I am 23F and I’m getting married to my fiancé 25M in March. I sent out the invitations for the wedding before the Christmas holidays but now one friend (Ellie) has taken issue with the dress code.
Fiancé and I are both practicing Muslims who both have several close non-Muslim friends. We have managed to find a masjid that is able to perform our nikah (religious marriage) as well as being registered to perform the civil marriage!
Now obviously since the actual wedding is going to be in a masjid we asked all our guests to dress respectfully and be covered.
None of our other friends or relatives (those who don’t usually follow the rules of modest dress for either men or women in their day to day) have had an issue with this. Ellie has taken issue with the dress code.
I tried to explain it nicely to her at first that it’s a place of worship and she needs to be respectful of that but she’s just getting more and more aggro about it.
Yesterday she messaged me to say she would wear whatever she wanted and I would have to deal with it so I messaged her back and said “Ellie I can’t make you dress appropriately but if you don’t then you can’t come to the wedding.”
Now she’s texting the GC saying I’m excluding her from my wedding for stupid reasons and that I have an agenda against her for being an atheist. I’ve known her since she was 17 and this has never been how she behaved so now I’m wondering if I’m being a bridezilla and TA?
People on Reddit jumped on with their thoughts.
mammaistired wrote:
It's your wedding. NTA. I am an atheist. If I go to a religious wedding I wear clothes that are appropriate. I won't wear religious clothes, like a cross, but if you want my collarbone and wrist covered, that's fine. It's showing respect for other people's traditions and cultures.
Pinkie_Flamingo wrote:
NTA. Being an atheist is irrelevant. She wants to attend a religious service, and of course she has to conform to the faith's dictates about dress whilst doing so.
givemethc27 wrote:
NTA - As an atheist this is bs. I would respect whatever customs my friends practice and especially on a special day such as this. You’re not being a bridezilla, please don’t let Ellie make you feel like you are one.
She is trying to make this about her for whatever reason, jealousy maybe? Seems extremely selfish and not something a friend would do. It’s perfectly reasonable of you to ask her to either abide by the dress code or not attend. Sorry you’re having to deal with this, I hope you have an amazing day ?
ErnestBatchelder wrote:
Text the GC since she's trying to take this public: 'Ellie, my wedding will be a religious ceremony and I have asked my friends and loved ones to respect the tenets of our beliefs & rules of the mosque.'
'I understand as an atheist you feel covering your arms goes against your beliefs, and I respect that. You will be missed on the day.' She's being ridiculous. NTA.