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<p><a href="http://www.someecards.com/news/news/brett-kavanaugh-sexual-assault-julie-swetnick-michael-avenatti/">Brett Kavanaugh</a> &quot;took the stand&quot; at his Supreme Court confirmation hearing and delivered an opening statement at extreme decibel levels.</p><p>In the forty-minute preamble to being questioned by Democratic senators and a sex crimes prosecutor, he: listed name of women he didn&#39;t allegedly attempt to rape; blamed the editor high school yearbook for <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/24/business/brett-kavanaugh-yearbook-renate.html">seeming like creep</a>; and attacked Democrats like a good, impartial judge.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe oembed-full-width"><div><div class="video-correcting-container" style="left: 0px;width: 100%;height: 0px;position: relative;padding-bottom: 56.2493%;"><iframe width="480" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/lL94tAsjYfk?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen style="top: 0px;left: 0px;width: 100%;height: 100%;position: absolute;"></iframe></div></div></div><p>Here are some great tweets to laugh while you cry.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">jarring to see a grown man sob through a recitation of his college admission essay on national television</p>&mdash; Rachel &quot;Just Cause&quot; Sanders (@rachelysanders) <a href="https://twitter.com/rachelysanders/status/1045397313454256129?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If men like Brett Kavanaugh did not control literally every institution in this country, at the great expense of the vast majority of the population, I would feel sorry for them for having fewer inner resources than your average spirited little girl</p>&mdash; Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) <a href="https://twitter.com/jiatolentino/status/1045398030529286144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">You know what? If someone falsely accused me of sexual assault I’d be the first person calling the <a href="https://twitter.com/FBI?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@FBI</a> and yelling “Investigate”. Instead Kav is all “You’re asking the questions!” with his arms in the air and sweating with his tongue hanging out. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Kavanaugh?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Kavanaugh</a></p>&mdash; Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) <a href="https://twitter.com/EmmaKennedy/status/1045408283614433280?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p> </p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Dr. Ford: *crying* I was assaulted<br>Kavanaugh: *crying* I kept calendars</p>&mdash; Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahcpr/status/1045396200688619522?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Brett Kavanaugh listing more white women than Lou Bega</p>&mdash; Rae Sanni (@raesanni) <a href="https://twitter.com/raesanni/status/1045398702796361728?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I HAVE NOT RAPED EVERY WOMAN IN MY LIFE. I HAVE FEMALE LADY KIDS. I CAN LOOK AT A CURVY TREE WITHOUT CUMMING. <a href="https://t.co/TAF5KahmWy">pic.twitter.com/TAF5KahmWy</a></p>&mdash; Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) <a href="https://twitter.com/HanaMichels/status/1045400062979801089?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I AM A VIRGIN WITH A CALENDAR <a href="https://t.co/bkgiOE2tAV">pic.twitter.com/bkgiOE2tAV</a></p>&mdash; Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) <a href="https://twitter.com/NoahGarfinkel/status/1045398056122769408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">When you say you’ve never blacked out but you’re the “Keg City Club Treasurer” (100 Kegs or Bust) and “Beach Week Ralph Club” Biggest Contributor” 👍🏽 <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/StopKavanaugh?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#StopKavanaugh</a> <a href="https://t.co/pUk4wRJ2T4">pic.twitter.com/pUk4wRJ2T4</a></p>&mdash; Padma Lakshmi (@PadmaLakshmi) <a href="https://twitter.com/PadmaLakshmi/status/1045398934376632320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Tip:<br>If you’re being nominated for a nonpartisan position as a neutral arbiter on the Supreme Court, attacking “the left,” “Democrats,” “the Clintons” and “the media” in your opening statement while noting there will be reprisal for years to come is, well, disqualifying.