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<h2>Being in a new relationship can sometimes mean having to restructure the schedule and routines you were used to in your single days. RIP, sleeping until 2 PM on weekends and leaving socks all over the floor.</h2><p>So, when a conflicted gym rat decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not he was wrong to tell his girlfriend the truth about his strict exercise regimen, people were quick to help deem a verdict.</p><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/spwuwe/aita_for_telling_my_girlfriend_that_yes_the_gym/">AITA</a> (Am I the As*hole) for telling my girlfriend that yes, the gym is more important to me than her and her daughter?</h2><blockquote> <p>I (32M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for about 18 months. She has the cutest little 4-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>As our relationship has progressed I&#39;ve been spending more and more time at my girlfriend&#39;s place, to the point that I&#39;ve all but moved in with them. This is mostly just because it&#39;s logistically easier for me to go to her place since she has a kid and I don&#39;t.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I work from 4:30 pm to 2:30 am. I get to bed by 4 am and then wake up around noon and then on most days head off to the gym and spend about two hours there total. I like to work out; it makes me feel good, keeps me healthy, and I also consider it a professional responsibility to stay in shape.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Working 10 hour shifts means that I don&#39;t have a ton of time in between shifts but that I also have more days off than most working people.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>This was never a problem until I (basically) moved in with my girlfriend. Suddenly lately when I wake up and try to head off to the gym she&#39;s all &quot;Oh, it&#39;s all about you, huh?&quot; Or &quot;You only care about doing what you need to do.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>&quot;[My daughter] doesn&#39;t understand why you are leaving and why you don&#39;t want to spend time with us.&quot; The last time things came to a head. When my girlfriend started objecting to my going to the gym I told her &quot;I&#39;ll see you and [your daughter] for a little bit before I go off to work and then tomorrow I&#39;m off and don&#39;t have a workout scheduled so we&#39;ll have the whole day together. But I have to get my workout in today. It&#39;s a priority.&quot;</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>She then responded &quot;So, the gym is a priority, but me and [my daughter] aren&#39;t? If you want to be part of this family it&#39;s not all about you anymore. So what&#39;s more important to you? The gym, or us?&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I responded &quot;Well, if you&#39;re going to force me to choose instead of making room for something that you know is important to me, then I guess I have to choose the gym.&quot; I then left.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m sitting in my own apartment now. Things may be over.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>In fairness I should note that she wasn&#39;t insisting that I never go to the gym again; she just wanted to renegotiate my schedule. But I was unwilling because I felt as if that would get in the way of my goals.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>AITA?</p> </blockquote><h2>Sure, they say &quot;honesty is the best policy,&quot; but being brutally truthful in the name of a workout schedule might not be a solid foundation for a new relationship...</h2><p>Without knowing exactly how much time this man chooses to spend with his girlfriend and her daughter on his days off, it seems like he&#39;s being pretty unwilling to sacrifice even a minute of his gym time here. That being said, it also seems a bit unfair for his girlfriend to frame his gym time as making it &quot;all about him.&quot;</p><p>Staying in shape is admirable and exercise has proven to be a massive positive boost to our mental and physical health, but when your free time is already incredibly limited, it might be time to rearrange the hours spent tracking gains and doing reps. Relationships do often require some small level of compromise and if he&#39;s already not even considering giving up some time for his new family, the red flags are only going to continue popping up.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Luckily, people were quick to weigh in on this relationship drama. Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole)...not for prioritizing the gym so much, but for basically moving in to her home when you weren&#39;t serious about her. It&#39;s hard on kids to have parental type figures come and go a lot...makes their lives less secure. Don&#39;t jerk kids around. - Diligent_Brick_5023</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). She wants to spend time with you. I can see why saying &ldquo;the gym is a priority. Seeing you isn&rsquo;t&rdquo; would be hurtful for her. You can have multiple priorities. You should be able to compromise and find time to spend time with your partner also. Her comments of &ldquo;Oh it&rsquo;s all about you&rdquo; and asking to choose between gym and them is over the top. Work on y&rsquo;all&rsquo;s communication. - ProbablyMyJugs</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Honestly I think NTA (Not the As*hole). You had a routine this entire time before them and she wants you to change it because they don&#39;t see enough of you? I assume you made it the way you do because it works best around your schedule? Also, how does a 4 year old understand that &quot;new daddy&quot; is at the gym? Sounds a bit controlling on her side but it also sounds like you may have delivered your message a bit aggressively? - promoore88</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA: She knew your routine before letting you stay consistently. She pressed the issue in a very unfair way and expected a good response. You explained that you&rsquo;d have more time the next day and could spend a bit of time with them before your shift. Don&rsquo;t quite know what the issue is here.