spotlight on the former president, who much like the current president, has been accused of rape. MAGA heads insist that liberals are defending Bill, but most people on the left say "lock him up!"https://twitter.com/jackallisonLOL/status/1147746623230865409Here’s Ghislaine Maxwell, by many accounts Jeffrey Epstein’s “pimp” and “groomer of girls” at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding. pic.twitter.com/leBUwqoWnT— Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) July 7, 2019 Now let’s incorporate both melodies for the grand finale of the symphony of creeps... pic.twitter.com/SL4TButyNx— Adam McKay (@GhostPanther) July 7, 2019 To the Trumpists in my feed saying WhAt AbOuT BiLL CLiNtOn?! re: Epstein. If Bill was part of it, he can go, too! Unlike the GOP, Dems want sexual predators to face consequences, regardless of party affiliation, because we actually have a moral compass.— Elizabeth Spiers (@espiers) July 7, 2019 Bye!!!!!!!!3. The Slovenian chainsaw artist who made the statue of Melania Trump that everybody hates. Nobody does it better than her plastic surgeon. ShutterstockMelania Trump's hometown of hell Sevnica, Slovenia erected a statue to honor the First Lady, and it looks like somebody took a chainsaw to a tree—because that's exactly what they did.The US first lady has been honoured with a life-size, wooden sculpture near her hometown Sevnica in south-east Slovenia - but locals are not happy https://t.co/RP6B63PtID— ITV News (@itvnews) July 5, 2019 Blue collar pipe layer and amateur woodworker Ales "Maxi" Zupevc was commissioned by an American artist Brad Downey to capture the likeness of the concentration camp spokeswoman, violently yet elegantly recreating her inauguration outfit.They look like twins !! 😂.Melania must be so proud of this statue. pic.twitter.com/8BWdC0OEeJ— Brynt (@JohnBrynt) July 6, 2019 Slovenian locals are not pleased with having to look at this terrifying totem."We in Sevnica can only laugh and, at the same time, hold our heads in our hands over (the Trumps') catastrophic reputation,” a local, 24-year-old female architecture student told Agence France-Presse. "If the monument was meant to be a parody, then the artist has been successful.""It doesn’t look anything like Melania. It’s a Smurfette. It’s a disgrace," another local told ITV.It looks familiar, but not because it looks like Melania.This Melania Trump statue has a familiar face. pic.twitter.com/7kdvjI9BNO— Ian Caveney (@IanCaveney) July 6, 2019 There's only one word for this statue of Melania in her Slovenian hometown of Sevnica: uncanny. And the body double mystery: solved. And Trump's draft-dodging wasn't due to bone spurs - it was splinters pic.twitter.com/XFsvAltB82— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) July 6, 2019 BREAKING: Slovenia erects statue of Melania Trump to scare children and make them cry. pic.twitter.com/aKcQxIP6a7— I wanna be sedated (@The_Squibb) July 6, 2019 Downey, the statue's benefactor, filmed a documentary about the making of the statue. It is still unclear whether or not he is trolling us all. View this post on Instagram A local family enjoying the “Melania“ (monument) as part of “This Echo” at Vžigalica Galerija. 7. 2019–25. 8.2019..please watch the film in my bio above——————————————————————- “Melania” 2019, Sevenica, Slovenia Digital video 12:11 min ___________________________________________________ “Brad Downey’s new ongoing project ”Melania” is a documentary film consisting of several parts about the construction of a monument of Melania Trump, carved into a tree that is still rooted in her hometown of Sevnica, Slovenia. The current First Lady of the USA was born on April 26, 1970 in Novo mesto in the then Yugoslav republic of Slovenia. The sculpture of the president’s wife is made by a local pipe layer and amateur chainsaw sculptor named Maxi. Both Maxi and Melania were born on the same year in the same hospital, but their lives have taken drastically different directions. For the film, Downey and his team spent several months filming interviews with Maxi along with locations around the town. The result is a personal portrait of Maxi and his thoughts about Slovenia, the USA, Europe, immigration and class division. Through these interviews the film attempts to capture the spirit of Slovenia, which seems to be mirrored in Maxi’s interactions with his family, environment and his feelings about art, God, love, and country. By focusing on one working class man’s portrayal of a public and internationally known personality, the film offers insights on local and global problems and policies illuminated by the USA and Europe and beyond.” thanks: Aljaž Celarc , Miha and Jaka Erjavec #firstlady #slovenia #sevnica #AljažCelarc #immigration #refugees A post shared by BRAD DOWNEY (@bigtimebrad) on Jul 7, 2019 at 3:56pm PDTBe best.2. Eric Swalwell, because he's the first Democray to drop out. In related news, Eric Swalwell was running for president. ShutterstockIt's the first elimination night on America's Next Top President.It is being reported that Rep. Eric Swalwell (who?) will announce that he is suspending his presidential campaign and will instead focus on trying to get reelected to the House.Swalwell is salty about it—yesterday on Twitter, he implied that the Democratic National Committee's debate rules are rigged against him.Congressman Eric Swalwell appears to say that the DNC rules for the third debate in September are rigged against him. Swalwell is expected to announce, later today, that he’s dropping out to run for re-election. pic.twitter.com/3FPWzMWtPs— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) July 8, 2019 If you're mourning the loss of a white dude in a field of eleventy-seven white dudes, then you'll be happy to learn that billionaire Tom Steyer has decided to spend some of his billions on an ego trip.1. The Florida Man who pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. Cop stopper. Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office Barry Lee Hastings Jr., 35, celebrated the Fourth of July by cosplaying as a policeman, and got to meet a real one when he pulled over an off-duty deputy and warned him to "slow down."The real cop asked the fake cop for his credentials, and Hastings insisted that he left them at his office, aka the police station.Real Cop dialed 911 and Fake Cop was promptly arrested by another real cop, and has been charged with impersonating a public officer.Next time you want to pretend to be a cop, do it on stage at a strip club.