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Dad helps daughter after she has first period; ex-wife is pissed. AITA?

Dad helps daughter after she has first period; ex-wife is pissed. AITA?


Every girl remembers her first period, for better or worse. Whether it's exciting, traumatic, or just plain annoying, it's a memory that etches itself in your psyche forever.

While a lot of moms are fully prepared to help guide their daughter through the scary and frustrating first experiences, some place more value on this moment than others. However, mom isn't always available, and this can occasionally cause some complications.

In a popular AITA post, a dad asked if he was wrong for not calling his ex-wife when their daughter got her period.

He wrote:

AITA for not asking my ex for help when my daughter had her period? I do not in any way shape or form limit contact or communication between my ex and our kids. My ex-wife works out of town. She works for two weeks and then gets a week off.

I used to do that schedule as well but I now work from home as a maintenance planner. When we divorced I got primary custody of our daughter and son since I was the one available to do the parenting.

I have very little interest in discussing anything with my ex. Yes, there is a lot of bitterness and recrimination in our relationship. I loved my ex with all my heart. While I always thought she was beautiful it wasn't as easy for other people to see.

However when you are one of a dozen women in a 2,000 man work camp you get a lot of attention. That's all I'm going to say about that. My daughter is ten years old and she just got her first period.

I grew up with sisters and I am not a complete idiot so I had read up on what to do. I had also talked to my mom and sisters about it. I had been prepared since she was 8. I gave her the boxes of pads and tampons.

I explained to her that it was normal and healthy. I watched a video with her that was a tutorial on what to do. I also asked her if she would like to talk to either my sister or the woman I'm seeing about how to do everything right.

She said that she understood and would like to talk to my sister on the weekend. After dinner on Saturday, my sister talked to me about it. She said I had the basics correct and there were only a couple of things she needed to explain or correct.

My ex called to talk to the kids yesterday and afterward yelled at me on the phone. She called me an a**hole for excluding her from a milestone in her daughter's life.

I asked her if it had happened during her week with the kids if she would have told me about it. She said that wasn't the point. It was a mother-daughter thing and that I took it away from her. I said it was a parent-kid medical issue and that made it a me thing. I am a man so maybe I just don't get it. AITA?

The internet gave OP all of their hot takes.

PorQueMeHacenEsto wrote:

NTA. You handled the situation very well and managed to teach your daughter everything she needed to know, as well as redirecting her to people who could also advise her.

I don't see the need for you to have immediately gone to tell your ex about her first period, especially considering that it was already happening, although it might have been nice if you told her after you figured it out. Anyway, well done.

vomitthewords wrote:

NTA. You took good care of your daughter. You also showed her that some men do understand what is happening and what she may need.

You gave her female options for questions you couldn't answer, and you did it in a way that she didn't need to feel ashamed or uncomfortable. I commend you on a job well done.

WholeAd2742 wrote:

NTA. It's a natural and normal part of your daughter's life. You are her parent and guardian. Your DAUGHTER can decide to share that info or not. You did absolutely nothing wrong tending to her immediate needs.

PeggyHW wrote:

NTA. And it's really weird to make it a teary-eyed mummy-daughter moment. No. It's not buying a wedding dress or going to a graduation. It's bleeding and owie and reassurance. You did fine.

It sounds like OP did a great job, and is far from TA.

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