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>My boyfriend goes to the gym frequently and plays football multiple times a week. If it isn&rsquo;t one of the set days he checks in to make sure we don&rsquo;t have plans etc. I wouldn&rsquo;t expect him to give up something that he enjoys and benefits his mental health. - Anxious-Effort1227</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA workout today, hangout tomorrow was a good compromise but she didn&#39;t want that. She wanted to force an ultimatum and she got what she wanted. Just be ready to move on mate because it sounds like the two of you are probably pretty incompatible here. - DeliciousMilkTea</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Leave. With a response like that you aren&#39;t ready to be a dad, but that is what gf wants. Nothing wrong with that. Compatibility issue. - 4682458</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>YTA So you&rsquo;re practically &ldquo;living at her house&rdquo; and can&rsquo;t even make time for her on a work day? You do realize you are only making yourself available to your relationship/family 2 1/2 hours a day if you don&rsquo;t count driving, showering etc. You actively decided to date a mother knowing if it got serious her daughter would see you as a father.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Don&rsquo;t date women with children and stay at their place every night if you only care about her feelings 2 hours a day and on the weekends. You can&rsquo;t have your cake and eat it too, a relationship is about compromise I don&rsquo;t know anyone who&rsquo;d be okay with a schedule like that besides another active person. YTA for dating someone you knew from the start you wouldn&rsquo;t be compatible with and YTA for continuing to act this way after a year and a half of course she&rsquo;s tired of barely seeing you. - dessisgay</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>While the opinions were slightly divided here, most people agreed that this man wasn&#39;t necessarily wrong to be honest about his priorities, but there are some major communication issues to work through.</p><p>Of course he can spend time with his girlfriend and her daughter and also make time for the gym, but expecting his routine to stay the same after moving into a home with a small child might not have been very realistic. Clearly his girlfriend needs a partner who will be more active in her daughter&#39;s life and that should&#39;ve been something they both discussed before taking their relationship to a more serious stage. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man asks if he's wrong to prioritize working out over spending time with GF's kid.

Being in a new relationship can sometimes mean having to restructure the schedule and routines you were used to in your single days. RIP, sleeping until 2 PM on weekends and leaving socks all over the floor.So, when a conflicted gym rat decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not he was wrong to tell his girlfriend the truth about his strict exercise regimen, people were quick to help deem a verdict.AITA (Am I the As*hole) for telling my girlfriend that yes, the gym is more important to me than her and her daughter? I (32M) have been dating my girlfriend (29F) for about 18 months. She has the cutest little 4-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.   As our relationship has progressed I&#39;ve been spending more and more time at my girlfriend&#39;s place, to the point that I&#39;ve all but moved in with them. This is mostly just because it&#39;s logistically easier for me to go to her place since she has a kid and I don&#39;t.   I work from 4:30 pm to 2:30 am. I get to bed by 4 am and then wake up around noon and then on most days head off to the gym and spend about two hours there total. I like to work out; it makes me feel good, keeps me healthy, and I also consider it a professional responsibility to stay in shape.   Working 10 hour shifts means that I don&#39;t have a ton of time in between shifts but that I also have more days off than most working people.   This was never a problem until I (basically) moved in with my girlfriend. Suddenly lately when I wake up and try to head off to the gym she&#39;s all &quot;Oh, it&#39;s all about you, huh?&quot; Or &quot;You only care about doing what you need to do.&quot;   &quot;[My daughter] doesn&#39;t understand why you are leaving and why you don&#39;t want to spend time with us.&quot; The last time things came to a head. When my girlfriend started objecting to my going to the gym I told her &quot;I&#39;ll see you and [your daughter] for a little bit before I go off to work and then tomorrow I&#39;m off and don&#39;t have a workout scheduled so we&#39;ll have the whole day together. But I have to get my workout in today. It&#39;s a priority.&quot;   She then responded &quot;So, the gym is a priority, but me and [my daughter] aren&#39;t? If you want to be part of this family it&#39;s not all about you anymore. So what&#39;s more important to you? The gym, or us?