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<h2>It can be a difficult transition for parents when their children suddenly have adult responsibilities and needs...</h2><p>While most parents wouldn&#39;t think twice about walking straight into their 5-year-old&#39;s bedroom and interrupting an elaborate game of &quot;Doll Hair Salon,&quot; when kids enter their teen years it&#39;s critically important to maintain a mutual respect for family privacy. Feeling smothered by your parents and unable to have a true minute of alone time as a teenager can often fuel resentment, secrets or rebellion.</p><p>In an effort to keep your kids closer to you as a parent with an &quot;open door&quot; house policy, not giving them any personal space to be alone can often have the opposite effect. If you&#39;re constantly accusing your 16-year-old of hiding something just because they want to sleep in peace without their mom barging in for yet another update on the weekend plans, you&#39;re only giving a teenager more reasons to never trust you.</p><p>So, when a conflicted dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole?&quot; about his teenage son&#39;s privacy in their home, people were there to help deem a verdict.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/nj7ssm/aitafor_telling_my_wife_i_warned_you_when_our_son/">AITA</a> (Am I the As*hole)...for telling my wife &quot;I warned you&quot; when our son got a lock for his room?</h2><blockquote> <p>So here&#39;s the problem, My son Simon (16) moved out of the room he used to share with his little brother and got his own room a few months back. Ever since, he&#39;s been complaining about his mom barging in without knocking and interrupting his sleep and studying. Sometimes when he&#39;s changing...I know that she&#39;s his mother but he says he&#39;s got his own room and has a job and is learning to become an independent adult but doesn&#39;t feel like his privacy is being respected even when that&#39;s his mom. He says he&#39;s not a kid anymore and is entitled to at least get a knock on the door before she comes in.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>He was getting tired of her not listening to him so he came to me and said ...dad, you need to help me set some clear boundaries with mom. So I spoke to her about her needing to knock before entering Simon&#39;s room. She was like what? And no, we&#39;re family, not strangers...do you really expect me to foolishly knock on the door 5 times a day?...that&#39;s ridiculous!!! Also the...&quot;who knocks doors in their own home?&quot;. I told her my family for instance.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>She made a face then went on a rant about how my family hates each other and the way they treat each other like they were strangers is shameful. I told her family or strangers, it&#39;s about respecting one&#39;s privacy. We had an argument about it and I told her if she wasn&#39;t going to stop with the barging and refuse to knock on the door before entering, then our son will get a lock.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>She did it again at 11pm, she barged in when our son was asleep and he jumped up because he got scared. Once he told me this I told him to go ahead and get a lock and pay for it with his own money, there was literally no other way.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>My wife saw it and got upset and my brother was visiting when she was raising her voice at me questioning if <em>I</em> really went ahead and got a lock for Simon despite her disapproval and said that I caught her off guard and it&#39;s not okay because this teaches our children that they can &#39;manipulate&#39; one parent into doing what they want. I told her that A) Simon got the lock, not me and B) I already warned her about the possibility of him getting a lock because he was getting tired of her boundary crossing. So she should&#39;ve expected this outcome.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>She mentioned the same above points in her defense and said locks means secrets and that&#39;s not good. My brother was sitting watching while she was complaining, She began chewing him out when he asked her to let Simon keep the lock and said it wasn&#39;t a big deal. She stopped talking to me and Simon &#39;til we remove the lock, but I&#39;ve no intentions on doing that.</p> <p>Was I at fault for my stance?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>I think your wife is an as*hole, but the way you handled it with your wife was cowardly. You supported what your son did, in fact you <em>told him to do it</em> but then you played stupid by essentially saying &lsquo;he paid for it, I had no part in it.&rsquo;</p> <p>If you believed in your son&rsquo;s position, you should have supported that to your wife. In fact, if you felt so strongly, you should have told her &lsquo;the next time you do that, I will personally install a lock on his door.&rsquo;</p> <p>ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Except Simon. - AnotaCocktail</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA (Not the As*hole). I&rsquo;m usually a huge proponent of parents being a team and a united front, but your wife is just dead wrong on this one. I knock on my 7 year old&rsquo;s door if it&rsquo;s closed. It&rsquo;s called basic respect. If there was some sort of true emergency, that&rsquo;s one thing. But just because she feels like going in there? Nope. She&rsquo;s flat out wrong.</p> <p>Since she&rsquo;s opposed to knocking on doors, would she be okay with your son just barging into your room while she&rsquo;s changing or sleeping? - HotWifeJ2021</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA: Simon told her to rein it in, you told her to rein it in and stated that getting a lock for his door was a possibility, she refused to rein it in and is somehow surprised that you kept to your word. Also, locks mean secrets? Really? No, a lock in this case means &quot;I am keeping this lock because my crazy mother won&#39;t rein in her habit of barging into my room&quot; - TemperateEnd</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>You sort of threw your son under the bus there. Sorry that your wife didn&rsquo;t handle her end well - it&rsquo;s totally respectful to knock on doors even in your own home, my three year old has no problem with this concept. But your son needed more backup than you gave him. ESH - Spiritual_Worth</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Your wife has some really skewed priorities if she wants to interrupt her children when they&#39;re changing or sleeping and sees no issue with it. Is she fine with your children walking in on her doing those things without knocking? ESH. Grow a stronger spine, and stand up for your children. - BirdWise2581</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Why is she constantly barging in at inappropriate times, is she trying to catch him in the middle of something secretive? What specifically is she looking for? Poor kid. - notrapunzel</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>While the opinions were mixed here, most people agreed that this dad wasn&#39;t wrong at all to disagree with his wife&#39;s complete lack of respect for her teenage son&#39;s privacy, but he should&#39;ve defended Simon more than simply telling him to go get a lock with his own money. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Dad asks if he was wrong to tell son to get lock for bedroom to keep out intrusive mom.

