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<h2>Planning a wedding can be a stressful test of patience as you wonder if you should just ditch the whole affair and elope on a beach rock with a dead crab as a witness.</h2><p>The second you get engaged, everyone seems to have some opinion on how you should plan your wedding whether it&#39;s the florist you choose, the hours of the open bar, the venue, the cut of the dress or whether or not you should allow your cousins to bring their collective fifteen unruly kids under 10-years-old. Regardless of the choices you make, there will always be some people who want to complain about the cake filling, color of the bridal party&#39;s dresses and appetizers at cocktail hour. The only way to fully avoid any criticism from guests is to just not invite any of them, which many couples who&#39;ve had enough of Aunt Trisha&#39;s centerpiece critique decide to do.</p><p>So, when a burnt-out bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not she&#39;d be wrong to have a secret wedding before her actual wedding, people were quick to help deem a verdict.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>AITA for getting married in secret the day before our planned wedding?</h2><blockquote> <p>I, (24F) and fiance (25M) are supposed to get married in a little over a week. Long story short, this wedding was full of various family members telling us what we can and cannot do so it got to the point where neither of us felt this was truly our wedding anymore. As the days have gotten closer, we got more and more excited for our wedding, even if it&#39;s not exactly how we planned.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>That all changed this week. We have had several family members call to ask who they&#39;re sitting with, just to complain that that is not what they want. Family members feuding with each other...Several guests told us they were bringing an extra person past our RSVP timeline and proceeded to be upset when we tell them their guest may not have a meal for dinner (but we have snacks and desserts).</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Lastly, the icing on the cake was when my sister (bridesmaid) and her husband (groomsman) informed us they would be bringing their toddler to our wedding party photos, which is supposed to only be bridesmaids, groomsmen, and us. We kindly informed them that this is a time for the bridal party to have fun with each other and that our photography schedule has 0 room for distractions or delays and suggested my mom watch him for the short time we&#39;ll be taking pictures.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>We also made sure to let them know that there will be family photos later on and he will be in those. They then proceeded to tell us we don&#39;t love our nephew, we&#39;re purposefully excluding him, and that he should be allowed to be with them the entire day.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Among all things, this was our breaking point. We now want to do a private secret ceremony the day before the wedding with only mine and my fiance&#39;s best friend as witnesses. We figured if we already were married, we wouldn&#39;t have to stress on the day of our wedding about all the drama surrounding us.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>We brought the idea up to a close family member and they said it was horrible because then we&#39;re basically lying to everyone who attends our &quot;real&quot; wedding and that it&#39;ll hurt our family members&#39; feelings. We feel we&#39;ve compromised enough that we deserve this, but it has me thinking...AITA?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p><em><strong>EDIT:</strong> </em>We&#39;re okay if the secret ceremony gets out eventually, just as long as it comes out after the wedding day. As much as it&#39;s been tempting, we can&#39;t will ourself to cancel the wedding itself knowing that basically every single family member is flying in from out of town. If we could go back and do everything different and put our foot down, we would. Moral of the story, don&#39;t be people pleasers like us!</p> </blockquote><h2>Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA (Not the As*hole). You do you. Your wedding, your rules. - anne_darcy</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. We had friend that got married in a small private ceremony about a month before the big wedding. They said it made the big wedding way less stressful and they had so much fun because it was basically a big party. The only as*holes here are your family members being entitled brats. Congratulations and enjoy your day. - KingsRansom79</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA I would even do a small private wedding and cancel the original wedding. Family is supposed to support each other and they aren&#39;t doing that by being rude and toxic - Dronechastity</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. It&#39;s your day, you should do as you like. You don&#39;t need the drama!! - Sergio5126</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA - your wedding, your day, your way, family has no say. - DreamwithinaDream13</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Everyone agreed that this couple wouldn&#39;t be wrong at all to have a &quot;secret wedding&quot; as the wedding they planned no longer feels like theirs. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Bride asks if she’s wrong to secretly elope without family before actual wedding.

