While weddings are supposed to be beautiful celebrations of love, sometimes they can bring out the worst in people. Is it possible to bring families and friends together to celebrate a relationship without any drama at all? If movies, reality TV shows and every real experience any of us have ever had with a wedding have taught us anything, the answer is probably not...
Luckily, there's the AITA (Am I the Asshole?) section of Reddit to vent to. When a groom took to the internet to explain his complicated relationship with his mother, people were ready to help.
Let's dive in, shall we?
So I'm (29M) getting married to my fiance (28F) in a few weeks. Everything is planned and ready, so now it's just waiting until the big day. Both my wife and our families couldn't be more excited!
I have a slight problem on my family's side though: my mother. She's super sweet to everyone and couldn't be happier for me. However, she has a problem being around my dad. Both my parents divorced when I was around 4-5 years old after he cheated on her. While my dad's actions were inexcusable, he realized how badly he messed up afterward. Eventually, we forgave him and everyone moved on in life. My mom, however, still hasn't. She doesn't like when I talk about when dad and I hang out. Despite her not seeing him in over 25 years, she can't stand the thought of physically being around him.
This happened before when I enlisted in the military a few years earlier. When I was swearing in at MEPS, my mom didn't come to the ceremony. The reason? It was because my dad was there and he wanted to see me swear in too, even though I asked my parents ahead of time if they were okay with the other being there (both of whom said "yes"). Her excuse? "Oh, well, it's just too awkward for me! I hope you understand!!"
Despite the awkwardness, my dad has moved on and is okay with seeing my mom, but not the other way around. I honestly believe my mom is being incredibly selfish still by refusing to let it go for one day for my wife and me. I don't care if she goes back to her ways after our wedding, I just want everyone to get along for ONE DAY. Is that too much to ask?
I plan to sit down with her and give her an ultimatum: "You are more than welcome to attend the wedding, but you need to accept that my dad will be there too. You don't have to speak with him or even look in his general direction if you don't want to, but you do need to accept it. Honestly, it's been over 25 years since you two divorced. If you can't get over it for one day, then you may as well not even come."
Would this be too harsh? I feel if I don't say something, there may be some friction between the two.