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<p>Unless you&#39;re overtly asked, it&#39;s usually best to keep opinions about other people&#39;s relationships to yourself. For one, none of us can truly know the reality of a relationship unless we&#39;re in it, and dynamics that seem easy to judge from the outside might be more complex in reality.</p><h2>In a recent post on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e65xfl/aita_for_telling_my_best_friends_gf_he_will_never/" target="_blank">the Am I The A*shole subreddit</a>, a guy asked if he was wrong for telling his best friend&#39;s girlfriend that she&#39;ll never be engaged.</h2><blockquote> <p>AITA for telling my best friends GF he will never propose?</p> </blockquote><h2>OP kicked off the post by sharing that he recently proposed to his fiance Lily after three years of dating.</h2><p>Meanwhile, his best friend Michael has been dating his girlfriend Johanna for 11 years with no signs of proposal plans.</p><blockquote> <p>My best friend Michael (28M) has been with his girlfriend Johanna (29F) for 11 years since highschool. I (28M) recently proposed to my fianc&eacute;e Lily (26F) and we&#39;ve been together for just shy of 3 years.</p> </blockquote><h2>Earlier this week, Johanna gushed about how she can&#39;t wait until Michael proposes, so they can plan a fairytale wedding.</h2><blockquote> <p>Earlier this week Johanna mentioned to me and Lily at a party how she can&#39;t wait for Michael to propose to her and how she can&#39;t wait to have her fairytale wedding.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Rather than let her daydream, OP laughed at the gushing and told her he knew Michael had no intention of proposing.</h2><blockquote> <p>I, admittedly, laughed and told Johanna that after 11 years together if a guy hasn&#39;t proposed to you yet he probably never will. I was also a little shocked because up until that point I thought both Michael and Johanna were on the same page and didn&#39;t believe in marriage (I know for a fact that Michael doesn&#39;t want to tie the knot but I didn&#39;t mention that to Johanna).</p> </blockquote><h2>This caused Johanna to get defensive, and OP and her got into a tense discussion about the direction of her relationship with Michael.</h2><blockquote> <p>Johanna got defensive and started arguing that a lot of couples wait a long time before marriage and not everyone rushes into marriage like us. I just sort of reiterated my point that 11 years is longer than average and I wouldn&#39;t be surprised if Michael never proposes. I also told Johanna straight up if she wants a proposal in the future she should probably have a serious conversation with Michael about it.</p> </blockquote><h2>On the ride home, OP&#39;s fiance Lily called him out and claimed he was being unnecessarily rude and callous.</h2><p>On the contrary, OP felt he was being helpful and looking out for Johanna in the conversation.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Well, on the uber ride back home my fianc&eacute;e Lily was horrified with what I&#39;d said to Johanna. She doesn&#39;t think it&#39;s any of my business and what I said to Johanna was rude. In my opinion I was doing Johanna a favour. I mean someone needs to tell her the reality that Michael is unlikely to propose. I do recognize I may have created some trouble for my friend but Johanna is my friend as well and I was trying to give it to her straight.</p> <p>Am I an a*shole?</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e65xfl/aita_for_telling_my_best_friends_gf_he_will_never/" target="_blank">zukka924</a> has no idea what OP was thinking.