Child-free aunt asks if she's wrong to invite SIL's kids on trip without their parents.
Being the 'cool aunt' or 'fun uncle' when you don't have children of your own is a badge of honor, but it's important to set realistic expectations about your contribution with your siblings and in-laws...
Taking the kids for a weekend is fun for everyone, but providing an all-expenses paid trip for the whole family just because you chose not to have kids is crossing a line.
So, when a conflicted child-free aunt decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not her SIL is entitled to a free vacation, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my SIL I'll take her kids to Disney World but not her?
So my husband and I are child-free and more well off than most of our siblings. We bought a house young, have steady careers, and minimal expenses. We enjoy being child-free but I am also very fond of my nieces and nephew ( 4 nieces and 1 nephew from varying siblings on my husband and I's sides) and have worked to be a part of all of their lives.
I make special trips for birthdays, help their parents with cleaning, yard work, and cooking as much as I can- my philosophy is it takes a village and I can be a part of that village.
Two years ago one of my SIL's on my husband's side lost her father. He lived in Europe and they had a strained relationship so he never met my niece, who we will call E. So my SIL ended up going to his funeral but E and BIL didn't go. E was 8 and got out of school a week after her mom left and BIL was struggling to keep things in order.
My husband and I stopped by and cooked dinners, but we had an existing vacation planned- so we offered to take E with us. It was a camping trip, nothing fancy but she loved it and had a great time so we let her come with us on several more trips since then.
Cut to now- my brother and his wife had kids young and have always been broke. It's been a hard year from them and my SIL was talking about how badly they needed a break. My husband, E, and I had planned a trip for Disney World over fall break so I talked it over with my husband and offered to take their two kids with us as well.
My SIL got excited and said she would text my brother to get the time off work ASAP- I was confused and clarified I just meant take the kids with us so they had a bit of a break.
SIL ended up getting mad and asking 'What about us? You're just gonna leave us at home to do nothing while you guys have fun? I've never even been to Disney World!'
I told her I didn't mean it like that but she's pretty pissed and won't let her kids go if they can't also go. AITA?
While it might be a little awkward to explain why the sister-in-law isn't invited with her children, it's normal to assume that parents would want a break...
It seems like these parents were hoping to get a free vacation and a free babysitter in an all-in-one friends and family discount package deal. The entitlement is so bold here you almost have to respect the hustle.
Of course, people were eager to weigh in on this family drama. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
NTA (Not the As*hole). People are so weird about spending other people's money. - JeepNaked
NTA - if anything, SIL is the AH. She should be grateful her kids will get to enjoy a fun trip that they couldn’t afford to give their kids. The fact she’s not letting them go with you shows she’s immature and ungrateful. Sh*tty the kids will not get to go. But also keep in mind it’s not your responsibility to pay for their trip. - rosiemewmew
NTA. Her inability to understand and appreciate the gift you are giving them (a break from the kids) in no way makes you an a*shole - Johnny-Fakehnameh
NTA. You offered to give them a break by taking their kids on a fun vacation. Paying for 2 kids is quite different than paying for 2 kids plus 2 adults. You made a nice offer and your SIL got entitled. - Zauberspruch
NTA. You are being incredibly generous in taking their kids to Disney Land. For SIL to also think that you will also pay for her and your brother is just greedy. - OrcEight
So, there you have it!
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this woman and her husband are not at all wrong to exclude the parents from the trip as offering to give them a break was incredibly generous. Expecting your brother and his wife to fund your entire vacation is pretty gross behavior that's definitely going to make for an awkward Thanksgiving. Good luck, everyone!