News

<h2>At what point does a gesture to show support for a cancer patient become more about you and less about the patient?</h2><p>Many viral posts and movies have depicted friends and family members who shave their heads to support someone with cancer who is losing their hair from chemo. While it is a grand gesture that is appreciated by some patients, it&#39;s not appreciated by all. Many people attach a part of their identity to their hair and losing it for solidarity might not be the best way to support their loved one, especially if there was never a conversation about whether or not the patient would appreciate it.</p><p>Plus, there&#39;s always the question of where to draw the line. You might not even think twice about shaving your head for your sister or your best friend if that&#39;s what they want, but should you feel obligated to make a major change in your appearance for an acquaintance? A neighbor? Your co-worker? That is the exact question that a recent <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/eozmwi/aita_for_not_shaving_my_head_alongside_my/">reddit</a> user asked in the &quot;Am I an As*hole?&quot; section AKA the moral compass of the internet.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Let the debate begin!</p><h2>AITA for not shaving my head alongside my coworkers in support of a coworker with cancer?</h2><blockquote> <p>I work at a gas station, have for over a year. It&#39;s got a small subway inside, and we have a staff of 8 on the gas station side. Subway has a staff of 10.</p> <p>Our assistant manager on the gas side was diagnosed with cancer and as it usually happens shaved her hair when it began falling out from the chemo.</p> <p>Everyone in the store has decided to shave their heads in support. Everyone. Both gas station side and subway side. I&#39;m the only one who wont and I&#39;m being treated very passive-aggressively. I&#39;m getting snide comments Time to time, when customers ask why everyone shaved their heads all my coworkers give sarcastic responses clearly aimed at me. It&#39;s been a few weeks and I&#39;m getting frustrated. I&#39;ve mentioned it to my manager and she gave me something how they&#39;re frustrated that not everyone seems fully committed to wishing our assistant manager good luck.</p> <p>I&#39;m a 27 year old guy. I haven&#39;t cut my hair in 5 years other than basic trims to remove dead ends and groom it. I&#39;m proud of my hair. I&#39;ve only cut my hair once since I turned 18. I know it sounds stupid but I am very proud of my hair. I suffer from major depression and my hair is the one thing in my life I feel I have control over, if that makes any sense. Plus I have never found a short hair style that made me feel comfortable or one I felt I looked good in.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;discombobubolated&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>Instead maybe make a donation, or give blood, or volunteer. And if they bug you again, say &quot;I&#39;m not shaving my head but instead I donated in honor of [name].&quot; Donations go farther in cancer research than cutting one&#39;s hair, anyway.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;peppered_s&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>Maybe an opinion that will come across as shitty to some people, but shaving your head does literally nothing except make you feel like you&#39;re doing something. It&#39;s not like there there is a need to raise awareness, or for people to make a stand and declare their opposition to cancer. The fact that you made a relatively large sacrifice doesn&#39;t mean anyone else benefited from it.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;tamarynmay&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>Everyone loves to look like they are doing their bit. The people who really get stuff done don&#39;t advertise it. And shaming someone over not conforming is really narrow minded and hypocritical. Everyone is trying to empathize with another human being who is suffering, but think it&#39;s fine to hurt and belittle another for wanting to feel good about keeping their hard earned hair.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;dumbest&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>OP, you&rsquo;re NTA at all. I&rsquo;m a woman and my hair is 3 feet long so I understand the pride and identity that gets tied into it. If people were trying to guilt me into shaving (or even cutting) it, I would have a very difficult time not getting violent with them lmao. You&rsquo;re not obligated to sacrifice your self esteem in an act of solidarity when there are other ways to show your support.