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<p>It can be hard to figure out the line between being a supportive friend and calling out bad behavior. This truth is multiplied when it comes to the romantic relationships of a close friend, everyone has different priorities and moral boundaries when it comes to romance, and finding the space between honesty and acceptance can be incredibly hard with close friends.</p><p>The subject of cheating is deeply controversial for many. Some people will turn a blind eye to a friend&#39;s cheating, because they don&#39;t believe it&#39;s their place to meddle. Others, however, feel a moral responsibility to confront the cheater or even reveal the cheating to their friend&#39;s betrayed partner.</p><h2>In a recent post on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cp84nd/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_best_friends_best_man/" target="_blank">the subreddit Am I The *sshole</a>, a man shared his conflict about being best man in the wedding of a friend marrying their mistress.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;AITA for refusing to be my best friend&#39;s best man when he marries his second wife, who is his former mistress?&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>OP kicked off the post by sharing that his best friend cheated on his late wife with his current fiance.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;My best friend is getting married to his second wife, who was his mistress when he was still married to his first wife. He asked me to be his best man and I refused.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>While they&#39;re both single now, OP doesn&#39;t feel comfortable celebrating their marriage given how the relationship started.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I told him that didn&#39;t want to do it because it felt like supporting their &#39;regularized&#39; adultery. It was found out that he had been cheating on his late wife with his current fiancee for years. His wife died last year, now he is free to marry his mistress and wants me to be there to celebrate with him? It just feels wrong.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>OP&#39;s best friend expressed sadness at the call-out, and asked why OP can&#39;t just be supportive at the wedding.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;He was disappointed and said that he just wants his best friend to be there for him, not to judge him. He also defended that the fact that they had a relationship while he was still married is irrelevant because they are both single now and are free to marry each other. Furthermore, I didn&#39;t even like his late wife that much.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Yeah, I didn&#39;t like her, but that doesn&#39;t mean I would have supported my best friend cheating on her and that doesn&#39;t mean I&#39;ll feel comfortable watching him get married to his former mistress.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP went on to clarify that their friendship goes way back, which makes it feel difficult to completely remove himself from the friendship.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Edit: because I&#39;m getting tired of explaining myself.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;I consider him my best friend because we have known each other for 20 years and were really the best of friends during that time. When I learned about his affair, I gave him a piece of my mind about what a POS he is for cheating on his wife and told him I would never look at him the same again.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>A lot of people cut OP&#39;s friend off after learning about the affair, but OP has stuck with the friendship partially to lend extra support to his friend&#39;s kids.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;A lot of people cut him off after learning of the affair. I would have done that also but he lives far from family and has three young children who are suddenly without their mom. We live five minutes away. If he needed someone to look after the kids because he was meeting with his lawyer or working late, of course I didn&#39;t say I hate the fact that you cheated so I&#39;m cutting you out of my life.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP rarely goes out to socialize with his friend in public settings anymore, he does regularly check in on the family following the death of his friend&#39;s wife.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I help him and check on him and the kids but we don&#39;t hang out socially because as I said I can&#39;t look at him the same. Which is probably more than our other friends have done because they cut him off. The kids have been adjusting and I am helping them out and checking on them less these past few months.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cp84nd/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_best_friends_best_man/" target="_blank">RealBettyWhite69</a> thinks OP is completely right about the situation.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA. I really admire your integrity and think you should stick to your guns on this one.