Tonight is the first night of the first Democratic debate, airing on NBC, MSNBC, and Telemundo. The field is so large that it's a two-night event, demanding both your Wednesday and your Thursday. Half of the candidates will take the stage in Miami tonight, only half of whom are white men!

We got:

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio
Ohio Rep. Tim Ryan
Former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro
New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker
Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren
Former Texas Rep. Beto O’Rourke
Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar
Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard
Washington Gov. Jay Inslee
Former Maryland Rep. John Delaney

NBC announced that the highest-polling candidates featured in the middle, leaving a few of the Anderson Cooper lookalikes bookending the interesting people.

Tonight's debate is being referred to as the "undercard" event, because the high-polling B-boys (Bernie and Biden) don't scream on stage until tomorrow. If you're planning on watching tonight to see Elizabeth Warren whip everyone's a**es, here are the names of the pasty dudes you need to know.

Bill de Blasio

Current job: Mayor of New York City

Distinguishing facial feature: Very large teeth.

2020 vision: He's been too busy with his day job to present any policy proposals, but his multiracial family has been a huge part of his campaigns thus far. His wife, Chirlaine McCray, is one of his top advisors. De Blasio's biggest accomplishment as mayor has been instituting a universal pre-K program and being mocked on the cover of the New York Post just about every day.

Most cringeworthy tweet: Blaz got some "debate prep" from his 21-year-old son Dante, who almost certainly participated in this very real conversation.

Lucky to have the talented, debater Dante de Blasio helping me get ready for Wednesday! pic.twitter.com/my51wahM6S
— Bill de Blasio (@BilldeBlasio) June 24, 2019

Tim Ryan

Current job: Congressman for Ohio's 13th district.

Distinguishing facial feature: Hazel eyes.

2020 vision: He's one of those centrist Democrats who thinks that "identity politics" are divisive, and while climate change is an existential threat, we "can’t green the economy without the power of the free-market system." He preaches a "unity" that involves being "engaged with the business community"—aka not taxing big business and billionaires to institute progressive policies, but is in favor of a Medicare for All single-payer system.

Most cringeworthy tweet: Slide into his DMs.

Little secret. My DM’s are open and I actually read & respond to messages.
— Tim Ryan (@TimRyan) June 23, 2019

Beto O'Rourke

Current job: Running for president, but represented Texas's 16th Congressional district and almost unseated Ted Cruz in the Senate.

Distinguishing facial feature: Sharp, pointy nose.

2020 vision: He was the first candidate to release a climate change plan, and his immigration plan is to use executive power to protect not only recipients of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) but their families, too. He supports a pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants, and recently pitched a "war tax" on non-military households to cover healthcare for veterans in future wars. He prefers a public healthcare option to Medicare for All.

Most cringeworthy tweet: His announcement video, which featured his wife sitting silently and smiling, was widely mocked.

I am running to serve you as the next president. The challenges we face are the greatest in living memory. No one person can meet them on their own. Only this country can do that, and only if we build a movement that includes all of us. Say you're in: https://t.co/EKLdkVET2u pic.twitter.com/lainXyvG2n
— Beto O'Rourke (@BetoORourke) March 14, 2019

Jay Inslee

Current job: Governor of Washington

Distinguishing facial feature: Eye crinkles.

2020 vision: Inslee is running on climate, climate, and also climate, bashing the Democratic National Committee for refusing to host a climate-centric debate. His climate policy includes ending fossil fuel subsidies and transitioning to a 100% clean energy economy. On non-climate issues, he says that a public option "should be a key first step toward delivering universal health care."

Most cringeworthy tweet: Not gonna lie, this is actually pretty charming.

This was supposed to be off the record. https://t.co/y8ns10UOKw
— Jay Inslee (@JayInslee) May 23, 2019

John Delaney

Current job: Presidential candidate, but represented Maryland's 6th District in Congress from 2013 to 2019.

Distinguishing facial feature: Male pattern baldness.

2020 vision: He's the traditional, business-centric one, who recently got attention for picking a fight with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on Medicare for All (he does not support Medicare for All). AOC told him to sashay away.

Most cringeworthy tweet: "Please debate me, Congresswoman!!!"

Hey @AOC, we have the same goal, universal healthcare for everyone, we just have different ways of getting there. Healthcare is the #1 issue for voters, so let’s debate the way forward. Any show of your choosing. Healthcare is too important for tweets, we need real discussion. https://t.co/LDrWa9sZQD
— John Delaney (@JohnDelaney) June 3, 2019

A primer on which white dude is which at tonight's Democratic debate.