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<h2>Every love story has to start somewhere, but the awkwardness involved in a going on a first date can sometimes be too much to handle...</h2><p>Despite what every dating app tries to tell us, your soulmate might not be simply a swipe away. Sometimes you have to endure a lot of nightmare happy hour and coffee dates with painful conversation and impressive lack of chemistry before you meet &quot;the one.&quot; Still, at least a hilariously failed romantic connection can be a good story for your friends during the post-date text debrief. Figuring out who is going to pay the check or if you should split it, when to go for a kiss, whether or not you should get a post-dinner drink at a different location, or trying to find an excuse to bail entirely if there&#39;s absolutely no chance you ever want to see that person again is a lot ot juggle in the treacherous territory of dating.</p><p>So, when a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tghtj/whats_the_worst_thing_you_have_donesaid_on_a/">Reddit </a>user asked, &quot;What&#39;s the worst thing you have done/said on a first date?&quot; people were ready to share their horror stories that started with, &quot;let&#39;s get a coffee some time.&quot;</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>1.</h2><blockquote> <p>First real date ever: I am extremely nervous, dry mouth, sweaty palms, the whole 9 yards. I washed and cleaned my car. I took a shower with fancy soaps, was ready! I drove up to her house, shook hands with her mother, met the family, made jokes and broke the ice. I was still nervous, but it was subsiding, and I was on my way to victory. I remembered to open the car door for her and proceeded to slam the door on her leg as she was getting situated. Date over. - usedbooks</p> </blockquote><h2>2.</h2><blockquote> <p>Blind date. (Never again.) We went for a romantic walk by the park. We saw a small raccoon. He screams like a prepubescent boy and it hisses at him as it calmly walks away from him. I comfort him, giggle and call him silly-buns and in the middle of my explanation about city animals and how to deal with them, he turns around suddenly and yells, &quot;You hurt my pride and you&#39;re using words I don&#39;t understand to explain something I don&#39;t fucking care about. I&#39;m gone.&quot; Apparently I&#39;m too knowledgeable? - katrinagoskaboom</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3.</h2><blockquote> <p>I asked a guy out, yay me! He was too socially awkward to do it, I gathered my imaginary testicles and did it myself. We got drunk on this date (well, he did, because he tried to keep up with me. rookie error.) and missed his bus. I said he could sleep in my room. Said he could sleep in my bed. Several times. He took the floor. He said he wanted to be gentlemanly.<br /> I said I was turning off the light. He said, &#39;no, wait, I want to say goodnight!&#39; Finally. I might at least get a kiss from the guy I&#39;d been staring creepily at for 7 months.</p> <p>He said &#39;goodnight&#39; and offered his hand. For a high five. He actually gave me a high five. So this story was not what <em>I</em> did, but what <em>he</em> did, and now my friends high five me everytime I leave the room. - Melivora</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><blockquote> <p>Happened two days ago &quot;I failed grade nine applied math twice. But I&#39;m not really a thinker, I&#39;m a doer. Sometimes I actually need a calculator to count to ten.&quot;</p> <p>After this I was like &#39;Omg time to go water my cat&#39; and drove her home, skipping every stop sign on the way. Twenty five minute date, my fastest yet! - JupiterDeusMaximus</p> </blockquote><h2>5.</h2><blockquote> <p>Took a girl out to dinner. During dinner, I notice a scar on her arm, I ask about it. &quot;I got hit by a car while I was crossing the street a few years ago.&quot; Go for a walk after dinner to get some coffee across the street. By now, completely forgot about the got-hit-by-a-car story. Crosswalk light is about to turn red. I say &quot;We can make it&quot; and we start rushing across the street. We almost get hit by a car. Yeah, no second date. - Piratiko</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6.</h2><blockquote> <p>When we turned off the lights and I lifted my t-shirt, I accidently punched her on her nose-piercing with my ellbow. that was not the night i got laid - mousestar</p> </blockquote><h2>7.</h2><blockquote> <p>Not me, but my best friend. He was on a date with some girl once and they were having a good time, sitting in his room listening to music and talking. She picked up a heating pad and said, &quot;This would be so nice on me right now,&quot; and he jokingly said, &quot;Yeah. I wonder if it will work on my cold, lonely heart.&quot; She promptly left.</p> <p><em>I</em> thought it was funny. - ilestledisko</p> </blockquote><h2>8.</h2><blockquote> <p>I went to pick her up and her brother answered the door. He was holding a DS playing Pokemon. As I waited for her to come down, I proceeded to talk to him about it in depth. She heard everything... - RingAnswerHello</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9.