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cp84nd/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_best_friends_best_man/" target="_blank">inevitablegirlie</a> thinks OP is making the right decision, but pointed out how hard it will be for the friendship to weather this.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA. Cheaters are *ssholes, and you&#39;re certainly not an asshole for wanting to stand on principle. Just make sure you&#39;re prepared for the consequences, because I doubt he&#39;s ever going to forget or forgive this.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cp84nd/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_best_friends_best_man/" target="_blank">SelfANew </a>thinks OP needs to face the facts that they&#39;re no longer best friends, and OP is more of an uncle figure to the kids.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA</p> <p><em><strong>But...&quot;</strong></em></p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>A lot of people cut him off after learning of the affair. <em><strong>I would have done that also but</strong></em> he lives far from family and has three young children who are suddenly without their mom.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>&quot;Time to come to terms with the fact that he isn&#39;t your best friend. You&#39;re there for the kids, not him. He needs to realize this, too. You&#39;re like an uncle to the kids, not a friend for him. It isn&#39;t ever going to be magically fixed.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;You can&#39;t look at him the same way anymore. He will never forget that you said no to this. You two aren&#39;t going to be able to work that out. He doesn&#39;t seem to realize that yet, as he&#39;s asked you to be in the wedding.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/nerdspartying/">nerdspartying</a> thinks it&#39;s completely reasonable for OP to draw this line while still maintaining a friendship.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA. It&#39;s ok to be friends with someone and not support or agree with every decision they make. You can still love your friend, despite his flaws, even after he marries this woman, but I definitely understand your apprehension about standing next to him at the event and celebrating the situation.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cp84nd/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_best_friends_best_man/ewntibo/" target="_blank">OneTwoWee000</a> thinks OP is completely in the right, and that the best friend is a supreme jerk.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;This is so disgusting. So if it wasn&rsquo;t for her best friend, this guy would have played the &ldquo;bereaved widower&rdquo; roles with impunity all while having his mistress waiting in the wings to be introduced as a new relationship once the appropriate amount of time had passed.. he probably would have introduced her to the kids as a helpful &ldquo;friend&rdquo; during the period they&rsquo;re biding their time to go public. Ugh. He&rsquo;s such an *ss.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;You&rsquo;re NTA. I hope the grandparents and uncle are successful in their bid for custody. The dad&rsquo;s judgment is not sound &mdash; he&rsquo;s been cut off by most of his friends, pissed off his in-laws, but still is trying to push through marriage to his mistress only 8 months after his wife died. He&rsquo;s awful.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>At the time of writing, most of the commenters agree with OP&#39;s decision. The most difficult task at hand will likely be figuring out how to break the news and navigate the friendship from here on out.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Guy refuses to be his BFF's best man after learning he cheated on his late wife.

It can be hard to figure out the line between being a supportive friend and calling out bad behavior. This truth is multiplied when it comes to the romantic relationships of a close friend, everyone has different priorities and moral boundaries when it comes to romance, and finding the space between honesty and acceptance can be incredibly hard with close friends.The subject of cheating is deeply controversial for many. Some people will turn a blind eye to a friend&#39;s cheating, because they don&#39;t believe it&#39;s their place to meddle. Others, however, feel a moral responsibility to confront the cheater or even reveal the cheating to their friend&#39;s betrayed partner.In a recent post on the subreddit Am I The *sshole, a man shared his conflict about being best man in the wedding of a friend marrying their mistress. &quot;AITA for refusing to be my best friend&#39;s best man when he marries his second wife, who is his former mistress?&quot; OP kicked off the post by sharing that his best friend cheated on his late wife with his current fiance. &quot;My best friend is getting married to his second wife, who was his mistress when he was still married to his first wife. He asked me to be his best man and I refused.&quot; While they&#39;re both single now, OP doesn&#39;t feel comfortable celebrating their marriage given how the relationship started. &quot;I told him that didn&#39;t want to do it because it felt like supporting their &#39;regularized&#39; adultery. It was found out that he had been cheating on his late wife with his current fiancee for years. His wife died last year, now he is free to marry his mistress and wants me to be there to celebrate with him? It just feels wrong.