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<p>Studies have shown that the feelings of loss <a href="https://www.thecut.com/2017/02/why-heartbreak-getting-dumped-feel-so-bad.html" target="_blank">during a breakup are similar to heroin withdrawal</a>, which explains how wildly some of us respond to the devastating end of a relationship.</p><p>One of the hardest parts of getting dumped is coming to terms with why the relationship ended. When you&#39;re not the one initiating the breakup, it&#39;s all too easy to feel blind-sided by the end of something you assumed was mutually good. Sadly, since breaking up with someone is hardly easy on either side, it&#39;s pretty common for break-ups to happen without a clear conversation about where it all went wrong.</p><p>In most cases, the mystery of why it all fell apart inspires countless obsessive conversations over happy hour that eventually exhaust all your friends. However, there are some breakups where people simply cannot process in healthy ways, and they proceed to bother their ex until all positive memories of the relationship dissipate into an embarrassing heap.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>In a recent post on the <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgxjbm/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriends_parents_to_see_if/" target="_blank">subreddit Am I The Asshole</a>, a man shared how he ended up calling his ex-girlfriend&#39;s parents in order to get answers about the breakup.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;AITA for calling my girlfriend&#39;s parents to see if they knew why she was breaking up with me?&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>OP shared that he was dating his ex-girlfriend for two years and regularly goes away with the US Marine Corp during the summer.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I don&#39;t even know where to begin with this. I am both a college student and an Officer Candidate for the US Marine Corp and I&#39;ve been away this whole summer. I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years and before I left everything was so great between us. We even talked about starting to look for rings and maybe even a house since I will likely know where my duty station will be following commissioning. I thought we were so in love with each other and I thought about her every minute of every day.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>Just last weekend, OP received an email from his ex-girlfriend breaking up with him and revealing she planned to block him on everything.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Friday I got an email that literally said this: &quot;I hate to do this to you while you are in XX, but while you&#39;ve been gone I have discovered that I have been unhappy in our relationship for a long time and I don&#39;t want to be with you anymore. I have packed up your stuff and will drop the box off with <em>roommate.</em> After I send this I am blocking you in my contact list and social media so please don&#39;t contact me. I expect you to act like a mature adult if we see each other out or on campus and know I do not want to talk with you.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>When OP tried to call her, his number was already blocked, and he soon realized he was also blocked from her friends.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;And that was literally it. No explanation, no I hate you, just &quot;I&#39;m not happy, blocked.&quot; I tried to call her but she had blocked my number, I tried to call her friends and they too have blocked my number. I called my roommate and he said he didn&#39;t know anything and the box was just sitting outside our front door.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>Since the mysterious reason for the break up was driving OP up a wall, he eventually called his ex-girlfriend&#39;s parents in hopes of an answer.</h2><p>They were kind and patient the first time, but after that pointed out how bad it looked for him to harangue them.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;I felt like I was dying this weekend. I just needed some sort of answer so I called the number I had from the time we visited her parents. Her mom picked up and said something like &quot;this is between you and her, we always really liked you so we don&#39;t know what she&#39;s thinking but we don&#39;t have any answers. I&#39;m sorry.&quot; I tried to let that sit but I called back after an hour because it was some sort of link to her. Her mom answered again but instantly handed the phone who said (best as I can remember) &quot;look son, you&#39;re making a real asshole out of yourself calling us. Our daughter isn&#39;t stupid and I suggest you do some soul searching to figure out what part you play in this&quot; and he hung up on me. I tried to call back one more time and I guess they too had blocked my number.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Eventually, OP got called an asshole by his ex-girlfriend&#39;s dad for calling, which caused him to wonder whether he was in the wrong or not.</h2><p>This naturally brought him here, to the subreddit where strangers from all over can speculate over the emotional ethics of your behavior.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;I am devastated here and grasping at any straw that might provide some sort of answer. For this sub specifically, was I an asshole like her dad said?