So, when a conflicted brother decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not he's wrong to bail on his sister's wedding, people were quick to help deem a verdict.
My sister is getting married in less that 3 weeks. I haven't been involved in the planning as I have my own life but from what my mom has relayed to me it's been a nightmare.
My sister wants a 'fancy' wedding and is micro-managing everything. I have no idea how normal this is, but from what I've heard she broke down crying when her fiancé bought the wrong shade of white napkins. Her and both my and the groom's parents have invested a lot of money into this to the tune of over $50k.
In my opinion I think the whole ordeal is ridiculous but it's not really my place to say anything. At least until yesterday. A email was sent out to everyone invited to the wedding with 'attendance requirements.'
These requirements were a joke. Some of them were just nonsensical like what color ties are and aren't allowed or that no one can talk to the bride or groom alone. But some were absurd like the fact that no one is supposed to take pictures except the photographer for the whole event, no facial hair will be allowed or you will not be pictured, or that any women with shoulder length or longer hair must have it cut or wear it in a pony tail.
The worst though were the 'gift requirements.' According to the email a gift of $300 value or more MUST be given (or $250 cash) or you will not be allowed into the venue. The email also ends with 'Those who choose not to follow these rules will be asked to leave. Please think of the bride and groom's wishes during this stressful time.'
This is a joke, right? Like I can understand micromanaging but that's just absurd. I called my mom to make sure this was not a late April Fools joke and it was real. I told her that I won't be going because of this. That was wrong apparently because my sister has been blowing me up saying that I'm being selfish and that I'm ruining 'her day.'
My parents agree with her and say I'm being an as*hole. My parents have told me that they will pay for my gift but I still think that all of these rules are a joke. Would I be an a*s if I skipped out on the wedding?
Banning photography and beards ranges from understandable to unhinged, but forcing people to go into temporary debt so that you can have the kitchen set of your dreams because you found love is hilarious. Sure, this man might get some side-eye from the family for years to come whenever his sister's wedding is mentioned, but RSVPing 'Yes' would be more painful.
NTA (Not the As*hole) I would not go. 'Since my attendance at your wedding comes with a price tag, and it's clear you value gifts, more than guests, count me out for both. Have a lovely wedding.' - CycleofWife
NTA. Your sister is the queen of the Bridezillas. It is not at all normal for a bride to dictate the guests hairstyles, facial hair or gift choices. - brandyto
NTA: I understand the color coordination, but that's about it. Everything else, to me, is over the top. The gift requirement would be a no go for me, as well. Your sister is incredibly irresponsible for sending this out only 3 weeks before her wedding. - drekiaa
NTA. Your sister is being ridiculous and those requests for wedding guests are completely outrageous. It might be her special day, but requiring people to change their appearances and bring minimum value gifts is beyond tacky. It's just shitty, entitled behavior. - ian_xxv
NTA but you should still go. Wear what you were going to wear, have your hair the way you were going to have it and gift whatever you were going to gift. Make them kick you out. - aytayjay
Everyone agreed unanimously here that this brother isn't at all wrong to skip his own sister's wedding as she has reached a level of 'Bridezilla' that is beyond where most brides even dare to venture. Good luck, everyone!