News

<p>In theory, figuring out who to invite to your wedding should be relatively simple. Close family and friends are naturally on the list, and if you have space, a few friendly folks on the outer circles of friendship.</p><p>However, in reality, family members can be toxic, close friends can marry less than ideal partners, and budgets often prevent the ability to include everyone you like. Navigating the decision-making around who to include and who to exclude is markedly stranger in a time of extreme political division, and the ability to see people&#39;s passing thoughts on social media.</p><p>One woman recently posted on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nf716o/aita_for_uninviting_someone_to_my_wedding/" target="_blank">the Am I The A**hole subreddit</a> for an outside perspective after facing backlash for uninviting the spouse of a friend over his passionate anti-LGBTQ social media posts.</p><blockquote> <p>AITA for uninviting someone to my wedding?</p> </blockquote><h2>OP kicked off the post by sharing that she and her fiance made this decision a few days back, and are still unsure whether it was the right move.</h2><blockquote> <p>Hi everyone,</p> <p>This is something my fianc&eacute; (m25) and I (f25) did a couple of days ago, and I&#39;ve been questioning whether it was the correct decision since.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>She shared that her fiance&#39;s friend is married to a religious man, which would be fine, except he constantly posts conspiracy theories, and anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ+ content on his Facebook.</h2><blockquote> <p>One of the guests invited to our wedding was the husband of one of my fianc&eacute;&#39;s friends. He (m38) is very religious (Evangelical Baptist, I believe), which is completely fine with us. The problem is that his religious views meant that he&#39;s heavily anti-LGBTQ+, anti-abortion and anti-Catholic (it will be a Catholic ceremony). In person, he isn&#39;t too aggressive about these views, but his Facebook feed is incredibly aggressive and cruel towards these people and issues. He&#39;s also an anti-vaxxer/covid conspiracy theorist and posts about this daily.</p> </blockquote><h2>After a recent skimming of his Facebook, OP and her fiance decided to uninvite him since they&#39;re nervous about any potential awkwardness or skirmishes between him and other guests.</h2><p>On top of that, they&#39;re also worried he won&#39;t follow Covid protocol.</p><blockquote> <p>We decided to uninvite him because we have friends coming who are LGBTQ+, also, one of my bridesmaids had a very upsetting abortion when she was 18, and we don&#39;t trust he will follow Covid regulations leading up to the wedding.</p> </blockquote><h2>In order to avoid putting him on the spot, OP and her fiance messaged him instead of calling him.</h2><p>They also made it clear that the wife was still invited in a separate message to her, but understood if she felt awkward attending without her husband.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>However, their tactic backfired as both he and his wife expressed hurt and claimed they wished OP had been more direct.</p><blockquote> <p>We decided to send a message, rather than call, as we didn&#39;t want to put him on the spot/embarrass him (it&#39;s how I&#39;d feel if I was the recipient of this call!), telling him he&#39;s uninvited and why. We also contacted his wife explaining what we&#39;d done and telling her she was welcome to come but we&#39;d understand if she didn&#39;t want to. Understandably they were both really upset, and told us that he wouldn&#39;t have been hateful towards anyone in person. The husband also told us he would rather we spoke to him about it.</p> </blockquote><h2>Now, OP feels conflicted about their decision, as they recognize how awkward it is to uninvite someone from a wedding after sending an invitation.</h2><blockquote> <p>Edit: forgot to say that I wasn&#39;t connected with the husband on Facebook (and didn&#39;t really know him) until after he was invited.</p> <p>Edit 2: A couple of people have pointed out that be wouldn&#39;t have known their friend had an abortion. I didn&#39;t think that he would, I was more worried he&#39;d be tactless about it with her in earshot</p> <p>Did we do the wrong thing? I know it&#39;s a massive faux pas to uninvite someone from a wedding.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/dirtamen/">dirtamen</a> thinks it&#39;s completely reasonable and a natural consequence of the man&#39;s words on social media.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m uninviting you because I&rsquo;ve just learned you regularly spread hate towards a community that includes some of my other guests and I don&rsquo;t want to risk having any possible conflict at my wedding&rdquo; is perfectly reasonable.</p> <p>Social media isn&rsquo;t some fantasy land where your opinions disappear into the void, his hateful posts are very much real and he should have known there might be consequences.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Weskit/">Weskit</a> thinks it&#39;s important that people learn the consequences of their own actions.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. It&#39;s your wedding and you handled it the least stressful way for you. People need to understand that their social media hate posts have consequences IRL, and this guy just learned it the hard way.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FeatherFall101/">FeatherFall101</a> pointed out the fact that the man and his wife didn&#39;t even apologize for the hate posts, but instead deflected.</h2><blockquote> <blockquote> <p>Understandably they were both really upset, and told us that he wouldn&#39;t have been hateful towards anyone in person</p> </blockquote> <p>Not that he&#39;s not a hateful person. Not a discussion into why his posts and therefore his presence could make other people uncomfortable and how to rectify it. Just &quot;he wouldn&#39;t be hateful in person&quot;</p> <p>NTA. Nowhere near.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Fancy-Lemon-8029/">Fancy-Lemon-8029</a> thinks OP&#39;s only error was inviting him in the first place.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA.</p> <p>Your error was inviting him in the first place, but he is the AH for having and spreading such repulsive views.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FrankLloydWrong_3305/">FrankLloydWrong_3305</a> thinks OP should uninvite the wife as well, given the COVID risks.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA, people need to understand there are real world consequences to what they post online.</p> <p>That having been said, if you didn&#39;t trust him to follow COVID protocols leading up to the wedding, I&#39;m not sure how you justify still inviting the wife.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/queerbychoice/">queerbychoice</a> thinks everyone sucks, OP for inviting the man in the first place, and the man for his views.</h2><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The problem is that you ever invited him in the first place. Once you invited him, there was no escaping from being TA - the only choice was who to be TA to: him or your other guests. I think you picked the right person to be TA too, but still, technically, the judgment should be ESH.</p> </blockquote><p>While the internet disagrees on where the full blame of the awkward situation lies, it&#39;s clear a lot of people support the decision to uninvite this man.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Bride asks if she's wrong to disinvite wedding guest over homophobic Facebook posts.