Planning a wedding can be a stressful test of patience as you wonder if you should just ditch the whole affair and elope on a beach rock with a dead crab as a witness.The second you get engaged, everyone seems to have some opinion on how you should plan your wedding whether it&#39;s the florist you choose, the hours of the open bar, the venue, the cut of the dress or whether or not you should allow your cousins to bring their collective fifteen unruly kids under 10-years-old. Regardless of the choices you make, there will always be some people who want to complain about the cake filling, color of the bridal party&#39;s dresses and appetizers at cocktail hour. The only way to fully avoid any criticism from guests is to just not invite any of them, which many couples who&#39;ve had enough of Aunt Trisha&#39;s centerpiece critique decide to do.So, when a burnt-out bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not she&#39;d be wrong to have a secret wedding before her actual wedding, people were quick to help deem a verdict.AITA for getting married in secret the day before our planned wedding? I, (24F) and fiance (25M) are supposed to get married in a little over a week. Long story short, this wedding was full of various family members telling us what we can and cannot do so it got to the point where neither of us felt this was truly our wedding anymore. As the days have gotten closer, we got more and more excited for our wedding, even if it&#39;s not exactly how we planned.   That all changed this week. We have had several family members call to ask who they&#39;re sitting with, just to complain that that is not what they want. Family members feuding with each other...Several guests told us they were bringing an extra person past our RSVP timeline and proceeded to be upset when we tell them their guest may not have a meal for dinner (but we have snacks and desserts).   Lastly, the icing on the cake was when my sister (bridesmaid) and her husband (groomsman) informed us they would be bringing their toddler to our wedding party photos, which is supposed to only be bridesmaids, groomsmen, and us. We kindly informed them that this is a time for the bridal party to have fun with each other and that our photography schedule has 0 room for distractions or delays and suggested my mom watch him for the short time we&#39;ll be taking pictures.   We also made sure to let them know that there will be family photos later on and he will be in those. They then proceeded to tell us we don&#39;t love our nephew, we&#39;re purposefully excluding him, and that he should be allowed to be with them the entire day.   Among all things, this was our breaking point. We now want to do a private secret ceremony the day before the wedding with only mine and my fiance&#39;s best friend as witnesses. We figured if we already were married, we wouldn&#39;t have to stress on the day of our wedding about all the drama surrounding us.   We brought the idea up to a close family member and they said it was horrible because then we&#39;re basically lying to everyone who attends our &quot;real&quot; wedding and that it&#39;ll hurt our family members&#39; feelings. We feel we&#39;ve compromised enough that we deserve this, but it has me thinking...AITA?   EDIT: We&#39;re okay if the secret ceremony gets out eventually, just as long as it comes out after the wedding day. As much as it&#39;s been tempting, we can&#39;t will ourself to cancel the wedding itself knowing that basically every single family member is flying in from out of town. If we could go back and do everything different and put our foot down, we would. Moral of the story, don&#39;t be people pleasers like us! Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: NTA (Not the As*hole). You do you. Your wedding, your rules. - anne_darcy   NTA. We had friend that got married in a small private ceremony about a month before the big wedding. They said it made the big wedding way less stressful and they had so much fun because it was basically a big party. The only as*holes here are your family members being entitled brats. Congratulations and enjoy your day. - KingsRansom79   NTA I would even do a small private wedding and cancel the original wedding. Family is supposed to support each other and they aren&#39;t doing that by being rude and toxic - Dronechastity   NTA. It&#39;s your day, you should do as you like. You don&#39;t need the drama!! - Sergio5126   NTA - your wedding, your day, your way, family has no say. - DreamwithinaDream13 So, there you have it!Everyone agreed that this couple wouldn&#39;t be wrong at all to have a &quot;secret wedding&quot; as the wedding they planned no longer feels like theirs. Good luck, everyone!

Planning a wedding can be a stressful test of patience as you wonder if you should just ditch the whole affair and elope on a beach rock with a dead crab as a witness.  The second you get engaged, everyone seems to have some opinion on how...