</p>&mdash; Danica Roem (@pwcdanica) <a href="https://twitter.com/pwcdanica/status/1045393752427245568?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">brett is too emotional to be a supreme court justice <a href="https://t.co/J8DlpQnaUA">pic.twitter.com/J8DlpQnaUA</a></p>&mdash; ziwe (@ziwe) <a href="https://twitter.com/ziwe/status/1045394542965530625?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Regardless of where you stand on this, I think we all share one thing in common: This is the first time any of us have ever seen a grown man cry about his quarterback, his calendar, and Caddyshack all within the same sentence.</p>&mdash; Josh Gad (@joshgad) <a href="https://twitter.com/joshgad/status/1045400553021296641?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">When I am on trial for murder, I am going to produce a list of people who can testify that they have not been murdered by me. Or that I have not murdered them. Whichever comes first in my calendar.</p>&mdash; Sloane Crosley (@askanyone) <a href="https://twitter.com/askanyone/status/1045401059387166722?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">&quot;I AM AN OPTIMISTIC GUY,&quot; he roars, red-faced and furious. &quot;I ALWAYS TRY TO BE ON THE SUNRISE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN.&quot;</p>&mdash; Ashley Parker (@AshleyRParker) <a href="https://twitter.com/AshleyRParker/status/1045392533323468800?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p> </p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Same, girl, same<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/KavanaughHearings?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#KavanaughHearings</a> <a href="https://t.co/K2WfnuZSFW">pic.twitter.com/K2WfnuZSFW</a></p>&mdash; 🗳 ᴠᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ 🗳 (@lexy_myranda) <a href="https://twitter.com/lexy_myranda/status/1045415737337176065?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Not sure emphasizing your affiliation with the Catholic Church is the best way to argue you didn’t try to rape a teenager</p>&mdash; Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheDweck/status/1045402882999181312?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><oembed>https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/1045397008863776769</oembed><oembed>https://twitter.com/sadydoyle/status/1045400415796449282</oembed><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If Brett Kavanaugh is this sloppy and angry sober, imagine him drunk.</p>&mdash; Molly Knight (@molly_knight) <a href="https://twitter.com/molly_knight/status/1045399334827642880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Brett Kavanaugh is a crisis actor <a href="https://t.co/NnVvHrcZTJ">pic.twitter.com/NnVvHrcZTJ</a></p>&mdash; Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) <a href="https://twitter.com/HireMeImFunny/status/1045396360994988038?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Kavanaugh off to a bad start. <a href="https://t.co/oKMjXfxHo3">pic.twitter.com/oKMjXfxHo3</a></p>&mdash; Ally Hord (@hordie) <a href="https://twitter.com/hordie/status/1045390843044143104?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Jesus. Beer. Anger. <br><br>Very on brand, America.</p>&mdash; whew...for today (@JeanGreasy) <a href="https://twitter.com/JeanGreasy/status/1045408464372215808?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p> </p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Things Brett has cried about:<br>- Calendars<br>- His dad&#39;s calendars<br>- The summer of &#39;82<br>- His daughter&#39;s prayers<br>- Cutting lawns<br>- Coaching<br>- Lists of women&#39;s names from high school<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/KavanaughHearings?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#KavanaughHearings</a></p>&mdash; Stevie (@StevieRoeSays) <a href="https://twitter.com/StevieRoeSays/status/1045401754433728513?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">every woman in this pic tho <a href="https://t.co/6Y2SvY4YlU">pic.twitter.com/6Y2SvY4YlU</a></p>&mdash; Gustavo Luis (@verygooster) <a href="https://twitter.com/verygooster/status/1045408895441797121?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 27, 2018</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><p> </p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

The internet reacts to Brett Kavanaugh literally screaming and crying about calendars.