</h2><blockquote> <p>The conversation was getting a bit sexy, things were definitely warming up. Our hands were exploring some. She asked me about past conquests, girls I&#39;d been with, things we&#39;d done, etc.</p> <p>So since she prompted me, I told her this story about this girl I&#39;d been with a few times, just as a hook-up, no dating. Turns out, even though I didn&#39;t mention names, there were enough details for her to figure it out, because she knew the girl...her cousin.</p> <p>Also, as it happens, the cousin not only thought that were dating, but had thought we were dating exclusively until I dumped her for no reason. That realization and the conversation that came from it was a bit awkward... - ronearc</p> </blockquote><h2>10.</h2><blockquote> <p>We used to work together back when I was a senior in high school and she was a freshman, in college... we were semi good friends and we had both gotten out of relationships a few months prior. Our first date was a free movie at the movie theater we both worked at. We got our milkshakes from the mall, our popcorm, nachos and snacks from the concession stand, and as we were walking to our theater I had an uncomfortable look on my face and she could tell I was trying to keep down a fresh milkshake pop corn burp... she laughed and told me it was ok and that I could burp.</p> <p>I felt instantly comfortable around her as soon as she said that. so I burped a decent sized burp... THEN blew it in her face. I dont know WHY I did... not sure what made me think it was ok to do that... but I did... luckily she was able to see the cruel immature humor in it and we just had our 5 year &quot;dating&quot; anniversary 4 days ago. - jt10cma</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><blockquote> <p>Not me but my friend, took a girl to see the play I was in on a first date so I got to witness it. While getting ready to leave, he puts on his coat and BAM punches her straight in the nose. Broke it.</p> <p>I have never had to stop from laughing so much while taking a bow. - AdmanUK</p> </blockquote><h2>12.</h2><blockquote> <p>Talked about my boyfriend. In my defense, I didn&#39;t realize that I was on a date. - [deleted]</p> </blockquote><h2>13.</h2><blockquote> <p>I was on a date with this girl, we were hanging out at my house, watching a movie, having dinner, very casual. At the end of the night, I walk her outside and to her car in the driveway and we&#39;re just standing there. She says she had a good time and she&#39;ll come to have a drink with me on the weekend blah blah blah, that old song and dance. She was getting ready to hug me goodbye, and my mind went BLANK and I just kind of poked her. Yes, <em>poked</em> her, with my finger... on her side, like &quot;heh, thanks for coming over...&quot; Her face was priceless. Then she said, &quot;Ok... welp, see ya.&quot; - Bad_as*ness</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14.</h2><blockquote> <p>Backing out of my driveway, girl in passenger seat, I backed right into my neighbor&#39;s car which was parked on the road. No serious damage, but we had to wait for the police to come, and it cost me $700... - [deleted]</p> </blockquote><h2>15.</h2><blockquote> <p>direct quote, right after dinner in the car. &quot;So, do you want to make out&quot;</p> <p>Oh god, why. - thrilliam</p> </blockquote><h2>16.</h2><blockquote> <p>I cut all of my hair off for cancer and when she asked why I cut all of my hair off I said &quot;I did it for cancer, what have you done for cancer?&quot; - [deleted]</p> </blockquote><h2>17.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I think I&#39;m in love with you&quot; - [deleted]</p> </blockquote><h2>18.</h2><blockquote> <p>We were laughing and chatting on the way to the theater, and she mentioned how much she loved being swung around by her arms as a little girl. Our attempt to replicate that experiment in the parking lot did not end well - I basically swung her into a mud puddle.</p> <p>No second date. - Plethorian</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>19.</h2><blockquote> <p>Drank too much, fell on my a*s as we were walking out of the bar, told him to leave me there to die. I didn&#39;t realize I had my iphone in my back pocket when I fell until we were half way to my house, proceeded to cry about it. We still dated for a few months. - bbzzzz</p> </blockquote><h2>20.</h2><blockquote> <p>In high school I went on a first date, and he was driving. While riding in the car I was talking about how the lilacs were in bloom and how they were my favorite. Just then he decides to pull the car up next to a bush of them and roll down the window so I could pick one. Except he sort of revved the engine and ran into the bush, but he had already rolled down my window. When I looked at him my face was full of blood and deep scratches from all of the branches. - 0-1-1-2-3-5-8-13-21</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2> </h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

20 funny and embarrassing first date stories to help you avoid dating disasters.

