Every day presents a fresh opportunity for a man online to tell women how he feels about them, and without fail, there is always a man who takes this liberty in the worst way. Today's culprit is none other than Alexander J.A. Cortes, the speaker and writer who boasts the ability to "optimize your life."
In case you're not familiar with his past work, he once went viral for mansplaining why women shouldn't dye their hair, and now he's back with a fresh axe to grind.
Nothing quite sums up my feelings for him as accurately as this baby GIF:
In Cortes' latest piece of performance art (which is unfortunately just his real personality), he unironically laid out a bonkers explainer list on how to be a Beautiful Woman. This is truly the apex of flaming trash no one asked for, and yet, here we are swimming in this overheated dumpster.
Before the backlash poured out in its full and vivacious glory, Cortes followed his ambitious list up with disclaimers stating that any women who disagree with it are "undersexed" and angry.
He even posted a selfie to really get women lusting over his infinite knowledge of desirability.
He even laid out his exhaustingly cliche and heteronormative expectations of women as indicators of their "wife value," which is a fictional currency men in the Red Pill community created to devalue women that scare them.
His fat-shaming and bonkers beauty expectations would suggest he views himself as a sort of modern day Gaston, traipsing about the village with an impossible neck, waiting for his Belle.
After doubling down on his cartoonish brand of misogyny, Cortes dedicated another selfie to all the women that want to "hate fuck" him.
Unsurprisingly, his unbelievable existence and wildly outdated views on women and relationships ushered in a proper dragging.
People truly cannot believe he's real, but if you dive into his social media, he seems to be genuinely drinking the Koolaid.'
He brought all of this on himself.
His tweet inspired a few response lists with suggestions for men.
Honestly, it's mildly terrifying and deeply depressing that Cortes actually walks around the world with these alien ideals about women. However, in the very least, he has given the internet so many jokes in the process.