</p> <p>Edit fuck this I&rsquo;m out. Got no time for any of this anymore. I&rsquo;m just out.</p> <p>Edit2: I&#39;m quitting PLC today to drive home and figure out what the fuck is going on.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgxjbm/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriends_parents_to_see_if/" target="_blank">DevillyDetailed</a> called OP&#39;s behavior out for what it really is: harassment.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;YTA for the second call. The first time they said sorry we can&#39;t help. What did you expect the second time? For them to cave, choose your side, and spill everything? You were harassing her family. Not a good look.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgxjbm/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriends_parents_to_see_if/" target="_blank">SWGoodToes</a> is not sure what kind of closure OP thought he&#39;d get from her parents.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;YTA - she gave you all the explanation you are entitled to</p> <p>She broke up with you <em>because she does not want to be with you</em>. Nothing else matters. No other factors are going to make you feel better or change anything. You need to accept that and stop harassing her family for details that aren&rsquo;t going to change anything.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgxjbm/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriends_parents_to_see_if/" target="_blank">AppState1981</a> has a theory about what shifted the girlfriend&#39;s perspective about the relationship.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Ask her friends, not her family. Oddly,she did this in an orderly, military manner. But calling her parents was odd.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;My experience (61 years): She discovered what like was like without you and she preferred it. I have seen this when the male was controlling/manipulative/smothering. When you were there, she thought it was normal and you were always there. That would explain why she went dark on you. She doesn&#39;t want to you to manipulate her back into the situation.<br /> I&#39;m not saying you are controlling/manipulative. I&#39;m saying that&#39;s when I have seen this behavior. It may just be that she decided she doesn&#39;t want to settle down or be a military wife. College is for fun.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theraven5050/">theraven5050</a> thinks the calls themselves point towards OP behaving in manipulative ways he doesn&#39;t even recognize.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;YTA, and it&#39;s pretty clear that you have some abusive / manipulative tendencies that you may not even be aware of.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>&quot;People don&#39;t ghost like that without a good reason. Furthermore, when you called the second time, and (her dad?) picked up, it was clear that mom was just being nice the first time around, but her dad acutely thinks you&#39;re a piece of shit, but didn&#39;t want to betray his daughter by revealing her (sound) reasoning.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/warriorwoman96/">warriorwoman96</a> noticed OP&#39;s toxic behavior via his other Reddit comments (mostly in the same thread).</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;YTA. First off harassing her parents is ridiculous. They told you they didn&#39;t know but you kept calling anyways.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Second you Ive seen your other posts on this thread and your toxic attitude is starting to become very clear. If the level of entitlement and lack of awareness is this clear in this post then I cant imagine what bullshit she dealt with from you in your actual relationship.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>One <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgxjbm/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriends_parents_to_see_if/eum819k/?context=3">of OP&#39;s comments</a>, which received over 700 downvotes, empathized with Redpillers and MWGTOW (Men Who Go Their Own Way aka Incels.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;This can&#39;t be true man, if I was a girl on here talking about a guy who dumped me with no explanation people would want his balls cut off. This is why guys go to places like redpill or MGTOW.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>He also went on to <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cgxjbm/aita_for_calling_my_girlfriends_parents_to_see_if/eum819k/?context=3" target="_blank">compare Incels to Black Lives Matter</a>, which further cemented a lot of commenters&#39; understanding of why the relationship ended.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I&rsquo;m saying those are shit places but when people get fucked over they look for affirmation and those places recruit young men by giving them affirmation. It&rsquo;s just like BLM or the Democrats&quot;</p> </blockquote><p>Needless to say, getting dumped without an explanation truly sucks all around. It&#39;s a painful experience and can leave you scratching your head for weeks, months, even years. However, harassing the family and friends of your ex is unlikely to land you answers, and if anything, will make you look unstable as a partner.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man called 'unstable' for calling ex-girlfriend's parents to get 'answers' about their breakup.