Brett Kavanaugh &quot;took the stand&quot; at his Supreme Court confirmation hearing and delivered an opening statement at extreme decibel levels.In the forty-minute preamble to being questioned by Democratic senators and a sex crimes prosecutor, he: listed name of women he didn&#39;t allegedly attempt to rape; blamed the editor high school yearbook for seeming like creep; and attacked Democrats like a good, impartial judge.Here are some great tweets to laugh while you cry.jarring to see a grown man sob through a recitation of his college admission essay on national television&mdash; Rachel &quot;Just Cause&quot; Sanders (@rachelysanders) September 27, 2018 If men like Brett Kavanaugh did not control literally every institution in this country, at the great expense of the vast majority of the population, I would feel sorry for them for having fewer inner resources than your average spirited little girl&mdash; Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) September 27, 2018 You know what? If someone falsely accused me of sexual assault I’d be the first person calling the @FBI and yelling “Investigate”. Instead Kav is all “You’re asking the questions!” with his arms in the air and sweating with his tongue hanging out. #Kavanaugh&mdash; Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) September 27, 2018  Dr. Ford: *crying* I was assaultedKavanaugh: *crying* I kept calendars&mdash; Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) September 27, 2018 Brett Kavanaugh listing more white women than Lou Bega&mdash; Rae Sanni (@raesanni) September 27, 2018 I HAVE NOT RAPED EVERY WOMAN IN MY LIFE. I HAVE FEMALE LADY KIDS. I CAN LOOK AT A CURVY TREE WITHOUT CUMMING. pic.twitter.com/TAF5KahmWy&mdash; Hana Michels (@HanaMichels) September 27, 2018 I AM A VIRGIN WITH A CALENDAR pic.twitter.com/bkgiOE2tAV&mdash; Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) September 27, 2018 When you say you’ve never blacked out but you’re the “Keg City Club Treasurer” (100 Kegs or Bust) and “Beach Week Ralph Club” Biggest Contributor” 👍🏽 #StopKavanaugh pic.twitter.com/pUk4wRJ2T4&mdash; Padma Lakshmi (@PadmaLakshmi) September 27, 2018 Tip:If you’re being nominated for a nonpartisan position as a neutral arbiter on the Supreme Court, attacking “the left,” “Democrats,” “the Clintons” and “the media” in your opening statement while noting there will be reprisal for years to come is, well, disqualifying.&mdash; Danica Roem (@pwcdanica) September 27, 2018 brett is too emotional to be a supreme court justice pic.twitter.com/J8DlpQnaUA&mdash; ziwe (@ziwe) September 27, 2018 Regardless of where you stand on this, I think we all share one thing in common: This is the first time any of us have ever seen a grown man cry about his quarterback, his calendar, and Caddyshack all within the same sentence.&mdash; Josh Gad (@joshgad) September 27, 2018 When I am on trial for murder, I am going to produce a list of people who can testify that they have not been murdered by me. Or that I have not murdered them. Whichever comes first in my calendar.&mdash; Sloane Crosley (@askanyone) September 27, 2018 &quot;I AM AN OPTIMISTIC GUY,&quot; he roars, red-faced and furious. &quot;I ALWAYS TRY TO BE ON THE SUNRISE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN.&quot;&mdash; Ashley Parker (@AshleyRParker) September 27, 2018  Same, girl, same#KavanaughHearings pic.twitter.com/K2WfnuZSFW&mdash; 🗳 ᴠᴏᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴏᴜᴛ 🗳 (@lexy_myranda) September 27, 2018 Not sure emphasizing your affiliation with the Catholic Church is the best way to argue you didn’t try to rape a teenager&mdash; Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 27, 2018 https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/1045397008863776769https://twitter.com/sadydoyle/status/1045400415796449282If Brett Kavanaugh is this sloppy and angry sober, imagine him drunk.&mdash; Molly Knight (@molly_knight) September 27, 2018 Brett Kavanaugh is a crisis actor pic.twitter.com/NnVvHrcZTJ&mdash; Orli Matlow (@HireMeImFunny) September 27, 2018 Kavanaugh off to a bad start. pic.twitter.com/oKMjXfxHo3&mdash; Ally Hord (@hordie) September 27, 2018 Jesus. Beer. Anger. Very on brand, America.&mdash; whew...for today (@JeanGreasy) September 27, 2018  Things Brett has cried about:- Calendars- His dad&#39;s calendars- The summer of &#39;82- His daughter&#39;s prayers- Cutting lawns- Coaching- Lists of women&#39;s names from high school#KavanaughHearings&mdash; Stevie (@StevieRoeSays) September 27, 2018 every woman in this pic tho pic.twitter.com/6Y2SvY4YlU&mdash; Gustavo Luis (@verygooster) September 27, 2018  

Brett Kavanaugh &quot;took the stand&quot; at his Supreme Court confirmation hearing and delivered an opening statement at extreme decibel levels.  In the forty-minute preamble to being questioned by Democratic senators and a sex crimes...