A phrase hit the internet a few years back that perfectly sums up the homophobia expressed by a lot of straight men. The phrase itself is "Homophobia: The Fear That Gay Men Will Treat You The Way You Treat Women."

Homophobia: the fear that us gay men will treat you straight men the same way you treat women
— evan 🏳️‍🌈 (@thedetroithomo) June 9, 2019

The phrase itself pretty much says it all: homophobic men often fear they'll be harassed by gay men in the same way women are leered at by men on the street. Unsurprisingly, many of the same men who act confused about the "gray areas" around sexual harassment and consent quickly grasp the concept when another man is harassing them.

Because of this, sometimes the best way to get a man to leave a woman alone is to give him a heaping dose of his own creepy medicine.

In a recent post on the subreddit Am I The Asshole, a man wrote about how his girlfriend was getting harassed by a man in her class.

Since his girlfriend didn't want him to make a scene (for fear of blowback), OP decided to give the other dude a taste of his own medicine.

"AITA for hitting on a guy who was making my girlfriend uncomfortable"

OP started the post by sharing that his girlfriend is in her first year of getting her PhD, in a class of mostly men.

One of the guys in her department has made OP's girlfriend feel uncomfortable with sexual comments on multiple occasions, but since she's new and he's almost done, she hasn't wanted to make a scene.

"My girlfriend invited me out to meet up with some other members from her department. Her department is almost all men. I've met a few of them, but hadn't met everyone that was coming out. I knew that one guy in the department hung around with everyone else (small department so everyone hangs out together) but he made my girlfriend really uncomfortable with making sexual comments about her and getting a little too close for her comfort, but she didn't want to make a scene about it because she just finished her first year and he's almost done with his PhD and is a big deal in the department."

The other night OP was invited to hang out with his girlfriend and her fellow PhD department members, and when he arrived the creepy classmate had taken the seat save for OP and was obviously trying to touch his girlfriend.

"I was a little late getting over there, but when I got there, I could tell immediately which guy it was. I later found out that my girlfriend had been saving me a seat, but he had taken it and refused to move. He had his arm on the back of her chair and had his body turned towards her and was touching her knee with his other hand. My girlfriend was leaning so far away from him that she was basically in the seat of the guy on her other side. Everyone looked uncomfortable except for this one guy."

Since OP knew his girlfriend didn't want him to cause a scene with a straight-up confrontation, he went the creative route and plopped himself next to the creepy classmate and proceeded to graze the man's knee and back.

Essentially, OP was just mirroring the creepy classmate's behavior towards his girlfriend.

"I knew she wouldn't want me to make a scene and call him out, again because of blowback on her. I sat down on his other side and introduced myself. He kept making comments and touching my girlfriend's leg while I was sitting right there, and at one point he turned his back to me and totally boxed me out. My girlfriend kept taking his hand off her knee and he kept putting it back. So I decided to start mirroring his actions. I put my arm around him and started rubbing his shoulder and whispering to him. He pushed my hand away and I put it right back. It took about 30 seconds for him to jump up and yell "IM NOT GAY" and then he stormed out of the bar."

It only took a few moments of this before the creepy classmate jumped up and yelled "I'm not gay" before stomping out of the bar in anger.

"The other guys in the department laughed about it and spent some time talking about how creepy he was, but my girlfriend later told me that she thinks I took it a bit too far and she could've just kept putting up with it. Am I an asshole for being creepy to this guy who was touching my girlfriend?"

This of course pointed out the creepy classmate's hypocrisy, and highlighted the inappropriate nature of his body language towards OP's girlfriend.

The rest of the department members thought OP's tactic was funny, and they agreed on the creepiness of the classmate, but OP's girlfriend felt it went too far.

As any modern man would, OP opted to bring the situation to the internet for their opinions on how he handled the situation.

Jorojr thinks OP was in the right, and that the school department is horrible at handling harassment.

"NTA. The fact that everyone in the damn department has elected to look the other way is quite appalling actually."

hircc believes everyone is an asshole except OP and his girlfriend.

"Yeah, this post is an example for all the people that downplay sexism in the workplace. I praise every woman that survives this stuff and makes it in science in academia."

MrProspero called out the hypocrisy of academia in this scenario, and thought OP's handling was both effective and respectful to his girlfriend.

"This is what academia is like. Loud feminist values when they're criticizing common folk who don't have PhDs, but they utterly refuse to clean out their own sexist garbage. This is why people in the middle of the country don't take their "pro-woman" stance seriously. Same thing goes for racism, to be honest."

"NTA. I enjoyed your solution very much. You were respectful to your girlfriends wish not to make waves, and instead let the creep make a fool of himself. Her department should be standing up for her, but since they're not, I think what you did was the most civilized approach."

tim5700 has used OP's same tactic many times.

"No. I go to trade shows with young, female co-workers. Dudes tend to get a little handsy, etc. We have a "equal hugging policy." Every guy that insists on hugging one of the girls, I hug that guy. For just a little bit too long."

PsychoKuros hit the nail of the issue on the head.

"NTA

Looks like he doesn't like being treated the way he treats women."

YoonLolina thought OP was in the right, but also defended the girlfriend for not feeling able to stand up for herself in this context.

"NTA and amen to this comment.

The best way to deal with these type of men is for people to treat them exactly how they treat women. I would have paid to see you do it."

"Still, I can see how your girlfriend would feel uncomfortable about it. Don’t make her feel guilty for not causing a scene, because honestly: it was the guy that made the scene, not you or her."

"But talk to her about what happened and why. It wasn’t you being jealous, it was you standing up to her. A good heartfelt talk about what happened would help the both of you."

Oburcuk pointed out the fact that creepy men KNOW what consent is when they're the ones being harassed.

"Yeah it’s funny how men suddenly understand what consent is when they’re on the receiving end of unwanted advances"

A female PhD student was being sexually harassed, so her boyfriend decided to hit on the harasser.