5. Lori Loughlin, because she lost her jobs and probably can't bribe her way into getting another one. Aunt Becky with the good heir. ShutterstockThe college cheating scandal is the best thing that has happened to lovers of schadenfreude since the Fyre Festival and the ripple effects keep on rippling.Both Fuller House and the Hallmark Channel—the more wholesome Lifetime of which Lori Loughlin is queen—have cut ties with the actress, as an federal indictment kind of spoils the family fun.Garage Sale Mysteries will never be the same.Leave Lori Loughlin alone so she can continue her important work pic.twitter.com/bE06Rdfxo1— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) March 17, 2019 Fear not, When Calls The Heart fans: the Heart will go on, just without Aunt Becky. There are other characters, including....a hot Mountie?‘When Calls The Heart’ Will Continue On Hallmark, Channel Assures Fans https://t.co/6CDT4e0yWF pic.twitter.com/JqeZA5Z2Gc— Deadline Hollywood (@DEADLINE) March 17, 2019 Loughlin's daughter, the not-so-studious ~influencer~ Olivia Jade, was on a literal yacht when the scandal broke. She has since lost her endorsement deals with major brands, and has been dropped by Sephora, which is like a death sentence for beauty vloggers.Hi there, After careful review of recent developments, we have made the decision to end the Sephora Collection partnership with Olivia Jade, effective immediately.— Sephora (@Sephora) March 14, 2019 Oh, and she dropped out of school, but that makes the whole thing worth it, doesn't it?in the svu episode it turns out that olivia jade ratted her mom to the feds so she could drop out https://t.co/qb2EAM42gY— doreen st. félix (@dstfelix) March 14, 2019 Who will be the next major scammer-daughter to fall? Please say Ivanka Trump. 4. Ivanka Trump, because Karlie Kloss still won't acknowledge that they're related. You can't sit with us. ShutterstockSpeaking of Ivanka Trump...Before she was a human Poo Pourri toilet spray attempting to mask the smell of white supremacism, she was a supermodel married to a Kushner, much like the new Project Runway host Karlie Kloss.Kloss, who's married to Jared Kushner's brother Joshua even though Tumblr believes she's in a relationship with Taylor Swift, insists that she has liberal values, and has therefore yet to acknowledge publicly that she is related to the Trumps.That didn't stop Ivanka from posting a terrifying video in front of her TV set that had Karlie on it.Go @karliekloss! 👏 pic.twitter.com/dzbeNjXKkq— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) March 15, 2019 "Amazing," she said, giving a thumbs up. "Project Runway. Epic."The cursed dispatch from the robot factory was promptly mocked, including this ~fire~ video by Tavi Gevinson.https://twitter.com/tavitulle/status/1107274973687746560Is this some "sisterly love," or passive-aggressive brand sabotage?Pretty fucked how Ivanka wants to deteriorate her sister-in-law’s brand by shouting her out on social.I hope Taylor sends a text telling her to keep Karlie’s name OUT of her mouth. https://t.co/84E5zQ2YDK— Jordan Crucchiola (@JorCru) March 15, 2019 this is like when someone you don't want your friends to know you hang out with tags you on instagram https://t.co/K9aDoPMdMn— Naomi Fry (@frynaomifry) March 16, 2019 Ivanka trying to interact with Karlie: pic.twitter.com/UJWbtpwifY— Elizabeth Belsky (@elizabethbelsky) March 15, 2019 Kiss of death if Kremlin Barbie 👠 supports you. https://t.co/ycA0M0Wqed— Cerulean Man 🇪🇺 🏳️🌈 (@Cerulean_Man) March 15, 2019 Kloss hasn't acknowledged Ivanka's tweet, nor does she even follow her on Instagram. 3. YouTuber Shane Dawson, because he had to clarify that he did not, in fact, have sex with his cat. The face of a man who does not f**k felines. ShutterstockWhether or not "YouTuber" is a subcategory of "celebrity" with which you are familiar, we can all agree that watching a man insist that he does not ejaculate on pets is objectively hilarious.Shane Dawson, a vlogger known for his videos investigating conspiracy theories, was the one who almost got investigated, when Twitter user @magician_dragon dug up a 2015 podcast episode in which Dawson said that his "first sexual experience" at 19 was when he humped and "came all over" his cat.I found the audio!! Shane Dawson came on his cat! WTF!!!!! This was on his podcast pic.twitter.com/6slFQRxIeE— Sandwich Ruler (@magician_dragon) March 17, 2019 The tweet went viral yesterday and the name Shane Dawson promptly started trending, and his response only made it worse.https://twitter.com/shanedawson/status/1107464566332489728Dawson wrote, "I'm sorry for what I said about my cat, I'm sorry for what I said about anything or anyone that was offensive, and I'm sorry for being someone who thought being super offensive and shocking all the time was funny. I'm sorry for my past," but all I can remember is "I didn't f**k my cat. I didn't cum on my cat." For what it's worth, the cat certainly looks like he's seen some things. View this post on Instagram my natural habitat A post shared by Shane Dawson (@shanedawson) on Nov 30, 2018 at 2:19pm PST2. The woman in jail for faking her own kidnapping and murder after finding out that her boyfriend was poor. Guess I'll die. ShutterstockA woman in central China did not have the Chinese New Year of her dreams when a trip to meet her boyfriend's family brought about a devastating revelation: her lover isn't rich.The Daily Mail reports that a 37-year-old woman surnamed Yu wanted to break up with her cash-deficient boyfriend but worried he would become "clingy," so took the easy way out by faking her own death."Come and save me, my ex-husband has kidnapped me, come quickly. I think I'm on the highway already," Yu toldYu then pretended to be her ex-husband and sent threatening message to the boyfriend, saying, "call the police and your wife is dead."Well, the BF called the police, and his wife was still alive, hanging out in a hotel room, watching TV. The non-kidnapped Yu reportedly believed that the poor, poor guy would have just given up.While her kidnapping was faked, Yu is now somebody else's ward, and has been detained by the police for ten days for "disrupting social order."1. Kyle Massey, because he's being sued for allegedly sending sexts to a minor. That is so not Raven. ShutterstockFormer That's So Raven and Cory in the House star Kyle Massey is being sued for allegedly sending explicit texts, photos, and videos to a 13-year-old girl, who claims to have met Massey with her mom when she was just four.People reports that according to court documents, Massey kept in touch with her family because of the child's interest in a future career in entertainment. The mother says in the suit that Massey "held himself out as a father figure" to the young child."Their communication restarted again in November 2018 when the teen texted Massey and explained that she would be interested in auditioning for a reboot of his spinoff series Cory in the House," according to People. "The actor even allegedly planned to have the girl, who was from Seattle, live with him and his girlfriend in Los Angeles, while he helped her find an agent."The girl was in eighth grade—years away from graduation.