</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA</p> <p>Holy sh*t man, what the hell is it any of your fucking business. Also, that is INCREDIBLY incorrect. At 28, he is young and maybe can&#39;t afford the right ring? I know a lot of people who waited a longer amount of time than that before deciding to get married. It&#39;s not the norm, sure, but again... what is it any of your business. I mean, you happen to know in this situation, but even so- that&#39;s not your position. You weren&#39;t doing her a favor, you were lording your own relationship success over her, and if you truly think you were doing her a favor, then that&#39;s another reason why YTA</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>*EDIT TO ADD* if you really actually cared about Johanna, then what you would do is, you go to MICHAEL, and you say &quot;Hey man, you know Johanna is expecting you to propose, right? I know that you don&#39;t believe in marriage or whatever, but I don&#39;t think SHE knows that. I know it&#39;s none of my business, but I think you 2 may need to have a conversation about the future. Just some advice.&quot; But did you do that? You did not. You went LOL YOU THINK HE&#39;S GONNA PROPOSE HAHA GOOD ONE</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e65xfl/aita_for_telling_my_best_friends_gf_he_will_never/" target="_blank">curien</a> thinks OP could&#39;ve been more sensitive and tactful.</h2><blockquote> <p>I think the problem might be more with <em>how</em> you said it than <em>what</em> you said. Lily was there, she heard your tone of voice and saw your nonverbal communication. She&#39;s in a much better position to judge than we are. If she says you were an a*shole, she&#39;s basing that on much more information than any of us have available, and you should defer to her judgement instead of ours.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SandwichOtter/">SandwichOtter</a> thinks OP&#39;s dismissive communication style was straight up cruel.</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA. The way you said it was really dismissive and cruel, especially if she&#39;s been waiting for a proposal. Your friend is also kind of an a*shole for apparently never having this conversation with his girlfriend of 11 YEARS. Sounds like their communication sucks, but yes, you could have just not got involved.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LtBiggDiggs/">LtBiggDiggs</a> pointed out that it doesn&#39;t make sense for OP to compare his relationship to Michael&#39;s when it started during such a different life stage.</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA. &quot;11 years&quot; here meant they started dating in high school. You don&#39;t get bonus points for your 3-year proposal when you&#39;d both started dating in your mid-20s. At 33, I&#39;m much more who I was at 25 than I was the same person each year before then. It makes perfect sense they&#39;d take their relationship in stride through high school, [I&#39;m assuming] college, starting a career, etc. Doesn&#39;t have to be those life stages exact.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Sounds like they might be one of the few success stories that come from a high school / young romance. If it&#39;s any consolation, it sounds like your fiancee&#39;s at least got a good head on her shoulders if she&#39;s calling you out.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/e65xfl/aita_for_telling_my_best_friends_gf_he_will_never/" target="_blank">Travellingtrex</a> thinks OP should have stayed out of the dynamic completely.</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA: You also might not be wrong, but that&#39;s a conversation that her and Michael need to have. Hearing this from his best friend is going to make her feel really sh*tty, and I&#39;m positive that after 11 years, some part of her maybe knows he&#39;s not going to propose which is why she reacted the way that she did to you. I don&#39;t think you did her a favour here, and I think Michael would probably be pissed off too if he knew that you were telling her this. Let them have a conversation about it.</p> </blockquote><p>Suffice it to say, the jury of the internet firmly believes OP was in the wrong. Hopefully, he is able to smooth things over with Johanna and it doesn&#39;t affect their friendship long-term.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Guy asks if he's wrong for telling best friend's girlfriend she's never getting a proposal.