It can be a difficult transition for parents when their children suddenly have adult responsibilities and needs...While most parents wouldn&#39;t think twice about walking straight into their 5-year-old&#39;s bedroom and interrupting an elaborate game of &quot;Doll Hair Salon,&quot; when kids enter their teen years it&#39;s critically important to maintain a mutual respect for family privacy. Feeling smothered by your parents and unable to have a true minute of alone time as a teenager can often fuel resentment, secrets or rebellion.In an effort to keep your kids closer to you as a parent with an &quot;open door&quot; house policy, not giving them any personal space to be alone can often have the opposite effect. If you&#39;re constantly accusing your 16-year-old of hiding something just because they want to sleep in peace without their mom barging in for yet another update on the weekend plans, you&#39;re only giving a teenager more reasons to never trust you.So, when a conflicted dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole?&quot; about his teenage son&#39;s privacy in their home, people were there to help deem a verdict.AITA (Am I the As*hole)...for telling my wife &quot;I warned you&quot; when our son got a lock for his room? So here&#39;s the problem, My son Simon (16) moved out of the room he used to share with his little brother and got his own room a few months back. Ever since, he&#39;s been complaining about his mom barging in without knocking and interrupting his sleep and studying. Sometimes when he&#39;s changing...I know that she&#39;s his mother but he says he&#39;s got his own room and has a job and is learning to become an independent adult but doesn&#39;t feel like his privacy is being respected even when that&#39;s his mom. He says he&#39;s not a kid anymore and is entitled to at least get a knock on the door before she comes in.   He was getting tired of her not listening to him so he came to me and said ...dad, you need to help me set some clear boundaries with mom. So I spoke to her about her needing to knock before entering Simon&#39;s room. She was like what? And no, we&#39;re family, not strangers...do you really expect me to foolishly knock on the door 5 times a day?...that&#39;s ridiculous!!! Also the...&quot;who knocks doors in their own home?&quot;. I told her my family for instance.   She made a face then went on a rant about how my family hates each other and the way they treat each other like they were strangers is shameful. I told her family or strangers, it&#39;s about respecting one&#39;s privacy. We had an argument about it and I told her if she wasn&#39;t going to stop with the barging and refuse to knock on the door before entering, then our son will get a lock.   She did it again at 11pm, she barged in when our son was asleep and he jumped up because he got scared. Once he told me this I told him to go ahead and get a lock and pay for it with his own money, there was literally no other way.   My wife saw it and got upset and my brother was visiting when she was raising her voice at me questioning if I really went ahead and got a lock for Simon despite her disapproval and said that I caught her off guard and it&#39;s not okay because this teaches our children that they can &#39;manipulate&#39; one parent into doing what they want. I told her that A) Simon got the lock, not me and B) I already warned her about the possibility of him getting a lock because he was getting tired of her boundary crossing. So she should&#39;ve expected this outcome.   She mentioned the same above points in her defense and said locks means secrets and that&#39;s not good. My brother was sitting watching while she was complaining, She began chewing him out when he asked her to let Simon keep the lock and said it wasn&#39;t a big deal. She stopped talking to me and Simon &#39;til we remove the lock, but I&#39;ve no intentions on doing that. Was I at fault for my stance? Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: I think your wife is an as*hole, but the way you handled it with your wife was cowardly. You supported what your son did, in fact you told him to do it but then you played stupid by essentially saying &lsquo;he paid for it, I had no part in it.&rsquo; If you believed in your son&rsquo;s position, you should have supported that to your wife. In fact, if you felt so strongly, you should have told her &lsquo;the next time you do that, I will personally install a lock on his door.&rsquo; ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). Except Simon. - AnotaCocktail   NTA (Not the As*hole). I&rsquo;m usually a huge proponent of parents being a team and a united front, but your wife is just dead wrong on this one. I knock on my 7 year old&rsquo;s door if it&rsquo;s closed. It&rsquo;s called basic respect. If there was some sort of true emergency, that&rsquo;s one thing. But just because she feels like going in there? Nope. She&rsquo;s flat out wrong. Since she&rsquo;s opposed to knocking on doors, would she be okay with your son just barging into your room while she&rsquo;s changing or sleeping? - HotWifeJ2021   NTA: Simon told her to rein it in, you told her to rein it in and stated that getting a lock for his door was a possibility, she refused to rein it in and is somehow surprised that you kept to your word. Also, locks mean secrets? Really? No, a lock in this case means &quot;I am keeping this lock because my crazy mother won&#39;t rein in her habit of barging into my room&quot; - TemperateEnd   You sort of threw your son under the bus there. Sorry that your wife didn&rsquo;t handle her end well - it&rsquo;s totally respectful to knock on doors even in your own home, my three year old has no problem with this concept. But your son needed more backup than you gave him. ESH - Spiritual_Worth   Your wife has some really skewed priorities if she wants to interrupt her children when they&#39;re changing or sleeping and sees no issue with it. Is she fine with your children walking in on her doing those things without knocking? ESH. Grow a stronger spine, and stand up for your children. - BirdWise2581   NTA. Why is she constantly barging in at inappropriate times, is she trying to catch him in the middle of something secretive? What specifically is she looking for? Poor kid. - notrapunzel So, there you have it!While the opinions were mixed here, most people agreed that this dad wasn&#39;t wrong at all to disagree with his wife&#39;s complete lack of respect for her teenage son&#39;s privacy, but he should&#39;ve defended Simon more than simply telling him to go get a lock with his own money. Good luck, everyone!

It can be a difficult transition for parents when their children suddenly have adult responsibilities and needs...  While most parents wouldn&#39;t think twice about walking straight into their 5-year-old&#39;s bedroom and interrupting an...