5. Prince Andrew, because he was kicked out of the palace and fired by his mum. Home sweat home. ShutterstockImagine how absolutely terrible a person you need to be in order to lose a job you literally got because you were born.Prince Andrew is one of the highest-profile people to face consequences for the Jeffrey Epstein scandal, other than of course Jeffrey Epstein himself. Queen Elizabeth II's third child delivered a disastrous interview about his friendship with Epstein, in which he claimed that he couldn't have had sex with one of Epstein's teenage wards because she described him as "sweaty" and his royal sweat glands were in shock after the Falklands War.Virginia Roberts Guiffre, the accuser photographed with Prince Andrew and Ghislaine Maxwell in the now-infamous photo, assures that the photo has been confirmed as real by the FBI.Virginia Roberts Giuffre claims she was trafficked to Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, when she was 17. The pair are pictured together in a now infamous photograph taken in 2001. Prince Andrew denies the allegation and says the photo is a fake. #60Mins pic.twitter.com/TLiF532y4O— 60 Minutes Australia (@60Mins) November 10, 2019 While the royal family has endured dozens of scandals that make a great Netflix show, the Queen concluded that Prince Andrew's pedophilia and ghastly public relations skills weren't worth the trouble."The Queen summoned the Duke to Buckingham Palace to tell him her decision," a friend of Andrew's told the Sun. "It is unlikely he will ever perform royal duties again. He is disgraced."The 59-year-old boy will no longer get his £250,000 taxpayer-funded allowance, and mummy went and cancelled his birthday party.Royal watchers are saying that not only does this grotesque scandal set up a future episode of The Crown, it also puts the future of the monarchy in jeopardy, as British papers are filling up with "it's time to abolish the monarchy" op-eds. When/if the Queen dies, her heir Prince Charles becomes king, and some people don't want to sing about the guy who wanted to be his mistress's tampon. 4. Jenna Dewan, because she has to say that she really does love Camilla Cabello, okay? "I love it when you call me extra." ShutterstockSpeaking of controversies involving women named Camilla, a shot of Jenna Dewan in the audience during Camila Cabello's performance at the American Music Awards had people screaming "Shade! Shade! Shade!"At last night's Mini Grammys, Cabello and Shawn Mendes sang their hit song "Senorita," complete with Cabello's bumping and grinding the air. While Cabello was humping the sky, Dewan was spotted rolling her eyes and whispering to Brad Goreski, "she's always so extra."IM YELLINGRBDNSSMSNSN pic.twitter.com/oyb1ttp687— Tri ⁷ (@THEEEhottie) November 25, 2019 The clip went viral, and immediately after the awards show wrapped up, Dewan took to her Instagram Story for her limo and said that no, she wasn't shading Cabello and is actually a total stan. Yas queen.Jenna Dewan addressed rumors she called Camila Cabello “always so extra” at the #AMAs and ended up being a total hype queen for her. pic.twitter.com/oXf1gSP89g— Alyssa Bailey (@alyssabailey) November 25, 2019 While that doesn't square well with the footage we saw with our own eye-holes, Dewan clearly has no interest in starting a feud, and that sucks for all of us. It's a Bad Monday™ for everyone wanting a good, old-fashioned celebrity feud to distract us from an increasingly dark reality.Can a celebrity please just take one for the team and just call another celeb stupid? We need a dumb fight Now More Than Ever.3. The Alaska Man who got caught trying to smuggle drugs in goat intestines. "I knew you were trouble when you walked in." ShutterstockAn Alaska Man (it's like a colder, grungier Florida Man) was arrested in Anchorage for attempting to smuggle 740 grams of heroin and 389 grams of methamphetamine onto the mainland in a fish box full of rotting goat guts.The Associated Press reports that the man, officially named Cenen Placencia but hereafter known as Goat Gut Guy, checked a box as luggage that smelled extremely suspicious. Human investigators smelled the scent of rotting meat, and as it thawed, a police dog smelled the scent of drugs.Goat Gut Guy insisted that he did not know about the drugs within the intestines, but did pack the box himself and bought the guts for his own consumption.Buying goat guts just for the goat guts is way more embarrassing. He should have just confessed to having the drugs.2. Congressman Devin Nunes, because he has Ukrainian ties and legal trouble of his own. Don't have a cow, man. Wikimedia CommonsDevin Nunes, one of Donald Trump's most vocal defenders in Congress, has a lot in common with the boss man. First of all, he is extremely thin-skinned—so thin-skinned that he is suing a fake cow who dared to make fun of him. In another, more important part of Nunes's Trump tribute act, the Ranking Member of the House Intelligence Committee was also allegedly involved in the conspiracy to get dirt on Joe Biden from Ukrainians.The lawyer for one of the recently indicted Rudy Giuliani lackeys told CNN that Nunes met with former Ukrainian Prosecutor General Victor Shokin last December in Vienna, Austria. Getting something of value from a foreign national for electioneering purposes is a crime. It's the kind of crime that launches special counsel investigations and impeachment inquiries.When asked about his alleged Vienna meetup on Fox Business, Nunes refused to answer and instead started ranting about CNN, a popular strategy in Republican circles.BARTIROMO: Were you in Vienna w/Shokin?NUNES: Because there is criminal activity here, I'm not going to sit here & try to compete against the mediaB: To be clear, you're telling me CNN committed criminal activity?N: It's very likely, or they're an accessory to it, right? pic.twitter.com/epHJN0V7gK— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 24, 2019 If this is true, it means that the Ranking Member of the committee holding hearings into Trump's dealings with Ukraine to get dirt on Biden had dealings with Ukraine to get dirt on Biden himself.CNBC is now reporting that Nunes had his aides cancel a trip to Ukraine when they found out that they would have had to tell House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff about it. He certainly knows now. 1. This Harvard bro who got called out by his ex after appearing on Fox News.Twitter: @revrlewisWell, he's certainly going down now.
