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<p>Having kids can be hard on a marriage. Your sleep schedule is quickly dismantled by a cooing baby and the general stress of keeping a tiny person alive, date nights transform into potty training, and any semblance of sexuality feels like it&#39;s dried up into a ball of snot.</p><p>That being said, children can be wonderful, and many couples bond over their overwhelming love for their kids. The trick is finding a way to balance the devotion for parenting with a continued commitment to spicing up married life.</p><h2>In a recent post on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ehw713/aita_for_saying_i_love_you_more_than_anything_to/" target="_blank">the Am I The A*shole subreddit</a>, a dad asked if he was wrong for upsetting his wife when he told their young daughter he loves her &quot;more than anything.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>AITA for saying &ldquo;I love you more than anything&rdquo; to my daughter in front of my wife</p> </blockquote><h2>OP shared that his 3-year-old daughter sometimes expresses anxiety that he&#39;ll stop loving her when she makes mistakes.</h2><blockquote> <p>My daughter is 3, and sometimes gets scared I&rsquo;ll stop loving her when she does something bad (for no good reason mind you, I make sure she always knows why I&rsquo;m upset, and that I&rsquo;m mad at her actions, not her). Today she bumped a glass off the table and started crying.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>When OP&#39;s daughter recently knocked over a glass of water and started crying, he comforted her by assuring that he loves her more than anything.</h2><blockquote> <p>She asked if I still love her and I said &ldquo;I love you more than anything&rdquo; and gave her a kiss. My wife was watching and stormed off. I made sure my daughter was fine and cleaned up the glass and went to go see what was going on.</p> </blockquote><h2>When OP&#39;s wife heard him say he loved their daughter &quot;more than anything,&quot; she immediately stormed off and started crying.</h2><blockquote> <p>My wife was crying and calling me an a*shole who doesn&rsquo;t love her (I guess I have 2 irrational 3 years olds now). I said of course I love her and asked why she was wigging out.</p> </blockquote><h2>When OP checked on his wife, she expressed anxiety that he loved their daughter more than her.</h2><blockquote> <p>She said that because I said the above phrase to my daughter, it meant she didn&rsquo;t mean as much to me. Is this really something I&rsquo;m not supposed to say? My mother said it to me, and my dad didn&rsquo;t freak out.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/tabimarieexo/">tabimarieexo</a> thinks OP&#39;s wife needs therapy, given her response.</h2><blockquote> <p>Dude... NTA. Your wife needs therapy STAT! That&rsquo;s not a normal response.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SuchASpecialSnFlake/">SuchASpecialSnFlake</a> said it&#39;s normal for couples to have scuffs if their connection feels supplanted by the arrival of kids, but this type of reaction is misplaced.</h2><blockquote> <p>It can be somewhat normal for one parent to feel jealousy and loss of a bond with their SO when children come. The outburst itself is a bit much but I&#39;ve seen/heard of the idea itself plenty of times.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ehw713/aita_for_saying_i_love_you_more_than_anything_to/" target="_blank">Kineth</a> thinks OP was completely without fault in this situation.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA</p> <p>Your wife/her mom shouldn&#39;t be competing with your daughter. Surely she can comprehend why a parent would say that to their child. It doesn&#39;t mean you love her any less. It was meant to console your daughter.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Bexickle/">Bexickle</a> think OP&#39;s condescending and dismissive nature fuels this dynamic.</h2><blockquote> <p>ESH because I think there is more going on beneath the surface. You posted a story in which your wife seems obviously irrational, and you still couldn&#39;t resist the opportunity to take a dig at her on top of that. Seems like you&#39;re not helping this dynamic.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pullbang/">pullbang</a> thinks OP wife&#39;s reaction may have been overdone, but the concept of putting your partner first is healthier long-term.</h2><blockquote> <p>NAH... not going to be popular but hey. My wife comes first for me. Then my kids. I love my wife more than anything in the world. There was a time when she put the kids first in our relationship and it caused a lot of problems in our relationship. We went to therapy. Took a year or so to get it all right, we both are each others top priority, and it should be this way. If your relationship isn&rsquo;t as good as it can be the kids feel it. Things start to fall apart little by little.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Some people are ok with becoming roommates and compartmentalism their relationships but I&rsquo;m not. I didn&rsquo;t marry her to be my friend till the kids are gone. Then we can be each others husband and wife. THIS DOES NOT MEAN OUR KIDS ARE NOT THE HIGHLIGHT OF OUR LIVES! We love them unconditionally and ridiculously. But we take care of &ldquo;us&rdquo; first.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>As for the outburst that&rsquo;s a little out of sorts, she may be having some issues and everyone that suggested therapy is totally correct. In fact if all of you are seeing a mental health professional periodically in your life you should.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Vastellan/">Vastellan</a> thinks the situation is more complex than people are giving it credit for.</h2><blockquote> <p>NAH</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>As other have mentioned, this is something that you two should definitely work out together, but it&#39;s sad how fast everyone is to throw her under the bus.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Having your first child is a huge game changer. It&#39;s possible that your wife is missing the honeymoon period when she was the apple of your eye, or perhaps she&#39;s feeling a little neglected and finally snapped. If you haven&#39;t been doing so, maybe it&#39;s time to start leaving your daughter with grandparents or a sitter and having a regular date night.</p> </blockquote><p>All in all, it sounds like OP and his wife need to have a talk about their relationship and how they&#39;re going to navigate personal time and expressions of love towards each other and their daughter, so these kinds of melt-downs don&#39;t continue.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Dad asks if he was wrong to say 'I love you more than anything' to daughter.