&quot;   I responded &quot;Well, if you&#39;re going to force me to choose instead of making room for something that you know is important to me, then I guess I have to choose the gym.&quot; I then left.   I&#39;m sitting in my own apartment now. Things may be over.   In fairness I should note that she wasn&#39;t insisting that I never go to the gym again; she just wanted to renegotiate my schedule. But I was unwilling because I felt as if that would get in the way of my goals.   AITA? Sure, they say &quot;honesty is the best policy,&quot; but being brutally truthful in the name of a workout schedule might not be a solid foundation for a new relationship...Without knowing exactly how much time this man chooses to spend with his girlfriend and her daughter on his days off, it seems like he&#39;s being pretty unwilling to sacrifice even a minute of his gym time here. That being said, it also seems a bit unfair for his girlfriend to frame his gym time as making it &quot;all about him.&quot;Staying in shape is admirable and exercise has proven to be a massive positive boost to our mental and physical health, but when your free time is already incredibly limited, it might be time to rearrange the hours spent tracking gains and doing reps. Relationships do often require some small level of compromise and if he&#39;s already not even considering giving up some time for his new family, the red flags are only going to continue popping up.Luckily, people were quick to weigh in on this relationship drama. Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole)...not for prioritizing the gym so much, but for basically moving in to her home when you weren&#39;t serious about her. It&#39;s hard on kids to have parental type figures come and go a lot...makes their lives less secure. Don&#39;t jerk kids around. - Diligent_Brick_5023   ESH (Everyone Sucks Here). She wants to spend time with you. I can see why saying &ldquo;the gym is a priority. Seeing you isn&rsquo;t&rdquo; would be hurtful for her. You can have multiple priorities. You should be able to compromise and find time to spend time with your partner also. Her comments of &ldquo;Oh it&rsquo;s all about you&rdquo; and asking to choose between gym and them is over the top. Work on y&rsquo;all&rsquo;s communication. - ProbablyMyJugs   Honestly I think NTA (Not the As*hole). You had a routine this entire time before them and she wants you to change it because they don&#39;t see enough of you? I assume you made it the way you do because it works best around your schedule? Also, how does a 4 year old understand that &quot;new daddy&quot; is at the gym? Sounds a bit controlling on her side but it also sounds like you may have delivered your message a bit aggressively? - promoore88   NTA: She knew your routine before letting you stay consistently. She pressed the issue in a very unfair way and expected a good response. You explained that you&rsquo;d have more time the next day and could spend a bit of time with them before your shift. Don&rsquo;t quite know what the issue is here.  My boyfriend goes to the gym frequently and plays football multiple times a week. If it isn&rsquo;t one of the set days he checks in to make sure we don&rsquo;t have plans etc. I wouldn&rsquo;t expect him to give up something that he enjoys and benefits his mental health. - Anxious-Effort1227   NTA workout today, hangout tomorrow was a good compromise but she didn&#39;t want that. She wanted to force an ultimatum and she got what she wanted. Just be ready to move on mate because it sounds like the two of you are probably pretty incompatible here. - DeliciousMilkTea   NTA. Leave. With a response like that you aren&#39;t ready to be a dad, but that is what gf wants. Nothing wrong with that. Compatibility issue. - 4682458   YTA So you&rsquo;re practically &ldquo;living at her house&rdquo; and can&rsquo;t even make time for her on a work day? You do realize you are only making yourself available to your relationship/family 2 1/2 hours a day if you don&rsquo;t count driving, showering etc. You actively decided to date a mother knowing if it got serious her daughter would see you as a father.  Don&rsquo;t date women with children and stay at their place every night if you only care about her feelings 2 hours a day and on the weekends. You can&rsquo;t have your cake and eat it too, a relationship is about compromise I don&rsquo;t know anyone who&rsquo;d be okay with a schedule like that besides another active person. YTA for dating someone you knew from the start you wouldn&rsquo;t be compatible with and YTA for continuing to act this way after a year and a half of course she&rsquo;s tired of barely seeing you. - dessisgay So, there you have it!While the opinions were slightly divided here, most people agreed that this man wasn&#39;t necessarily wrong to be honest about his priorities, but there are some major communication issues to work through.Of course he can spend time with his girlfriend and her daughter and also make time for the gym, but expecting his routine to stay the same after moving into a home with a small child might not have been very realistic. Clearly his girlfriend needs a partner who will be more active in her daughter&#39;s life and that should&#39;ve been something they both discussed before taking their relationship to a more serious stage. Good luck, everyone!

Being in a new relationship can sometimes mean having to restructure the schedule and routines you were used to in your single days. RIP, sleeping until 2 PM on weekends and leaving socks all over the floor.  So, when a conflicted gym rat...