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<h2>The whole sentiment and purpose of getting engaged and planning a wedding with someone can get lost in the material details, especially now with the tradition of raking in those likes with an Instagram proposal post...</h2><p>Planning an elaborate proposal with family, a professional photographer, a hot air balloon flash mob or a horseback ride on the beach with the dog delivering a massive diamond ring is what some couples dream of, but being on the same page about spending and expectations involved in the wedding-planning process is key. Expecting someone to spend the standard &quot;three months of their salary&quot; on a diamond when that money could also go toward a home or another shared expense is a big ask, but prioritizing what is important to both you and your partner is necessary if you want to start the marriage off on a solid foundation. Pressuring someone you love to buy a ring they&#39;re not comfortable or interested in spending that much money on just because your friends all have traditional diamonds, or you feel pressure to put a price tag on your relationship can be dangerous. Ultimately, a proposal is about celebrating your love and future together, and it shouldn&#39;t be about going into debt for a sparkly rock.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>So, when a flustered boyfriend decided to consult Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the as*hole&quot; about his girlfriend&#39;s desired engagement ring budget, people were quick to offer some words of wisdom.</p><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kil5t5/aita_for_wincing_at_my_girlfriend_of_4_years_for/">AITA</a> (Am I the as*hole) for wincing at my girlfriend of 4 years for suggesting a $14K engagement ring?</h2><blockquote> <p>My [24M] girlfriend [24F] love each other a lot, been dating for 4 years. I&#39;m a lil hesitant of the &#39;get engaged at 27, married the next year, have kids at 30, buy a house, life cause I feel so young to talk about it (I feel like a kid for darn sake at 24) but I will eventually do it tbh because #adulting or whatever.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p><strong>Here&#39;s the meat &amp; bones of this:</strong> Her sister recently got engaged (3 years older) and they are both pretty wealthy as she is a lawyer and he is a nurse. Both make 6-figures... and she recently got an engagement ring that was around $16K... We aren&#39;t in law or medicine like them, so we won&#39;t be making as much at that age at all. My girlfriend is VERY much into the marriage idea: a big wedding, an expensive engagement ring and all the works.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Now, I&#39;m much more fiscally &#39;frugal&#39; (she would call it being &#39;cheap&#39; lol) so I&#39;m hesitant about all that. Buying a house in a few years... an EXPENSIVE A*S engagement ring... having kids maybe in like 6 or 7 years... it&#39;s all <em>SO EXPENSIVE</em>. She said she also wants to get a &asymp;$14K engagement ring, and my first reaction to hearing that I was like &quot;Oh lord&quot; and I very jokingly rolled my eyes a bit (again, jokingly). She was very upset -&quot;Why did you hesitate, do you not love me? Am I not worth the $$$ for that ring, an engagement ring is the ONE THING a girl looks for, and it&#39;s FOR LIFE.&quot;</p> </blockquote><p> </p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I got a little scared about the cost, as I only make like $65K right now (maybe I&#39;ll make more in the future idk), and I plan to quit my job in a few years to pursue the arts (I want to be a stand-up comedian) but I tend to be more frugal when it comes to my finances. And a $14K ring seems like A LOT - I honestly have enough money lying around in my account to afford it right now, but it just doesn&#39;t seem like the best idea. I told her &quot;Listen babe, I will get whatever price ring u want. In fact, ignore the price, I will get you a GREAT ring. $10K or $14K or whatever, it&#39;ll be wonderful&quot; but she was still upset that I reacted negatively to it and shouldn&#39;t have hesitated or rolled my eyes or teased her about it. So now she thinks I&#39;m a d*ck for that... AITA?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA (Not the As*hole). Anyone who spends 14k on an engagement ring is either rich or stupid. Use that money for something else that would actually benefit your lives, like saving up for a house. - 69qwertyben420</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>NTA This might be a red flag. I would wince at spending that much on any piece of jewelry. Having a ring that expensive would make me sooo nervous.</p> <p>But you could do what my parents did, had a cheaper initial ring then (many years later) he got my mom her &ldquo;dream ring&rdquo; when they were more financially stable. - Nevermore-Nevermore</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Esh (Everyone Sucks Here). 