Every year when LGBTQIA Pride Month rolls around, there are detractors who make false equivalences and ask the exhausting question: Why isn't there a Straight Pride parade?!

To most people, regardless of sexuality or political standing, it only takes a few minutes of critical thinking to figure out why Straight Pride isn't necessary. Straight people aren't brutalized, mocked and systemically discriminated against.

Roughly 95% of romantic representation in the media centers around straight people and the concept of being forced to "come out" as straight sounds more like an SNL sketch than a reality.

That being said, the city of Boston is begrudgingly gearing up to host a Straight Pride Parade at the end of summer after organizer Mark Sahady threatened a discrimination complaint against Boston for permission to fly their straight pride flag.

It’s LGBT pride month, but three guys in Boston want a permit for a "Straight Pride" parade https://t.co/ZREEWNn44m
— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) June 4, 2019

The inspiration for the Straight Pride Parade was launched by a small group of men known as "Super Happy Fun America," a group that aims to "celebrate the diverse history, culture, and contributions of the straight community."

“Straight Pride” parade planned in Boston. With floats. pic.twitter.com/JcTsGRjNPn
— carolynryan (@carolynryan) June 4, 2019

On Facebook, organizer Sahady wrote: "If you would like to come as an individual, march as a group, or bring a float or vehicle, then get in touch. This is our chance to have a patriotic parade in Boston as we celebrate straight pride."

Just FYI the organizer of the proposed "Straight Pride Parade" in Boston, Mark Sahady, was the same guy who organized the "Free Speech Rally" in 2017 that had about 50 participants total and were met with 30,000-40,000 protesters.
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) June 4, 2019

Needless to say, people have been dragging the hell out of the concept of a Straight Pride parade, as they well should.

Will “Straight Pride” be a Freaky Friday type situation where all of our history books, movies, stories, media, news, etc feature mostly LGBTQ+ people & perspectives?

Will people have to come out as straight?

What would folks march in? Socks w/ sandals on? Dad jeans? https://t.co/7SUiWHWRMd
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) June 5, 2019

The straight pride parade will be mostly men because very few women will get to come.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 4, 2019

Straight Pride Parade float themes:

Heterophobia
Reverse Racism
Toxic Femininity

Do you see why it’s a fucking stupid idea yet or do I have to paint you a rainbow?
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 4, 2019

You know you're messing up when Smash Mouth gets involved.

Straight Pride Parade????? FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!
— Smash Mouth (@smashmouth) June 4, 2019

boston straight pride parade u have to come in costume as your favorite mark wahlberg character everyone walks around ordering a cranberry juice at a bar and saying how do u like them apples ........ madness
— hunter harris (@hunteryharris) June 4, 2019

The Straight Pride Parade is every weekend when you see four dudes in polos waking back to their campus at 2am looking very bummed that they didn’t get laid.
— Tim Ross (@TimRossComedy) June 3, 2019

Truly, all of the jokes are here to make and all of them are well deserved.

To my understanding, the straight pride parade is just the checkout line at Costco.
— Nick Wanserski (@NWanserski) June 4, 2019

I’d imagine a straight pride parade to be something like this but in the worst way? pic.twitter.com/j3Kal4ueOq
— libby (@1ibby) June 4, 2019

The Boston Straight Pride Parade pic.twitter.com/5OuFucYHJg
— Golden State is a Pee Thing (@LeBronMaclean) June 4, 2019

All of the jokes roasting the Straight Pride parade may provide the first time these men have faced any sort of personal and emotional obstacles, so their self-professed status as marginalized is manifesting its own "struggle."

a straight pride parade would unironically be excellent to watch because

1- parades are gay as hell

2- there’s no way a parade put on by straight dudes wouldn’t be hilariously bad. it would reach tpusa diaper levels

pls let the boston straights do this.
— hasanabi (@hasanthehun) June 5, 2019

if the straight pride parade happens, I might actually stand a chance on Xbox Live for a couple of hours
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) June 5, 2019

Found this in a fb thread where some guy is talking about organizing a straight pride parade. Hilarious and accurate! pic.twitter.com/V8INRY5GiN
— 💖Jessie 💛 Bee 💙 (@seejessiedraw) June 4, 2019

As of now, the Straight Pride Parade is potentially slated for August 31st, but I have no doubt in my mind the entire internet will be all ears for updates.

Everyone is dragging Boston's 'straight pride' parade back into the Costco it came from.