In theory, figuring out who to invite to your wedding should be relatively simple. Close family and friends are naturally on the list, and if you have space, a few friendly folks on the outer circles of friendship.However, in reality, family members can be toxic, close friends can marry less than ideal partners, and budgets often prevent the ability to include everyone you like. Navigating the decision-making around who to include and who to exclude is markedly stranger in a time of extreme political division, and the ability to see people&#39;s passing thoughts on social media.One woman recently posted on the Am I The A**hole subreddit for an outside perspective after facing backlash for uninviting the spouse of a friend over his passionate anti-LGBTQ social media posts. AITA for uninviting someone to my wedding? OP kicked off the post by sharing that she and her fiance made this decision a few days back, and are still unsure whether it was the right move. Hi everyone, This is something my fianc&eacute; (m25) and I (f25) did a couple of days ago, and I&#39;ve been questioning whether it was the correct decision since. She shared that her fiance&#39;s friend is married to a religious man, which would be fine, except he constantly posts conspiracy theories, and anti-abortion and anti-LGBTQ+ content on his Facebook. One of the guests invited to our wedding was the husband of one of my fianc&eacute;&#39;s friends. He (m38) is very religious (Evangelical Baptist, I believe), which is completely fine with us. The problem is that his religious views meant that he&#39;s heavily anti-LGBTQ+, anti-abortion and anti-Catholic (it will be a Catholic ceremony). In person, he isn&#39;t too aggressive about these views, but his Facebook feed is incredibly aggressive and cruel towards these people and issues. He&#39;s also an anti-vaxxer/covid conspiracy theorist and posts about this daily. After a recent skimming of his Facebook, OP and her fiance decided to uninvite him since they&#39;re nervous about any potential awkwardness or skirmishes between him and other guests.On top of that, they&#39;re also worried he won&#39;t follow Covid protocol. We decided to uninvite him because we have friends coming who are LGBTQ+, also, one of my bridesmaids had a very upsetting abortion when she was 18, and we don&#39;t trust he will follow Covid regulations leading up to the wedding. In order to avoid putting him on the spot, OP and her fiance messaged him instead of calling him.They also made it clear that the wife was still invited in a separate message to her, but understood if she felt awkward attending without her husband.However, their tactic backfired as both he and his wife expressed hurt and claimed they wished OP had been more direct. We decided to send a message, rather than call, as we didn&#39;t want to put him on the spot/embarrass him (it&#39;s how I&#39;d feel if I was the recipient of this call!), telling him he&#39;s uninvited and why. We also contacted his wife explaining what we&#39;d done and telling her she was welcome to come but we&#39;d understand if she didn&#39;t want to. Understandably they were both really upset, and told us that he wouldn&#39;t have been hateful towards anyone in person. The husband also told us he would rather we spoke to him about it. Now, OP feels conflicted about their decision, as they recognize how awkward it is to uninvite someone from a wedding after sending an invitation. Edit: forgot to say that I wasn&#39;t connected with the husband on Facebook (and didn&#39;t really know him) until after he was invited. Edit 2: A couple of people have pointed out that be wouldn&#39;t have known their friend had an abortion. I didn&#39;t think that he would, I was more worried he&#39;d be tactless about it with her in earshot Did we do the wrong thing? I know it&#39;s a massive faux pas to uninvite someone from a wedding. dirtamen thinks it&#39;s completely reasonable and a natural consequence of the man&#39;s words on social media. NTA. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m uninviting you because I&rsquo;ve just learned you regularly spread hate towards a community that includes some of my other guests and I don&rsquo;t want to risk having any possible conflict at my wedding&rdquo; is perfectly reasonable. Social media isn&rsquo;t some fantasy land where your opinions disappear into the void, his hateful posts are very much real and he should have known there might be consequences. Weskit thinks it&#39;s important that people learn the consequences of their own actions. NTA. It&#39;s your wedding and you handled it the least stressful way for you. People need to understand that their social media hate posts have consequences IRL, and this guy just learned it the hard way. FeatherFall101 pointed out the fact that the man and his wife didn&#39;t even apologize for the hate posts, but instead deflected.  Understandably they were both really upset, and told us that he wouldn&#39;t have been hateful towards anyone in person  Not that he&#39;s not a hateful person. Not a discussion into why his posts and therefore his presence could make other people uncomfortable and how to rectify it. Just &quot;he wouldn&#39;t be hateful in person&quot; NTA. Nowhere near. Fancy-Lemon-8029 thinks OP&#39;s only error was inviting him in the first place. NTA. Your error was inviting him in the first place, but he is the AH for having and spreading such repulsive views. FrankLloydWrong_3305 thinks OP should uninvite the wife as well, given the COVID risks. NTA, people need to understand there are real world consequences to what they post online. That having been said, if you didn&#39;t trust him to follow COVID protocols leading up to the wedding, I&#39;m not sure how you justify still inviting the wife. queerbychoice thinks everyone sucks, OP for inviting the man in the first place, and the man for his views.  The problem is that you ever invited him in the first place. Once you invited him, there was no escaping from being TA - the only choice was who to be TA to: him or your other guests. I think you picked the right person to be TA too, but still, technically, the judgment should be ESH. While the internet disagrees on where the full blame of the awkward situation lies, it&#39;s clear a lot of people support the decision to uninvite this man.