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Bride having child-free wedding asks if she's wrong for not allowing niece to attend.

Bride having child-free wedding asks if she's wrong for not allowing niece to attend.


Child-free weddings can sometimes be a divisive topic in families, especially if some people assume their kid will get a special pass...

So, when a conflicted bride decided to consult the online courtroom of moral philosophy otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole?' about whether or not she would be wrong to insist on a strict 'child-free' wedding rule despite her niece's birthday, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for wanting a child-free wedding on my nieces' birthday?

So me (28F) and future hubby are doing the damn thing (hopefully) this year in August. We have been engaged since 2019 (and together since 2012) so this has been long time coming. For some background, I have 10 siblings (I am the youngest) and combined they have 30 children, 20 of which are aged between 4 to 17 years.

For our big day, me and my fiancé chose a date (but not the year, luckily) when we got engaged, and it has been meaningful for us. It is actually my mothers birthday, so our first call was to my mom to ask her permission, if she would be okay with us having our wedding on her birthday at some point.

For our delight she was super happy with the idea so that's that. In addition, one of my sisters child (8-years old) has her birthday on the same day. So our next call was actually to her to tell her, that we would like to choose that date and the wedding will most likely be child-free because we could never afford to invite everyone. Back then she was like, yeah, do whatever, you didn't even have to call to ask.

So now coming back to today, the invitations have been sent and she got hers today. And I get a call from her: Sis: 'So I wanted to make sure that the sentence 'Please leave your children home' does not extend to your relatives, right?'

Me: 'This extends to all of our invited guests, family and friends alike'

Sis: 'But I am your SISTER, why should WE leave them home? Besides, I have promised XY all this time that we will be going to have a great dance party at your wedding for her birthday'

Me: 'I am sorry, but I told you that beforehand when I asked about the date as well, we can not afford to invite so many guests. Think how many children there would be'

Sis: 'No, but you should make an exception because it is HER BIRTHDAY and I promised we will go.'

I know some of my other siblings are mad about the child-free thing as well and we are getting a lot of heat for it. My fiancé has a very small family, so I feel bad constantly that mine is so huge. We just want a cool party with just close relatives and friends and not to mention COVID has set quite the limit.

So AITA because I knew my chosen wedding date was a someone's child birthday and I knew that I wanted to have a child-free wedding and now I do not want to make an exception?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

NTA (Not the As*hole) you called to ask, and got permission. Your sister is TA for backtracking. Exceptions will cause drama with other parents. - jammy913

NTA. This is a date that is special to you. You told her what you were doing. She chose to promise her daughter something that, frankly, wasnt in her control. Aside from the fact that she blatantly disregarded what you already told her. There is nothing wrong with child free weddings. Your family can suck it up and get over it. - simba1998

NTA. That's a lot of extra people and if you make an exception for one then all the other siblings will cry 'unfair' - No_Elephant3224

YTA (You're the as*hole) she is 8 and you want her parents to miss her birthday? Your sister clearly misunderstood what you were asking. - king_kong123

YTA you pick your mothers bday because its special to you (a full grown adult) yet expect a 8 year old child to understand why they have to be left with a sitter on their own bday because their aunt doesn't want them at their wedding. - Taylormadezz

I mean, ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Because why'd you invite her expecting her to ditch her kid on her birthday? What did you expect her to do? I mean, she should have told you off from the beginning and not assumed she was some grand exception, but you have to have assumed that this would cause some shit when this was a 6 year old you were expecting to be abandoned.

On their birthday. An 8 year old values their birthday even more. You're all horrible people except this poor kid with immature adult figures. - YeahIgotanopinion

So, there you have it!

The opinions were mixed here, but most people agreed that this bride isn't wrong to want a child-free wedding, but she should plan to do something special for her niece separately or understand when her sister can't attend. Good luck, everyone!

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