&quot; OP&#39;s best friend expressed sadness at the call-out, and asked why OP can&#39;t just be supportive at the wedding. &quot;He was disappointed and said that he just wants his best friend to be there for him, not to judge him. He also defended that the fact that they had a relationship while he was still married is irrelevant because they are both single now and are free to marry each other. Furthermore, I didn&#39;t even like his late wife that much.&quot;  &quot;Yeah, I didn&#39;t like her, but that doesn&#39;t mean I would have supported my best friend cheating on her and that doesn&#39;t mean I&#39;ll feel comfortable watching him get married to his former mistress.&quot; OP went on to clarify that their friendship goes way back, which makes it feel difficult to completely remove himself from the friendship. &quot;Edit: because I&#39;m getting tired of explaining myself.&quot;  &quot;I consider him my best friend because we have known each other for 20 years and were really the best of friends during that time. When I learned about his affair, I gave him a piece of my mind about what a POS he is for cheating on his wife and told him I would never look at him the same again.&quot; A lot of people cut OP&#39;s friend off after learning about the affair, but OP has stuck with the friendship partially to lend extra support to his friend&#39;s kids. &quot;A lot of people cut him off after learning of the affair. I would have done that also but he lives far from family and has three young children who are suddenly without their mom. We live five minutes away. If he needed someone to look after the kids because he was meeting with his lawyer or working late, of course I didn&#39;t say I hate the fact that you cheated so I&#39;m cutting you out of my life.&quot; OP rarely goes out to socialize with his friend in public settings anymore, he does regularly check in on the family following the death of his friend&#39;s wife. &quot;I help him and check on him and the kids but we don&#39;t hang out socially because as I said I can&#39;t look at him the same. Which is probably more than our other friends have done because they cut him off. The kids have been adjusting and I am helping them out and checking on them less these past few months.&quot; RealBettyWhite69 thinks OP is completely right about the situation. &quot;NTA. I really admire your integrity and think you should stick to your guns on this one.&quot; inevitablegirlie thinks OP is making the right decision, but pointed out how hard it will be for the friendship to weather this. &quot;NTA. Cheaters are *ssholes, and you&#39;re certainly not an asshole for wanting to stand on principle. Just make sure you&#39;re prepared for the consequences, because I doubt he&#39;s ever going to forget or forgive this.&quot; SelfANew thinks OP needs to face the facts that they&#39;re no longer best friends, and OP is more of an uncle figure to the kids. &quot;NTA But...&quot;  A lot of people cut him off after learning of the affair. I would have done that also but he lives far from family and has three young children who are suddenly without their mom.  &quot;Time to come to terms with the fact that he isn&#39;t your best friend. You&#39;re there for the kids, not him. He needs to realize this, too. You&#39;re like an uncle to the kids, not a friend for him. It isn&#39;t ever going to be magically fixed.&quot;  &quot;You can&#39;t look at him the same way anymore. He will never forget that you said no to this. You two aren&#39;t going to be able to work that out. He doesn&#39;t seem to realize that yet, as he&#39;s asked you to be in the wedding.&quot; nerdspartying thinks it&#39;s completely reasonable for OP to draw this line while still maintaining a friendship. &quot;NTA. It&#39;s ok to be friends with someone and not support or agree with every decision they make. You can still love your friend, despite his flaws, even after he marries this woman, but I definitely understand your apprehension about standing next to him at the event and celebrating the situation.&quot; OneTwoWee000 thinks OP is completely in the right, and that the best friend is a supreme jerk. &quot;This is so disgusting. So if it wasn&rsquo;t for her best friend, this guy would have played the &ldquo;bereaved widower&rdquo; roles with impunity all while having his mistress waiting in the wings to be introduced as a new relationship once the appropriate amount of time had passed.. he probably would have introduced her to the kids as a helpful &ldquo;friend&rdquo; during the period they&rsquo;re biding their time to go public. Ugh. He&rsquo;s such an *ss.&quot;  &quot;You&rsquo;re NTA. I hope the grandparents and uncle are successful in their bid for custody. The dad&rsquo;s judgment is not sound &mdash; he&rsquo;s been cut off by most of his friends, pissed off his in-laws, but still is trying to push through marriage to his mistress only 8 months after his wife died. He&rsquo;s awful.&quot; At the time of writing, most of the commenters agree with OP&#39;s decision. The most difficult task at hand will likely be figuring out how to break the news and navigate the friendship from here on out.

It can be hard to figure out the line between being a supportive friend and calling out bad behavior.