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;cenhinen&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>My mum&#39;s friend died from cancer and she absolutely hated the trend of shaving your head to &quot;show support&quot;. It&#39;s doing something to make yourself feel better and make yourself feel like you&#39;re doing something, and her attitude was it&#39;s a way to be all &quot;ooh look at me, I&#39;m so thoughtful that I did something which literally only affects me.&quot; Donate money instead.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;contender811&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>Sure offering that kind of support is moving, but at the same time it&rsquo;s a tall order that should not be done involuntarily or under duress.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;twosoxx&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;d even argue that shaving your head in solidarity is the laziest way to support someone with cancer. Give them a ride home from chemo or offer to cook/clean/etc for them some time. Others suggested donating money to research or such. Your coworkers are way off base, you don&rsquo;t owe them a haircut that you don&rsquo;t want under the guise of &ldquo;being supportive.&rdquo; Especially not if they&rsquo;re gonna be little b words about it, it&rsquo;s not about the support it&rsquo;s about posturing and appearances at that point.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;happysam89&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>cancer survivor here and my kid also has cancer. You don&rsquo;t need to shave your head to show support. I see so many videos of people shaving their hair off to raise &ldquo;awareness.&rdquo; I&rsquo;m pretty sure everyone is aware that cancer exists now. Someone mention blood donation which is way more needed for cancer patients or just needed in general. My kid has had four blood transfusion due to chemo. Many chemo patients also get platelet transfusions. Blood donations all the way. Honestly if you don&rsquo;t want to do anything to show support you don&rsquo;t have to!</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;plonkydonkey&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m a girl. I have cancer. My hair is gonna fall out one day. But it&#39;ll grow back once treatment is over.</p> <p>You&#39;re a guy. If you go bald you ain&#39;t ever getting it back.</p> <p>Enjoy what you have while it lasts, man. Just like I&#39;m trying to enjoy my life while I still have it.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;starry_skyz&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>Your hair, your choice.</p> </blockquote><p>So, there you have it! Shaving your head to show support for a cancer patient is a very personal decision and should be done with the patient&#39;s best interests in mind! Plus, there are plenty of other ways to show support for a loved one or an acquaintance and every method helps.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Long-haired man refuses to join entire staff in shaving head to support co-worker with cancer.

At what point does a gesture to show support for a cancer patient become more about you and less about the patient?Many viral posts and movies have depicted friends and family members who shave their heads to support someone with cancer who is losing their hair from chemo. While it is a grand gesture that is appreciated by some patients, it&#39;s not appreciated by all. Many people attach a part of their identity to their hair and losing it for solidarity might not be the best way to support their loved one, especially if there was never a conversation about whether or not the patient would appreciate it.Plus, there&#39;s always the question of where to draw the line. You might not even think twice about shaving your head for your sister or your best friend if that&#39;s what they want, but should you feel obligated to make a major change in your appearance for an acquaintance? A neighbor? Your co-worker? That is the exact question that a recent reddit user asked in the &quot;Am I an As*hole?&quot; section AKA the moral compass of the internet.Let the debate begin!AITA for not shaving my head alongside my coworkers in support of a coworker with cancer? I work at a gas station, have for over a year. It&#39;s got a small subway inside, and we have a staff of 8 on the gas station side. Subway has a staff of 10. Our assistant manager on the gas side was diagnosed with cancer and as it usually happens shaved her hair when it began falling out from the chemo. Everyone in the store has decided to shave their heads in support. Everyone. Both gas station side and subway side. I&#39;m the only one who wont and I&#39;m being treated very passive-aggressively. I&#39;m getting snide comments Time to time, when customers ask why everyone shaved their heads all my coworkers give sarcastic responses clearly aimed at me. It&#39;s been a few weeks and I&#39;m getting frustrated. I&#39;ve mentioned it to my