New dad asks if he's wrong to sleep in guest room so wife wakes up for crying baby.

While new babies are adorable, they're also tiny hungry hurricanes of screaming chaos that refuse to sleep.

So, when a sleep deprived dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not he's wrong to sleep in the guest room to force his wife to wake up when their three month old baby cries, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for sleeping in the guest room so that my wife will take care of our baby at night?

We have a 3 month old baby and it’s been exhausting. I work early mornings from 5 am-1pm. Since my wife works part time from 11am- 4, I need to pick up my daughter from the sitter and take her home, make dinner and try to clean up.

It’s all still new and don’t get me wrong I love my daughter but it’s started to feel like I’m doing mostly everything and my wife told me she knows that, and she’ll try to do more. I told her just as long as she does night shifts it’s fine.

I’d do them myself but being sleep deprived is a huge safety risk where I work considering I operate heavy machinery. Since I started going back to work it’s been an ongoing issue whenever my daughter wakes up. Either my wife takes forever because I have to push her to get up or she asks me to do it knowing I have to be up in a couple hours for work.

On average my daughter is waking up about 3-4 times a night and she’s in the room with us in her bassinet because we wanted to wait a little longer before having her in her own room. Coffee isn’t having the same effect so I’m beyond tired. We’ve talked about this and she promises she’ll do nights but once it’s actually time it’s a different story.

Around midnight my daughter was crying and I wake my wife so she could feed her. Again she mumbles in her sleep that I do it. I’m fed up, first feed my daughter and get her back to sleep, then I grabbed my pillow to sleep in the guest room. My wife was pissed when my daughter started crying again 3 hours later and I’m not there.

She thinks I’m being absolutely childish now leaving her to sleep alone over something so small. And it’s not fair for me to sleep elsewhere just to get away from the crying. Now she says I’m not being a supportive spouse for her and pretty much being an as*hole with not wanting to sleep in the same room for the past 2 nights.

She says it’s like I’m leaving her alone to handle our daughter and I need to be involved too. I'm at the point where i just wanted to do something to fix the sleeping issue but I don’t know if it really was being an as*hole or not

Edit: My daughter’s sitter picks up our daughter around 8 am, then I pick her up on the way home once out of work.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

NTA (Not the As*hole. Your wife keep promising but does not do what she says she will do. The reason she is mad is because you have called her on it and, by sleeping in the guest room, are forcing her to do what she said she would do. 'I told her just as long as she does night shifts it’s fine.

I’d do them myself but being sleep deprived is a huge safety risk where I work considering I operate heavy machinery.' She is putting you at risk. This is not a small thing.

Notice she is making this all about her: ' I’m being absolutely childish now leaving her to sleep alone over something so small....it’s not fair for me to sleep elsewhere just to get away from the crying.... being an as*hole with not wanting to sleep in the same room for the past 2 nights.' Your wife needs to put her big girl pants on and take on her responsibilities. - patjames904

NTA, you work full time, early in the morning and with heavy equipment. She works part time and starts later in the day. She has more opportunities to catch up on missed sleep. You guys have already had the discussion about her getting up with the baby overnight. She isn’t doing what was agreed upon. Having a new baby is hard on everyone all around.

Especially when one partner is doing a majority of the job which she has already acknowledged to you. She said she would work on it but she hasn’t. I would also have her see the Dr just to make sure she doesn’t have postpartum depression. If she does, you will need to keep doing most of the things and also supporting her. Best of luck to you all!! - annettemendoza

NTA. The early months are tough to be sure. But you need a reasonable amount of sleep to be able to safely do your job. Full stop. If she cannot wake herself up when you're in the room you need to sleep elsewhere. As long as you are being involved with your daughter after work until you need to sleep. Suggestion: Make time for your wife to take a nap before you need to go to bed. - sepher32

My husband and I have a baby, and most nights he sleeps in the living room so he doesn't wake up every time baby does. He needs more sleep in general than I do, and he works four 10-hour days, while I have five 8- hour days. But the night before his extra day off, he keeps the baby with him so I can catch up on sleep.

We're both tired, but getting a chance to sleep throb the night when it's our turn helps keep us sane and functioning. There's no need for both parents to wake up multiple times a night, every night.

Maybe something like that can work for you. Babies are exhausting, and communication and tempers can break down when everybody is sleep deprived. But taking turns getting caught up on sleep might help. - IntroductionKindly33

NTA - your wife is not splitting parenting duties 50/50 with you, she is expecting you to do most of it - brendanl1998

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed that this dad isn't at all wrong to force his wife to hold up her end of the deal and take the night shift by removing himself from the bedroom.

While his wife is wrong to keep forcing her husband to wake up when she promised she would, clearly there are some communication issues here that run deeper than this new dad's naps in the guest room. Good luck, everyone!