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<h2>Keeping the romance alive in a long term relationship can require a bit of work sometimes, and surprising your partner with a date night or a romantic evening at home can spice up the daily routine...</h2><p>Even if you&#39;re not in the mood to do anything but watch television in your pajamas, if your partner put in the work to make you happy, the least you could do is try to match their efforts and enjoy the night. Feeling like you&#39;re being taken for granted or the only one putting in work is a terrible place to be in a relationship.</p><p>So, when a frustrated soon-to-be dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the as*hole?&quot; about his reaction to his wife dressing up and making him a fancy dinner, people were eager to deem a verdict.</p><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/m9zst0/aita_for_not_getting_dressed_up_with_my_wife/">AITA</a> (Am I the As*hole) for not getting dressed up with my wife?</h2><blockquote> <p>My wife Sarah is a senior surgeon and works very long hours. We discovered very recently that she is pregnant. While we were both delighted, it didn&#39;t take long for us to decide that I would be the one to take time off to look after the baby, as she is by far the higher earner.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I work in maintenance so I&#39;m still going to work. I work long hours too as well as crazy shift patterns including nights and weekends. Because of that and because everything is shut, we haven&#39;t been able to spend much time together.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I do most of the cooking at home because I&#39;m better than her and she doesn&#39;t really like cooking anyway. However, I got home yesterday and she made me my favourite meal. More than that, she was fully dressed up. I&#39;m talking evening gown, heels, hair fully done etc. She looked so beautiful I wanted to marry her all over again.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>However, I was tired. I&#39;d been working a 12 hour shift and just wanted to relax. I threw on a tracksuit and t shirt and when I came downstairs she was obviously disappointed. She asked if I wasn&#39;t going to dress up, and I said I was tired and just wanted to eat.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>It was quite awkward between us for the rest of the meal, and when it was done she went upstairs and said &quot;remind me never to make an effort again&quot;. Later as I was going to bed I heard her crying in the spare room. I went in to comfort her, but she told me to go away and leave her alone.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Look I know it must have been sad for her to get dressed up and for me to not do it, but I&#39;d been working all day doing heavy physical work and just wanted to relax.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I know Sarah loves getting dressed up and wearing beautiful clothes, and the pregnancy might mean less chances to do that, but she kinda surprised me with this. If we&#39;d planned a date where we could both get dressed up and have a nice meal I would have happily taken part, but I was tired and didn&#39;t have the energy. AITA?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Here&#39;s what people had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>Sorry, YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole). <em>You changed clothes anyway</em>. It takes roughly the same energy to throw on slacks and a nice shirt as it did to throw on a track suit and a t-shirt. After all the effort your wife went to, the few extra seconds it would take to button up a dress shirt wouldn&#39;t have killed you. - miyuki_m</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>YTA. I get that you worked a long shift, but it takes, what, 3 minutes to take off clothes and put on new ones? A button down and some slacks or something would have been enough to show the most basic amount of effort. Sounds like it&#39;s a good excuse for you to turn around and plan a nice date night for your wife now. - fakemonalisa</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Yta Of course she surprised you with it. That was kind of the point. Your favorite meal, cooked and ready to eat as soon as you get home from work. She was so beautiful you wanted to marry her again. It took her HOURS to this for you.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>It would have taken you the same amount of time to put on nice clothes as the sloppy ones. Instead you completely blew it off. She tried to make this evening about you and congrats-you made it about YOU. You were tired. Poor baby. Would have taken you longer to cook the food yourself then get dressed nicely. - EnvironmentalRun1003</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>YTA because you looked at her, looked at what she did, went upstairs, selected a tracksuit instead of something nice even at least just a button-down shirt, and came back downstairs and told her you just wanted to eat. You were totally dismissive of her multiple times instead of taking just a few minutes to put something nice on and show her you cared. - bullzeye1983</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>YTA. As someone in their first trimester of their pregnancy, let me tell you that your wife was also most likely exhausted (seriously, look up pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester, exhaustion is in the top five). Would it have cost you a lot of effort to comb your hair, put on a nice outfit? No.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>No it wouldn&#39;t. It would have been an extra five to ten minutes. I suggest you pull together a fancy date night for your wife as a make up date, it&#39;s the least you can do. - iraddney</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) - Everyone here needs to communicate. Surprises only work when you know the intended audience is going to be receptive to the surprise. Surprising someone to a high class meal that involves dressing up, primping and preparation is not going to work well if all the person wants when they get home is a greasy dumpling and a pair of sweats.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>On the other hand, seeing that when you get home also means grinning and bearing it. You know she put in some preparation time and work and just throwing that overboard is not a good thing - Elfich47</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Everyone agreed that while she did surprise him, the gesture was romantic and he could&#39;ve shown his appreciation by putting in the smallest amount of effort himself. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man asks if he was wrong for refusing to dress up for surprise date with wife.