Every love story has to start somewhere, but the awkwardness involved in a going on a first date can sometimes be too much to handle...Despite what every dating app tries to tell us, your soulmate might not be simply a swipe away. Sometimes you have to endure a lot of nightmare happy hour and coffee dates with painful conversation and impressive lack of chemistry before you meet &quot;the one.&quot; Still, at least a hilariously failed romantic connection can be a good story for your friends during the post-date text debrief. Figuring out who is going to pay the check or if you should split it, when to go for a kiss, whether or not you should get a post-dinner drink at a different location, or trying to find an excuse to bail entirely if there&#39;s absolutely no chance you ever want to see that person again is a lot ot juggle in the treacherous territory of dating.So, when a Reddit user asked, &quot;What&#39;s the worst thing you have done/said on a first date?&quot; people were ready to share their horror stories that started with, &quot;let&#39;s get a coffee some time.&quot;1. First real date ever: I am extremely nervous, dry mouth, sweaty palms, the whole 9 yards. I washed and cleaned my car. I took a shower with fancy soaps, was ready! I drove up to her house, shook hands with her mother, met the family, made jokes and broke the ice. I was still nervous, but it was subsiding, and I was on my way to victory. I remembered to open the car door for her and proceeded to slam the door on her leg as she was getting situated. Date over. - usedbooks 2. Blind date. (Never again.) We went for a romantic walk by the park. We saw a small raccoon. He screams like a prepubescent boy and it hisses at him as it calmly walks away from him. I comfort him, giggle and call him silly-buns and in the middle of my explanation about city animals and how to deal with them, he turns around suddenly and yells, &quot;You hurt my pride and you&#39;re using words I don&#39;t understand to explain something I don&#39;t fucking care about. I&#39;m gone.&quot; Apparently I&#39;m too knowledgeable? - katrinagoskaboom 3. I asked a guy out, yay me! He was too socially awkward to do it, I gathered my imaginary testicles and did it myself. We got drunk on this date (well, he did, because he tried to keep up with me. rookie error.) and missed his bus. I said he could sleep in my room. Said he could sleep in my bed. Several times. He took the floor. He said he wanted to be gentlemanly. I said I was turning off the light. He said, &#39;no, wait, I want to say goodnight!&#39; Finally. I might at least get a kiss from the guy I&#39;d been staring creepily at for 7 months. He said &#39;goodnight&#39; and offered his hand. For a high five. He actually gave me a high five. So this story was not what I did, but what he did, and now my friends high five me everytime I leave the room. - Melivora 4. Happened two days ago &quot;I failed grade nine applied math twice. But I&#39;m not really a thinker, I&#39;m a doer. Sometimes I actually need a calculator to count to ten.&quot; After this I was like &#39;Omg time to go water my cat&#39; and drove her home, skipping every stop sign on the way. Twenty five minute date, my fastest yet! - JupiterDeusMaximus 5. Took a girl out to dinner. During dinner, I notice a scar on her arm, I ask about it. &quot;I got hit by a car while I was crossing the street a few years ago.&quot; Go for a walk after dinner to get some coffee across the street. By now, completely forgot about the got-hit-by-a-car story. Crosswalk light is about to turn red. I say &quot;We can make it&quot; and we start rushing across the street. We almost get hit by a car. Yeah, no second date. - Piratiko 6. When we turned off the lights and I lifted my t-shirt, I accidently punched her on her nose-piercing with my ellbow. that was not the night i got laid - mousestar 7. Not me, but my best friend. He was on a date with some girl once and they were having a good time, sitting in his room listening to music and talking. She picked up a heating pad and said, &quot;This would be so nice on me right now,&quot; and he jokingly said, &quot;Yeah. I wonder if it will work on my cold, lonely heart.