So, when an angry Maid of Honor decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her bachelorette party behavior, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
I went to a bachelorette party in Atlantic City. After a 4-hour drive, the bride (we’ll call her Melissa) could not be bothered to get out of her seat and give me a hug or introduce me to the other girls. No one made any effort to get to know me at dinner.
When the bill came, the girls said we’d split it evenly, which was unfair to me because I don't drink alcohol and they all ordered multiple drinks. There were 11 girls and I didn’t want to be the only one who didn’t want to split the bill, so I ended up having to pay $65 for my $13 meal.
Then we went to a nightclub. When we got out around 2 AM, my ears were ringing so much, I couldn't sleep that night. Despite not sleeping, I got up early Saturday, because we were going to an escape room at noon. I made the entire house breakfast so the girls could eat quickly and we could make it on time. But they overslept and we missed it.
Then we got brunch, and the ride over was a nightmare. I should mention I was appointed designated driver. Half the girls took an Uber since my car only seats 5 people, and the other half went with me, including Melissa. It was storming in AC and the streets were flooded; I’m talking water up to my thighs. I didn't think my old car would make it.
The girls could see what kind of car I drive and decided to 'complain' about how they can’t file their taxes jointly with their husbands because their combined income would be over $400K, all while I chauffeured them.
Not only was splitting the bill unfair to me because I don’t drink, but since I was driving everyone around, I was the only one paying for gas and parking fees. They insisted on splitting the brunch bill too, so I had to pay $45 for my $15 lunch.
After the rain stopped, we went to the boardwalk to do a scavenger hunt. Melissa chose the teams and she didn't even put me on her team! I'm her MOH and yet she didn't want to spend that extra time with her 'best friend.' Then the girls wanted to get drinks on the boardwalk, where I was again excluded from conversation. I was the only quirky girl amongst sorority-types.
We were scheduled for a booze cruise with an arrival time of 5:30 PM, so as it started nearing 5, I said we should get going, but the girls wanted to finish their drinks and we had to SCRAMBLE to get out of there.
Again, half the girls took an Uber and the other half went with me, but we couldn't find my car. Melissa started flipping out about missing the cruise, so the girls took an Uber and ditched me in the parking garage. At this point, I broke down and started sobbing. I drove back to the Airbnb ($450/person) and packed up my stuff.
I left around 9 PM and drove through the night. No one texted me to see if I made it home. Melissa hasn't talked to me since - I guess she's mad at me for leaving. AITA for leaving? Did I overreact?
Part of being a bridesmaid if often choking down a lot of demands in the name of 'the bride is always right,' but getting married isn't an excuse to use and abuse your friends in matching sunglasses. Sure, she could've communicated that she didn't feel appreciated before she packed up her stuff and set sail but Atlantic City probably isn't the right setting for a productive heart-to-heart.
NTA (Not the As*hole). They took advantage and of you all night and then had the audacity to ditch you in a parking garage after you have been footing the bill for half of the transportation and part of their meals beyond what you actually owed.
If I were you and she doesn't reach out I wouldn't even go to the wedding based on how she has treated you. You deserve better and an apology. They've essentially been treating you as a tag along chauffeur. - Smileygirl216
NTA. The fact that she didn't even bother to check up on you after ditching you and then having you dissappear into the night shows that she doesn't really care and this is one of those friendships where you might have just outgrown each other. - thundaga0
ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). This sounds an awful lot like the two of you have grown into very different adults. She and her friends seem pretty go with the flow and if they miss something they miss it.
They also seem like big partiers. Where they suck majorly is in expecting that because you don’t drink, you’ll be happy to chauffeur them around. Where you suck a tiny little bit is just…leaving. Ghosting the party. You could have texted the bride just to say that you were leaving early.
You also could have stayed at the Airbnb on your own and read a book or whatever. You brought up in the comments about how the bride asked you to bring some games, and then they weren’t played because the girls were getting dolled up. It sounds like the bride was trying at least at first to include you, but it just didn’t work out. - spunkyfuzzguts
Yta (You're the As*hole) for leaving. How could they know the you're having a bad time? You didn't talk once. It is expected to just split everything and pay for the bride (at least where im from). You made breakfast (very nice of you) but nobody asked you to make breakfast, so how can you get mad for missing breakfast? Maybe they didn't care about it.
You volunteered your car, I'm pretty sure you could have asked to split the gas and parking fees and no one would have cared. Maybe you're in a different social circle, but for them the tax thing was a complain, it didn't appear to me that they were bragging, for them it could be a real problem. I don't blame you for leaving, but for the bride and everyone, you just left, with no warning so I get why she's angry with you. - rccctz
While the opinions were incredibly mixed here, most people thought she should've communicated more before leaving despite having valid reasons to be upset. Good luck, everyone!