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Dad demands teen introduce her date before going out. She cancels instead. AITA?

Dad demands teen introduce her date before going out. She cancels instead. AITA?


Parenting a teen is a near impossible task.

On one hand, they're still technically kids under your roof and you want to guide and protect them. But on the other hand, they're rapidly approaching adulthood, so giving them a longer leash can help them transition into what's next.

Achieving this balancing act can be even harder when they're embarking on the world of dating, where danger, excitement, and heartbreak all abound.

In a popular AITA post, a dad ask if he was wrong for requiring his 13-year-old to introduce her date to him.

He wrote:

'AITA for making my daughter cancel her date​​​​​​?'

I'm a single dad and have been for about 9 years now. My daughter is 13 and is the single greatest thing to ever happen to me. About a week ago she said that this boy in her class wanted to know if she would be up to grab pizza on that Saturday.

We don't really do anything for Thanksgiving so, logistically it worked out. She agreed to it. When she told me about this, I said that I wanted to meet this guy. She immediately got annoyed and asked why.

I said that if a guy is asking my daughter out, I just want to be able to put a face to a name. I promised her it was not going to be some goofy' dad interrogates boyfriend and acts all scary' schtick.

I told her to tell him I wanted to meet him and just say 'Hi.' She tells me she's told him. Saturday comes and I see her heading toward the door. I tell her to hold up and ask where her date is.

She says he's outside and that they're going to bike ride to the pizza place. I ask why he's not coming to the door. She first tells me he's nervous and doesn't know what he'd say to me. I told her that, ' Nice to meet you' is a good start.

Her story changes and she tells me he just ' doesn't see why' I have to meet him. I reiterate my 'why' to her and ask her to go get him. She breaks down and tells me that she lied to me.

She never told him I wanted to meet him because she thought it was ' stupid' that I wanted to meet him. I told her to text him that the date was off. She said I wasn't allowed to do that. I asked her again to tell him.

She started getting teary-eyed, texted him, told me I was mean and that she hated me, and went to her room. When I told my sister what'd happened, she thought I was in the wrong and said I should've let my daughter go on the date. AITA?

Parents and non-parents alike chimed in with their hot takes.

Excellent_Care1859 wrote:

NTA. If she can’t handle asking him to meet her parent she isn’t mature enough to be alone with a person you don’t know.

Intelligent-Ask-3264 wrote:

NTA. As a parent, my kids don't go anywhere with anyone I don't know. Period. I don't care if it's a date, I don't care if it's for a school function, etc. Why do I need to know? Your safety. Period. That's my job as your parent.

DearOP_ wrote:

This! OP's NTA and the sister is just plain wrong. OP doesn't know this kid and their expectations of simply meeting isn't a bad thing at all. It's actually good parenting imo.

Affectionate_Many_73 wrote:

Just so you are aware, everyone saying that you shouldn’t casually meet who your 13-year-old CHILD is hanging out with, date or not, these are the folks you want to be wary of.

If this “friend” refused to meet you, or your CHILD refused to let you say hello, then your parent instincts were correct. Wow, can I just say WOW the people on here. This is a scary thread.

MooseTek wrote:

This was a simple rule I requested when my daughter first started dating. Of course, you want to see who your children are going out with on their first dates for this reason (this applies to either sex).

I think the most important part about doing this is about respect. Each party is showing respect by acknowledging each other.

My wife and I both believed in the importance of our daughter learning how to respect herself, and this was just a step in this process.

And yes, there was a point where we had to meet the other parents as well, because Respect.

Electrical-Date-3951 wrote:

Sis is *way off base if she thinks it's appropriate to let a 13-year-old just leave the house, to go on a date, with someone who she refuses to let meet her dad. That would be foolish and dangerous. OP has no idea if this is even a little boy.

This could be a much older teen or even an adult. Anything could happen to his kid and he wouldn't even know who she was with.

13 is very young to be dating, so if I were OP, I wouldn't have only met this kid, I would have confirmed this was OK with his parents, and dropped them off and picked them up.

Letting a 13-year-old kid just come and go as she pleases, with anyone, is a recipe for disaster and danger.

Message_Bottle wrote:

Welcome to the teenage years. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride! I let my kids know early on that I wasn’t “the cool mom” and that their health and safety would never be negotiable.

That included meeting the parents if there was a house party. “Mom you’re embarrassing me.” Me: that’s my job.

It seems clear that most of the internet sides with OP, not his sister or daughter. Hopefully, with time, his daughter understands he's just trying to look out for her.

Sources: REddit
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