Having kids can be hard on a marriage. Your sleep schedule is quickly dismantled by a cooing baby and the general stress of keeping a tiny person alive, date nights transform into potty training, and any semblance of sexuality feels like it&#39;s dried up into a ball of snot.That being said, children can be wonderful, and many couples bond over their overwhelming love for their kids. The trick is finding a way to balance the devotion for parenting with a continued commitment to spicing up married life.In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a dad asked if he was wrong for upsetting his wife when he told their young daughter he loves her &quot;more than anything.&quot; AITA for saying &ldquo;I love you more than anything&rdquo; to my daughter in front of my wife OP shared that his 3-year-old daughter sometimes expresses anxiety that he&#39;ll stop loving her when she makes mistakes. My daughter is 3, and sometimes gets scared I&rsquo;ll stop loving her when she does something bad (for no good reason mind you, I make sure she always knows why I&rsquo;m upset, and that I&rsquo;m mad at her actions, not her). Today she bumped a glass off the table and started crying. When OP&#39;s daughter recently knocked over a glass of water and started crying, he comforted her by assuring that he loves her more than anything. She asked if I still love her and I said &ldquo;I love you more than anything&rdquo; and gave her a kiss. My wife was watching and stormed off. I made sure my daughter was fine and cleaned up the glass and went to go see what was going on. When OP&#39;s wife heard him say he loved their daughter &quot;more than anything,&quot; she immediately stormed off and started crying. My wife was crying and calling me an a*shole who doesn&rsquo;t love her (I guess I have 2 irrational 3 years olds now). I said of course I love her and asked why she was wigging out. When OP checked on his wife, she expressed anxiety that he loved their daughter more than her. She said that because I said the above phrase to my daughter, it meant she didn&rsquo;t mean as much to me. Is this really something I&rsquo;m not supposed to say? My mother said it to me, and my dad didn&rsquo;t freak out. tabimarieexo thinks OP&#39;s wife needs therapy, given her response. Dude... NTA. Your wife needs therapy STAT! That&rsquo;s not a normal response. SuchASpecialSnFlake said it&#39;s normal for couples to have scuffs if their connection feels supplanted by the arrival of kids, but this type of reaction is misplaced. It can be somewhat normal for one parent to feel jealousy and loss of a bond with their SO when children come. The outburst itself is a bit much but I&#39;ve seen/heard of the idea itself plenty of times. Kineth thinks OP was completely without fault in this situation. NTA Your wife/her mom shouldn&#39;t be competing with your daughter. Surely she can comprehend why a parent would say that to their child. It doesn&#39;t mean you love her any less. It was meant to console your daughter. Bexickle think OP&#39;s condescending and dismissive nature fuels this dynamic. ESH because I think there is more going on beneath the surface. You posted a story in which your wife seems obviously irrational, and you still couldn&#39;t resist the opportunity to take a dig at her on top of that. Seems like you&#39;re not helping this dynamic. pullbang thinks OP wife&#39;s reaction may have been overdone, but the concept of putting your partner first is healthier long-term. NAH... not going to be popular but hey. My wife comes first for me. Then my kids. I love my wife more than anything in the world. There was a time when she put the kids first in our relationship and it caused a lot of problems in our relationship. We went to therapy. Took a year or so to get it all right, we both are each others top priority, and it should be this way. If your relationship isn&rsquo;t as good as it can be the kids feel it. Things start to fall apart little by little.  Some people are ok with becoming roommates and compartmentalism their relationships but I&rsquo;m not. I didn&rsquo;t marry her to be my friend till the kids are gone. Then we can be each others husband and wife. THIS DOES NOT MEAN OUR KIDS ARE NOT THE HIGHLIGHT OF OUR LIVES! We love them unconditionally and ridiculously. But we take care of &ldquo;us&rdquo; first.  As for the outburst that&rsquo;s a little out of sorts, she may be having some issues and everyone that suggested therapy is totally correct. In fact if all of you are seeing a mental health professional periodically in your life you should. Vastellan thinks the situation is more complex than people are giving it credit for. NAH  As other have mentioned, this is something that you two should definitely work out together, but it&#39;s sad how fast everyone is to throw her under the bus.  Having your first child is a huge game changer. It&#39;s possible that your wife is missing the honeymoon period when she was the apple of your eye, or perhaps she&#39;s feeling a little neglected and finally snapped. If you haven&#39;t been doing so, maybe it&#39;s time to start leaving your daughter with grandparents or a sitter and having a regular date night. All in all, it sounds like OP and his wife need to have a talk about their relationship and how they&#39;re going to navigate personal time and expressions of love towards each other and their daughter, so these kinds of melt-downs don&#39;t continue.

Is this irrational, or reflective of something deeper?

Dad asks if he was wrong to say 'I love you more than anything' to daughter.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a dad asked if he was wrong for upsetting his wife when he told their young daughter he loves her "more than anything."

OP shared that his 3-year-old daughter sometimes expresses anxiety that he'll stop loving her when she makes mistakes.