14k is ridiculous for an engagement ring and your gf seems wayyy too focused on the material value of it, but dude, come on, 4 years and you&#39;re not sure about doing the whole &quot;adulting&quot; thing with her?</p> <p>Either you want the marriage, kids etc with her or you don&#39;t. After that long you should have some idea. - Verthandi-9</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NTA. This is a great opportunity for you two to get on the same page about values and financial goals. - Regular-Tell-108</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>NTA. I&#39;m baffled that someone would demand that kind of thing from someone they love. - rebel_nord</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>NTA. You need to just say it&#39;s too expensive and not waffle on it. Just because you can&#39;t buy expensive things, doesn&#39;t mean you don&#39;t love her, but it might mean that in her mind, so you need to decide if that&#39;s what you want to handle for the rest of your life.</p> <p>Does she support your comedy career dreams? You aren&#39;t exactly going to be rolling in money unless/until you make it big (I&#39;m rooting for you), does she realize this?</p> <p>I spent 15 years being married to a woman I wasn&#39;t truly compatible with, and I wouldn&#39;t wish it on you. I&#39;m happily remarried to a woman who loves everything about me, so don&#39;t let the habit of your 4 year relationship trick you into thinking that this is it and you need to settle for it if your heart isn&#39;t singing. Never choose someone who doesn&#39;t choose you back. If you have to convince a person to choose you, you&#39;ll spend your whole life chasing that and never really feel chosen. - aiolyfe</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NTA. You and your GF need to sit down and have a talk about expectations for the future so you can both be on the same page. If you both have different goals on what to do with your money, then you are in for a world of hurt in a marriage. I would sit down together and lay out what your personal goals are for your financial future, and see what hers are, and go from there.- Likely_Not_Your_Mom</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Almost everyone agreed that he was not in the wrong here for not wanting to spend that much money on a ring, but it does seem like maybe marriage isn&#39;t the best idea for this couple considering they&#39;re on different life tracks. This could be a great opportunity to discuss how they see their individual futures and future as a couple before deciding to make a (hopefully) lifelong commitment to each other. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man asks if he was wrong to wince when girlfriend asked him to buy her a $14K engagement ring.

The whole sentiment and purpose of getting engaged and planning a wedding with someone can get lost in the material details, especially now with the tradition of raking in those likes with an Instagram proposal post...Planning an elaborate proposal with family, a professional photographer, a hot air balloon flash mob or a horseback ride on the beach with the dog delivering a massive diamond ring is what some couples dream of, but being on the same page about spending and expectations involved in the wedding-planning process is key. Expecting someone to spend the standard &quot;three months of their salary&quot; on a diamond when that money could also go toward a home or another shared expense is a big ask, but prioritizing what is important to both you and your partner is necessary if you want to start the marriage off on a solid foundation. Pressuring someone you love to buy a ring they&#39;re not comfortable or interested in spending that much money on just because your friends all have traditional diamonds, or you feel pressure to put a price tag on your relationship can be dangerous. Ultimately, a proposal is about celebrating your love and future together, and it shouldn&#39;t be about going into debt for a sparkly rock.So, when a flustered boyfriend decided to consult Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the as*hole&quot; about his girlfriend&#39;s desired engagement ring budget, people were quick to offer some words of wisdom.AITA (Am I the as*hole) for wincing at my girlfriend of 4 years for suggesting a $14K engagement ring? My [24M] girlfriend [24F] love each other a lot, been dating for 4 years. I&#39;m a lil hesitant of the &#39;get engaged at 27, married the next year, have kids at 30, buy a house, life cause I feel so young to talk about it (I feel like a kid for darn sake at 24) but I will eventually do it tbh because #adulting or whatever.   