Keeping the romance alive in a long term relationship can require a bit of work sometimes, and surprising your partner with a date night or a romantic evening at home can spice up the daily routine...Even if you&#39;re not in the mood to do anything but watch television in your pajamas, if your partner put in the work to make you happy, the least you could do is try to match their efforts and enjoy the night. Feeling like you&#39;re being taken for granted or the only one putting in work is a terrible place to be in a relationship.So, when a frustrated soon-to-be dad decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the as*hole?&quot; about his reaction to his wife dressing up and making him a fancy dinner, people were eager to deem a verdict.AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not getting dressed up with my wife? My wife Sarah is a senior surgeon and works very long hours. We discovered very recently that she is pregnant. While we were both delighted, it didn&#39;t take long for us to decide that I would be the one to take time off to look after the baby, as she is by far the higher earner.  I work in maintenance so I&#39;m still going to work. I work long hours too as well as crazy shift patterns including nights and weekends. Because of that and because everything is shut, we haven&#39;t been able to spend much time together.  I do most of the cooking at home because I&#39;m better than her and she doesn&#39;t really like cooking anyway. However, I got home yesterday and she made me my favourite meal. More than that, she was fully dressed up. I&#39;m talking evening gown, heels, hair fully done etc. She looked so beautiful I wanted to marry her all over again.  However, I was tired. I&#39;d been working a 12 hour shift and just wanted to relax. I threw on a tracksuit and t shirt and when I came downstairs she was obviously disappointed. She asked if I wasn&#39;t going to dress up, and I said I was tired and just wanted to eat.  It was quite awkward between us for the rest of the meal, and when it was done she went upstairs and said &quot;remind me never to make an effort again&quot;. Later as I was going to bed I heard her crying in the spare room. I went in to comfort her, but she told me to go away and leave her alone.  Look I know it must have been sad for her to get dressed up and for me to not do it, but I&#39;d been working all day doing heavy physical work and just wanted to relax.  I know Sarah loves getting dressed up and wearing beautiful clothes, and the pregnancy might mean less chances to do that, but she kinda surprised me with this. If we&#39;d planned a date where we could both get dressed up and have a nice meal I would have happily taken part, but I was tired and didn&#39;t have the energy. AITA? Here&#39;s what people had to say: Sorry, YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole). You changed clothes anyway. It takes roughly the same energy to throw on slacks and a nice shirt as it did to throw on a track suit and a t-shirt. After all the effort your wife went to, the few extra seconds it would take to button up a dress shirt wouldn&#39;t have killed you. - miyuki_m  YTA. I get that you worked a long shift, but it takes, what, 3 minutes to take off clothes and put on new ones? A button down and some slacks or something would have been enough to show the most basic amount of effort. Sounds like it&#39;s a good excuse for you to turn around and plan a nice date night for your wife now. - fakemonalisa  Yta Of course she surprised you with it. That was kind of the point. Your favorite meal, cooked and ready to eat as soon as you get home from work. She was so beautiful you wanted to marry her again. It took her HOURS to this for you.  It would have taken you the same amount of time to put on nice clothes as the sloppy ones. Instead you completely blew it off. She tried to make this evening about you and congrats-you made it about YOU. You were tired. Poor baby. Would have taken you longer to cook the food yourself then get dressed nicely. - EnvironmentalRun1003  YTA because you looked at her, looked at what she did, went upstairs, selected a tracksuit instead of something nice even at least just a button-down shirt, and came back downstairs and told her you just wanted to eat. You were totally dismissive of her multiple times instead of taking just a few minutes to put something nice on and show her you cared. - bullzeye1983  YTA. As someone in their first trimester of their pregnancy, let me tell you that your wife was also most likely exhausted (seriously, look up pregnancy symptoms in the first trimester, exhaustion is in the top five). Would it have cost you a lot of effort to comb your hair, put on a nice outfit? No.  No it wouldn&#39;t. It would have been an extra five to ten minutes. I suggest you pull together a fancy date night for your wife as a make up date, it&#39;s the least you can do. - iraddney  ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) - Everyone here needs to communicate. Surprises only work when you know the intended audience is going to be receptive to the surprise. Surprising someone to a high class meal that involves dressing up, primping and preparation is not going to work well if all the person wants when they get home is a greasy dumpling and a pair of sweats.  On the other hand, seeing that when you get home also means grinning and bearing it. You know she put in some preparation time and work and just throwing that overboard is not a good thing - Elfich47 So, there you have it!Everyone agreed that while she did surprise him, the gesture was romantic and he could&#39;ve shown his appreciation by putting in the smallest amount of effort himself. Good luck, everyone!

Keeping the romance alive in a long term relationship can require a bit of work sometimes, and surprising your partner with a date night or a romantic evening at home can spice up the daily routine...  Even if you&#39;re not in the mood to...