&quot; She promptly left. I thought it was funny. - ilestledisko 8. I went to pick her up and her brother answered the door. He was holding a DS playing Pokemon. As I waited for her to come down, I proceeded to talk to him about it in depth. She heard everything... - RingAnswerHello 9. The conversation was getting a bit sexy, things were definitely warming up. Our hands were exploring some. She asked me about past conquests, girls I&#39;d been with, things we&#39;d done, etc. So since she prompted me, I told her this story about this girl I&#39;d been with a few times, just as a hook-up, no dating. Turns out, even though I didn&#39;t mention names, there were enough details for her to figure it out, because she knew the girl...her cousin. Also, as it happens, the cousin not only thought that were dating, but had thought we were dating exclusively until I dumped her for no reason. That realization and the conversation that came from it was a bit awkward... - ronearc 10. We used to work together back when I was a senior in high school and she was a freshman, in college... we were semi good friends and we had both gotten out of relationships a few months prior. Our first date was a free movie at the movie theater we both worked at. We got our milkshakes from the mall, our popcorm, nachos and snacks from the concession stand, and as we were walking to our theater I had an uncomfortable look on my face and she could tell I was trying to keep down a fresh milkshake pop corn burp... she laughed and told me it was ok and that I could burp. I felt instantly comfortable around her as soon as she said that. so I burped a decent sized burp... THEN blew it in her face. I dont know WHY I did... not sure what made me think it was ok to do that... but I did... luckily she was able to see the cruel immature humor in it and we just had our 5 year &quot;dating&quot; anniversary 4 days ago. - jt10cma 11. Not me but my friend, took a girl to see the play I was in on a first date so I got to witness it. While getting ready to leave, he puts on his coat and BAM punches her straight in the nose. Broke it. I have never had to stop from laughing so much while taking a bow. - AdmanUK 12. Talked about my boyfriend. In my defense, I didn&#39;t realize that I was on a date. - [deleted] 13. I was on a date with this girl, we were hanging out at my house, watching a movie, having dinner, very casual. At the end of the night, I walk her outside and to her car in the driveway and we&#39;re just standing there. She says she had a good time and she&#39;ll come to have a drink with me on the weekend blah blah blah, that old song and dance. She was getting ready to hug me goodbye, and my mind went BLANK and I just kind of poked her. Yes, poked her, with my finger... on her side, like &quot;heh, thanks for coming over...&quot; Her face was priceless. Then she said, &quot;Ok... welp, see ya.&quot; - Bad_as*ness 14. Backing out of my driveway, girl in passenger seat, I backed right into my neighbor&#39;s car which was parked on the road. No serious damage, but we had to wait for the police to come, and it cost me $700... - [deleted] 15. direct quote, right after dinner in the car. &quot;So, do you want to make out&quot; Oh god, why. - thrilliam 16. I cut all of my hair off for cancer and when she asked why I cut all of my hair off I said &quot;I did it for cancer, what have you done for cancer?&quot; - [deleted] 17. &quot;I think I&#39;m in love with you&quot; - [deleted] 18. We were laughing and chatting on the way to the theater, and she mentioned how much she loved being swung around by her arms as a little girl. Our attempt to replicate that experiment in the parking lot did not end well - I basically swung her into a mud puddle. No second date. - Plethorian 19. Drank too much, fell on my a*s as we were walking out of the bar, told him to leave me there to die. I didn&#39;t realize I had my iphone in my back pocket when I fell until we were half way to my house, proceeded to cry about it. We still dated for a few months. - bbzzzz 20. In high school I went on a first date, and he was driving. While riding in the car I was talking about how the lilacs were in bloom and how they were my favorite. Just then he decides to pull the car up next to a bush of them and roll down the window so I could pick one. Except he sort of revved the engine and ran into the bush, but he had already rolled down my window. When I looked at him my face was full of blood and deep scratches from all of the branches. - 0-1-1-2-3-5-8-13-21  

Every love story has to start somewhere, but the awkwardness involved in a going on a first date can sometimes be too much to handle...  Despite what every dating app tries to tell us, your soulmate might not be simply a swipe away....