Unless you&#39;re overtly asked, it&#39;s usually best to keep opinions about other people&#39;s relationships to yourself. For one, none of us can truly know the reality of a relationship unless we&#39;re in it, and dynamics that seem easy to judge from the outside might be more complex in reality.In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a guy asked if he was wrong for telling his best friend&#39;s girlfriend that she&#39;ll never be engaged. AITA for telling my best friends GF he will never propose? OP kicked off the post by sharing that he recently proposed to his fiance Lily after three years of dating.Meanwhile, his best friend Michael has been dating his girlfriend Johanna for 11 years with no signs of proposal plans. My best friend Michael (28M) has been with his girlfriend Johanna (29F) for 11 years since highschool. I (28M) recently proposed to my fianc&eacute;e Lily (26F) and we&#39;ve been together for just shy of 3 years. Earlier this week, Johanna gushed about how she can&#39;t wait until Michael proposes, so they can plan a fairytale wedding. Earlier this week Johanna mentioned to me and Lily at a party how she can&#39;t wait for Michael to propose to her and how she can&#39;t wait to have her fairytale wedding. Rather than let her daydream, OP laughed at the gushing and told her he knew Michael had no intention of proposing. I, admittedly, laughed and told Johanna that after 11 years together if a guy hasn&#39;t proposed to you yet he probably never will. I was also a little shocked because up until that point I thought both Michael and Johanna were on the same page and didn&#39;t believe in marriage (I know for a fact that Michael doesn&#39;t want to tie the knot but I didn&#39;t mention that to Johanna). This caused Johanna to get defensive, and OP and her got into a tense discussion about the direction of her relationship with Michael. Johanna got defensive and started arguing that a lot of couples wait a long time before marriage and not everyone rushes into marriage like us. I just sort of reiterated my point that 11 years is longer than average and I wouldn&#39;t be surprised if Michael never proposes. I also told Johanna straight up if she wants a proposal in the future she should probably have a serious conversation with Michael about it. On the ride home, OP&#39;s fiance Lily called him out and claimed he was being unnecessarily rude and callous.On the contrary, OP felt he was being helpful and looking out for Johanna in the conversation. Well, on the uber ride back home my fianc&eacute;e Lily was horrified with what I&#39;d said to Johanna. She doesn&#39;t think it&#39;s any of my business and what I said to Johanna was rude. In my opinion I was doing Johanna a favour. I mean someone needs to tell her the reality that Michael is unlikely to propose. I do recognize I may have created some trouble for my friend but Johanna is my friend as well and I was trying to give it to her straight. Am I an a*shole? zukka924 has no idea what OP was thinking. YTA Holy sh*t man, what the hell is it any of your fucking business. Also, that is INCREDIBLY incorrect. At 28, he is young and maybe can&#39;t afford the right ring? I know a lot of people who waited a longer amount of time than that before deciding to get married. It&#39;s not the norm, sure, but again... what is it any of your business. I mean, you happen to know in this situation, but even so- that&#39;s not your position. You weren&#39;t doing her a favor, you were lording your own relationship success over her, and if you truly think you were doing her a favor, then that&#39;s another reason why YTA  *EDIT TO ADD* if you really actually cared about Johanna, then what you would do is, you go to MICHAEL, and you say &quot;Hey man, you know Johanna is expecting you to propose, right? I know that you don&#39;t believe in marriage or whatever, but I don&#39;t think SHE knows that. I know it&#39;s none of my business, but I think you 2 may need to have a conversation about the future. Just some advice.&quot; But did you do that? You did not. You went LOL YOU THINK HE&#39;S GONNA PROPOSE HAHA GOOD ONE curien thinks OP could&#39;ve been more sensitive and tactful. I think the problem might be more with how you said it than what you said. Lily was there, she heard your tone of voice and saw your nonverbal communication. She&#39;s in a much better position to judge than we are. If she says you were an a*shole, she&#39;s basing that on much more information than any of us have available, and you should defer to her judgement instead of ours. SandwichOtter thinks OP&#39;s dismissive communication style was straight up cruel. YTA. The way you said it was really dismissive and cruel, especially if she&#39;s been waiting for a proposal. Your friend is also kind of an a*shole for apparently never having this conversation with his girlfriend of 11 YEARS. Sounds like their communication sucks, but yes, you could have just not got involved. LtBiggDiggs pointed out that it doesn&#39;t make sense for OP to compare his relationship to Michael&#39;s when it started during such a different life stage. YTA. &quot;11 years&quot; here meant they started dating in high school. You don&#39;t get bonus points for your 3-year proposal when you&#39;d both started dating in your mid-20s. At 33, I&#39;m much more who I was at 25 than I was the same person each year before then. It makes perfect sense they&#39;d take their relationship in stride through high school, [I&#39;m assuming] college, starting a career, etc. Doesn&#39;t have to be those life stages exact.  Sounds like they might be one of the few success stories that come from a high school / young romance. If it&#39;s any consolation, it sounds like your fiancee&#39;s at least got a good head on her shoulders if she&#39;s calling you out. Travellingtrex thinks OP should have stayed out of the dynamic completely. YTA: You also might not be wrong, but that&#39;s a conversation that her and Michael need to have. Hearing this from his best friend is going to make her feel really sh*tty, and I&#39;m positive that after 11 years, some part of her maybe knows he&#39;s not going to propose which is why she reacted the way that she did to you. I don&#39;t think you did her a favour here, and I think Michael would probably be pissed off too if he knew that you were telling her this. Let them have a conversation about it. Suffice it to say, the jury of the internet firmly believes OP was in the wrong. Hopefully, he is able to smooth things over with Johanna and it doesn&#39;t affect their friendship long-term.

Guy asks if he's wrong for telling best friend's girlfriend she's never getting a proposal.

In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a guy asked if he was wrong for telling his best friend's girlfriend that she'll never be engaged.

OP kicked off the post by sharing that he recently proposed to his fiance Lily after three years of dating.

Earlier this week, Johanna gushed about how she can't wait until Michael proposes, so they can plan a fairytale wedding.