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<p>Not everyone wants a surprise party, especially the people who specifically say that they don&#39;t. But for some reason, people have a hard time believing others when they explicitly say they do not want to come home to a room full of people they weren&#39;t planning on entertaining.</p><h2>A 17-year-old girl ran into this exact problem, and took to <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cq6dzw/aita_for_leaving_my_own_surprise_party/" target="_blank">reddit</a> after her mom got upset with her for not being grateful for the surprise party that was thrown for her.</h2><p>The teen had good reason for not wanting a party. She explained:</p><blockquote> <p>I (17f) have been struggling with some depression after my dad passed. I spend about a year isolated, never leaving my room, just laying in bed all day miserable. I started going to therapy and working two days a week, but the moment I come home I will still crawl right into bed. I just have no energy.</p> <p>My 17th birthday was a few days ago and my mom was asking if I wanted a party, she thought it would be good for me. I told her several times that no, I don&#39;t want a party, pretending to be totally fine and happy is exhausting. Especially with that many people around.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>But her mom did not take the explicit hint.</h2><blockquote> <p>But when I came back from work and opened the door, the house was filled with people. (Maybe 10% family I&#39;m not close to and 90% my moms friends). I didn&#39;t know what to do so I walked back out again, I grabbed a slice of pizza somewhere and walked around the park, hoping that when I came back they would be gone.</p> </blockquote><h2>But then her mom felt like she was the one being mistreated in the situation.</h2><blockquote> <p>While at the park my phone blew up with texts from my family and mom, that I was ungrateful and spoiled and didn&#39;t deserve nice things they tried to do.</p> <p>I came home about two hours after I left the party, my mom was super pissed. I tried to explain but she thinks it&#39;s just excuses.</p> <p>Was I the asshole? My mom is still not speaking to me, and I do feel bad that she went though all that effort for nothing.</p> </blockquote><h2>But the people of reddit were quick to reassure her that she hadn&#39;t done anything wrong here.</h2><p>jaxc124 said:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NTA. You didnt want a party and she wanted a party that wasnt hers to have</p> </blockquote><h2>And pretty much everyone agreed that the mom was the one being selfish and immature.</h2><p>Buez said:</p><blockquote> <p>Assuming she knows you are depressed and going to therapy NTA. She asked you how you felt about it and you said no. She went against your wishes and did it anyway.</p> </blockquote><h2>People were also much more understanding about this teen&#39;s depression than her mom was.</h2><p>AltAccount863</p><blockquote> <p>NTA for multiple reasons. 1, depression is rarely understood by family members, and often they just make it worse. Your mom should have listened to you when you said you didn&rsquo;t want a party. 2, if said unwanted party was 90% mom&rsquo;s friends, that sounds like it was more of a party for HER than it was for you. 3, you shouldn&rsquo;t be forced to put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy, again that I&rsquo;m sure would just make things worse.</p> <p>I&rsquo;m sorry for your loss and I hope you get through it alright. I can&rsquo;t promise it will get any easier but believe me, some things are worth living for.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>sewdeficient said:</p><blockquote> <p>You expressed your wishes; they were ignored. At the point someone says &quot;please don&#39;t throw me a party&quot; and pulls that shit, <em>they are throwing a party for themselves.</em>You should point that out.</p> <p>Your mom also sounds like a goddamned child. She&#39;s selfish. She could have had a get-together for herself if she liked - instead she used your birthday and put pressure on you as the excuse.</p> <p>Please feel no guilt.</p> </blockquote><p>And Sirnando138 had this very heartwarming, supportive response:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA. You handled it the way you needed to. And as a dude that lost his dad at 17, all I can say is keep your head up. That was 21 years ago for me and I&rsquo;ve long moved on, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and as long you keep being true to yourself, like you have been, you will be just fine. My family tried doing the same stuff with me and I hated it. Good on you for standing up.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The lesson here is that 1)depression is very real, and we need to listen to our loved ones who are struggling with it, and 2)for the love of GAWD, do not throw a surprise party for someone who has made it very clear that they do not want one.</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Depressed teen asks if she's wrong for ditching surprise party her mom threw against her will.

Not everyone wants a surprise party, especially the people who specifically say that they don&#39;t. But for some reason, people have a hard time believing others when they explicitly say they do not want to come home to a room full of people they weren&#39;t planning on entertaining.A 17-year-old girl ran into this exact problem, and took to reddit after her mom got upset with her for not being grateful for the surprise party that was thrown for her.The teen had good reason for not wanting a party. She explained: I (17f) have been struggling with some depression after my dad passed. I spend about a year isolated, never leaving my room, just laying in bed all day miserable. I started going to therapy and working two days a week, but the moment I come home I will still crawl right into bed. I just have no energy. My 17th birthday was a few days ago and my mom was asking if I wanted a party, she thought it would be good for me. I told her several times that no, I don&#39;t want a party, pretending to be totally fine and happy is exhausting. Especially with that many people around. But her mom did not take the explicit hint. But when I came back from work and opened the door, the house was filled with people. (Maybe 10% family I&#39;m not close to and 90% my moms friends). I didn&#39;t know what to do so I walked back out again, I grabbed a slice of pizza somewhere and walked around the park, hoping that when I came back they would be gone. But then her mom felt like she was the one being mistreated in the situation. While at the park my phone blew up with texts from my family and mom, that I was ungrateful and spoiled and didn&#39;t deserve nice things they tried to do. I came home about two hours after I left the party, my mom was super pissed. I tried to explain but she thinks it&#39;s just excuses. Was I the asshole? My mom is still not speaking to me, and I do feel bad that she went though all that effort for nothing. But the people of reddit were quick to reassure her that she hadn&#39;t done anything wrong here.jaxc124 said: NTA. You didnt want a party and she wanted a party that wasnt hers to have And pretty much everyone agreed that the mom was the one being selfish and immature.Buez said: Assuming she knows you are depressed and going to therapy NTA. She asked you how you felt about it and you said no. She went against your wishes and did it anyway. People were also much more understanding about this teen&#39;s depression than her mom was.AltAccount863 NTA for multiple reasons. 1, depression is rarely understood by family members, and often they just make it worse. Your mom should have listened to you when you said you didn&rsquo;t want a party. 2, if said unwanted party was 90% mom&rsquo;s friends, that sounds like it was more of a party for HER than it was for you. 3, you shouldn&rsquo;t be forced to put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy, again that I&rsquo;m sure would just make things worse. I&rsquo;m sorry for your loss and I hope you get through it alright. I can&rsquo;t promise it will get any easier but believe me, some things are worth living for. sewdeficient said: You expressed your wishes; they were ignored. At the point someone says &quot;please don&#39;t throw me a party&quot; and pulls that shit, they are throwing a party for themselves.You should point that out. Your mom also sounds like a goddamned child. She&#39;s selfish. She could have had a get-together for herself if she liked - instead she used your birthday and put pressure on you as the excuse. Please feel no guilt. And Sirnando138 had this very heartwarming, supportive response: NTA. You handled it the way you needed to. And as a dude that lost his dad at 17, all I can say is keep your head up. That was 21 years ago for me and I&rsquo;ve long moved on, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and as long you keep being true to yourself, like you have been, you will be just fine. My family tried doing the same stuff with me and I hated it. Good on you for standing up. The lesson here is that 1)depression is very real, and we need to listen to our loved ones who are struggling with it, and 2)for the love of GAWD, do not throw a surprise party for someone who has made it very clear that they do not want one.

Not everyone wants a surprise party, especially the people who specifically say that they don&#39;t. But for some reason, people have a hard time believing others when they explicitly say they do not want to come home to a room full of...