On average, when a friend asks me if they should dump their husband, boyfriend, hook-up buddy, guy at the grocery store, regular bus driver, or anyone else in their life I say: "Yes, dump him last week please. For the love of god, dump him."
This possibly explains why my friends don't ask me for romantic advice anymore, but that is neither here nor there
Huge digression aside, the disgusting nature of attraction usually includes an ability to not only tolerate but CELEBRATE the most obnoxious traits of our partners. Who among us has NOT been held captive in a conversation where our friend coos and says "it's just soo funny how he turns everything into a song!"
In that moment, all you want to do is scream: "It's not funny, you guys just have lots of sex right now!"
Anyways, lots of ladies bless the rest of the internet with tales of their partners doing funny, extra, annoying shit, and we eat it up with a plastic spoon.
For the most part, it's cute and light and provides a refreshing break from the bleak existentialism of the newscycle.
Nonetheless, I am an emotional dark abyss and think these 25 ridiculous boyfriends and husbands should have been dumped yesterday. FIGHT ME.
1. This boyfriend who doesn't know shit about Kit Kats.
2. This husband who took a selfie during labor.
3. This boyfriend who still doesn't understand menstrual cycles.
4. This husband who traumatized his wife via nanny cam.
"I got bored and turned on the motion detection on our nanny cam and set it to email my wife while she's at work. Then I dressed up in an old Halloween mask and set my plan into motion. My ear is still bleeding from her phone call. But yet I can't wait to buy more masks," he wrote on Reddit.
5. This husband who hoards cups at the top of the stairs.
6. This husband who get petty when unpacking the toilet paper.
7. This 6'2 husband who hung a mirror for his 5'1 girlfriend.
8. This boyfriend who got into sharpening his girlfriend's lipstick.
9. This boyfriend who made his drunk girlfriend into a meme.
10. This boyfriend who roasted his girlfriend in HD.
11. This husband who got literal with his wife's instructions.
12. This boyfriend's use of the new label-maker.
13. This boyfriend who trolled his girlfriend's indecisiveness.
14. This boyfriend with his caption game.
15. This boyfriend who called his girlfriend "swine."
16. This boyfriend who obviously isn't ready.
17. This boyfriend who used books to roast his girlfriend.
18. This husband and his horrifying screensaver.
19. This husband's traumatic blanket choice.
20. This thirsty husband.
21. This husband's lazy laundry method.
22. This husband and his drunk cooking skills.
23. This husband's edited wedding RSVP.
24. This husband and his sense of romance.
25. This husband and his choice of bathroom decorations.