manager and she gave me something how they&#39;re frustrated that not everyone seems fully committed to wishing our assistant manager good luck. I&#39;m a 27 year old guy. I haven&#39;t cut my hair in 5 years other than basic trims to remove dead ends and groom it. I&#39;m proud of my hair. I&#39;ve only cut my hair once since I turned 18. I know it sounds stupid but I am very proud of my hair. I suffer from major depression and my hair is the one thing in my life I feel I have control over, if that makes any sense. Plus I have never found a short hair style that made me feel comfortable or one I felt I looked good in. &quot;discombobubolated&quot; wrote: Instead maybe make a donation, or give blood, or volunteer. And if they bug you again, say &quot;I&#39;m not shaving my head but instead I donated in honor of [name].&quot; Donations go farther in cancer research than cutting one&#39;s hair, anyway. &quot;peppered_s&quot; wrote: Maybe an opinion that will come across as shitty to some people, but shaving your head does literally nothing except make you feel like you&#39;re doing something. It&#39;s not like there there is a need to raise awareness, or for people to make a stand and declare their opposition to cancer. The fact that you made a relatively large sacrifice doesn&#39;t mean anyone else benefited from it. &quot;tamarynmay&quot; wrote: Everyone loves to look like they are doing their bit. The people who really get stuff done don&#39;t advertise it. And shaming someone over not conforming is really narrow minded and hypocritical. Everyone is trying to empathize with another human being who is suffering, but think it&#39;s fine to hurt and belittle another for wanting to feel good about keeping their hard earned hair. &quot;dumbest&quot; wrote: OP, you&rsquo;re NTA at all. I&rsquo;m a woman and my hair is 3 feet long so I understand the pride and identity that gets tied into it. If people were trying to guilt me into shaving (or even cutting) it, I would have a very difficult time not getting violent with them lmao. You&rsquo;re not obligated to sacrifice your self esteem in an act of solidarity when there are other ways to show your support. &quot;cenhinen&quot; wrote: My mum&#39;s friend died from cancer and she absolutely hated the trend of shaving your head to &quot;show support&quot;. It&#39;s doing something to make yourself feel better and make yourself feel like you&#39;re doing something, and her attitude was it&#39;s a way to be all &quot;ooh look at me, I&#39;m so thoughtful that I did something which literally only affects me.&quot; Donate money instead. &quot;contender811&quot; wrote: Sure offering that kind of support is moving, but at the same time it&rsquo;s a tall order that should not be done involuntarily or under duress. &quot;twosoxx&quot; wrote: I&rsquo;d even argue that shaving your head in solidarity is the laziest way to support someone with cancer. Give them a ride home from chemo or offer to cook/clean/etc for them some time. Others suggested donating money to research or such. Your coworkers are way off base, you don&rsquo;t owe them a haircut that you don&rsquo;t want under the guise of &ldquo;being supportive.&rdquo; Especially not if they&rsquo;re gonna be little b words about it, it&rsquo;s not about the support it&rsquo;s about posturing and appearances at that point. &quot;happysam89&quot; wrote: cancer survivor here and my kid also has cancer. You don&rsquo;t need to shave your head to show support. I see so many videos of people shaving their hair off to raise &ldquo;awareness.&rdquo; I&rsquo;m pretty sure everyone is aware that cancer exists now. Someone mention blood donation which is way more needed for cancer patients or just needed in general. My kid has had four blood transfusion due to chemo. Many chemo patients also get platelet transfusions. Blood donations all the way. Honestly if you don&rsquo;t want to do anything to show support you don&rsquo;t have to! &quot;plonkydonkey&quot; wrote: I&#39;m a girl. I have cancer. My hair is gonna fall out one day. But it&#39;ll grow back once treatment is over. You&#39;re a guy. If you go bald you ain&#39;t ever getting it back. Enjoy what you have while it lasts, man. Just like I&#39;m trying to enjoy my life while I still have it. &quot;starry_skyz&quot; wrote: Your hair, your choice. So, there you have it! Shaving your head to show support for a cancer patient is a very personal decision and should be done with the patient&#39;s best interests in mind! Plus, there are plenty of other ways to show support for a loved one or an acquaintance and every method helps.

At what point does a gesture to show support for a cancer patient become more about you and less about the patient?  Many viral posts and movies have depicted friends and family members who shave their heads to support someone with cancer...