Here&#39;s the meat &amp; bones of this: Her sister recently got engaged (3 years older) and they are both pretty wealthy as she is a lawyer and he is a nurse. Both make 6-figures... and she recently got an engagement ring that was around $16K... We aren&#39;t in law or medicine like them, so we won&#39;t be making as much at that age at all. My girlfriend is VERY much into the marriage idea: a big wedding, an expensive engagement ring and all the works.   Now, I&#39;m much more fiscally &#39;frugal&#39; (she would call it being &#39;cheap&#39; lol) so I&#39;m hesitant about all that. Buying a house in a few years... an EXPENSIVE A*S engagement ring... having kids maybe in like 6 or 7 years... it&#39;s all SO EXPENSIVE. She said she also wants to get a &asymp;$14K engagement ring, and my first reaction to hearing that I was like &quot;Oh lord&quot; and I very jokingly rolled my eyes a bit (again, jokingly). She was very upset -&quot;Why did you hesitate, do you not love me? Am I not worth the $$$ for that ring, an engagement ring is the ONE THING a girl looks for, and it&#39;s FOR LIFE.&quot;   I got a little scared about the cost, as I only make like $65K right now (maybe I&#39;ll make more in the future idk), and I plan to quit my job in a few years to pursue the arts (I want to be a stand-up comedian) but I tend to be more frugal when it comes to my finances. And a $14K ring seems like A LOT - I honestly have enough money lying around in my account to afford it right now, but it just doesn&#39;t seem like the best idea. I told her &quot;Listen babe, I will get whatever price ring u want. In fact, ignore the price, I will get you a GREAT ring. $10K or $14K or whatever, it&#39;ll be wonderful&quot; but she was still upset that I reacted negatively to it and shouldn&#39;t have hesitated or rolled my eyes or teased her about it. So now she thinks I&#39;m a d*ck for that... AITA? Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: NTA (Not the As*hole). Anyone who spends 14k on an engagement ring is either rich or stupid. Use that money for something else that would actually benefit your lives, like saving up for a house. - 69qwertyben420  NTA This might be a red flag. I would wince at spending that much on any piece of jewelry. Having a ring that expensive would make me sooo nervous. But you could do what my parents did, had a cheaper initial ring then (many years later) he got my mom her &ldquo;dream ring&rdquo; when they were more financially stable. - Nevermore-Nevermore  Esh (Everyone Sucks Here). 14k is ridiculous for an engagement ring and your gf seems wayyy too focused on the material value of it, but dude, come on, 4 years and you&#39;re not sure about doing the whole &quot;adulting&quot; thing with her? Either you want the marriage, kids etc with her or you don&#39;t. After that long you should have some idea. - Verthandi-9  NTA. This is a great opportunity for you two to get on the same page about values and financial goals. - Regular-Tell-108  NTA. I&#39;m baffled that someone would demand that kind of thing from someone they love. - rebel_nord  NTA. You need to just say it&#39;s too expensive and not waffle on it. Just because you can&#39;t buy expensive things, doesn&#39;t mean you don&#39;t love her, but it might mean that in her mind, so you need to decide if that&#39;s what you want to handle for the rest of your life. Does she support your comedy career dreams? You aren&#39;t exactly going to be rolling in money unless/until you make it big (I&#39;m rooting for you), does she realize this? I spent 15 years being married to a woman I wasn&#39;t truly compatible with, and I wouldn&#39;t wish it on you. I&#39;m happily remarried to a woman who loves everything about me, so don&#39;t let the habit of your 4 year relationship trick you into thinking that this is it and you need to settle for it if your heart isn&#39;t singing. Never choose someone who doesn&#39;t choose you back. If you have to convince a person to choose you, you&#39;ll spend your whole life chasing that and never really feel chosen. - aiolyfe  NTA. You and your GF need to sit down and have a talk about expectations for the future so you can both be on the same page. If you both have different goals on what to do with your money, then you are in for a world of hurt in a marriage. I would sit down together and lay out what your personal goals are for your financial future, and see what hers are, and go from there.- Likely_Not_Your_Mom So, there you have it!Almost everyone agreed that he was not in the wrong here for not wanting to spend that much money on a ring, but it does seem like maybe marriage isn&#39;t the best idea for this couple considering they&#39;re on different life tracks. This could be a great opportunity to discuss how they see their individual futures and future as a couple before deciding to make a (hopefully) lifelong commitment to each other. Good luck, everyone!

The whole sentiment and purpose of getting engaged and planning a wedding with someone can get lost in the material details, especially now with the tradition of raking in those likes with an Instagram proposal post...  Planning an...