Studies have shown that the feelings of loss during a breakup are similar to heroin withdrawal, which explains how wildly some of us respond to the devastating end of a relationship.One of the hardest parts of getting dumped is coming to terms with why the relationship ended. When you&#39;re not the one initiating the breakup, it&#39;s all too easy to feel blind-sided by the end of something you assumed was mutually good. Sadly, since breaking up with someone is hardly easy on either side, it&#39;s pretty common for break-ups to happen without a clear conversation about where it all went wrong.In most cases, the mystery of why it all fell apart inspires countless obsessive conversations over happy hour that eventually exhaust all your friends. However, there are some breakups where people simply cannot process in healthy ways, and they proceed to bother their ex until all positive memories of the relationship dissipate into an embarrassing heap.In a recent post on the subreddit Am I The Asshole, a man shared how he ended up calling his ex-girlfriend&#39;s parents in order to get answers about the breakup. &quot;AITA for calling my girlfriend&#39;s parents to see if they knew why she was breaking up with me?&quot; OP shared that he was dating his ex-girlfriend for two years and regularly goes away with the US Marine Corp during the summer. &quot;I don&#39;t even know where to begin with this. I am both a college student and an Officer Candidate for the US Marine Corp and I&#39;ve been away this whole summer. I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years and before I left everything was so great between us. We even talked about starting to look for rings and maybe even a house since I will likely know where my duty station will be following commissioning. I thought we were so in love with each other and I thought about her every minute of every day.&quot; Just last weekend, OP received an email from his ex-girlfriend breaking up with him and revealing she planned to block him on everything. &quot;Friday I got an email that literally said this: &quot;I hate to do this to you while you are in XX, but while you&#39;ve been gone I have discovered that I have been unhappy in our relationship for a long time and I don&#39;t want to be with you anymore. I have packed up your stuff and will drop the box off with roommate. After I send this I am blocking you in my contact list and social media so please don&#39;t contact me. I expect you to act like a mature adult if we see each other out or on campus and know I do not want to talk with you.&quot; When OP tried to call her, his number was already blocked, and he soon realized he was also blocked from her friends. &quot;And that was literally it. No explanation, no I hate you, just &quot;I&#39;m not happy, blocked.&quot; I tried to call her but she had blocked my number, I tried to call her friends and they too have blocked my number. I called my roommate and he said he didn&#39;t know anything and the box was just sitting outside our front door.&quot; Since the mysterious reason for the break up was driving OP up a wall, he eventually called his ex-girlfriend&#39;s parents in hopes of an answer.They were kind and patient the first time, but after that pointed out how bad it looked for him to harangue them. &quot;I felt like I was dying this weekend. I just needed some sort of answer so I called the number I had from the time we visited her parents. Her mom picked up and said something like &quot;this is between you and her, we always really liked you so we don&#39;t know what she&#39;s thinking but we don&#39;t have any answers. I&#39;m sorry.&quot; I tried to let that sit but I called back after an hour because it was some sort of link to her. Her mom answered again but instantly handed the phone who said (best as I can remember) &quot;look son, you&#39;re making a real asshole out of yourself calling us. Our daughter isn&#39;t stupid and I suggest you do some soul searching to figure out what part you play in this&quot; and he hung up on me. I tried to call back one more time and I guess they too had blocked my number.&quot; Eventually, OP got called an asshole by his ex-girlfriend&#39;s dad for calling, which caused him to wonder whether he was in the wrong or not.This naturally brought him here, to the subreddit where strangers from all over can speculate over the emotional ethics of your behavior. &quot;I am devastated here and grasping at any straw that might provide some sort of answer. For this sub specifically, was I an asshole like her dad said? Edit fuck this I&rsquo;m out. Got no time for any of this anymore. I&rsquo;m just out. Edit2: I&#39;m quitting PLC today to drive home and figure out what the fuck is going on.&quot; DevillyDetailed called OP&#39;s behavior out for what it really is: harassment. &quot;YTA for the second call. The first time they said sorry we can&#39;t help. What did you expect the second time? For them to cave, choose your side, and spill everything? You were harassing her family. Not a good look.&quot; SWGoodToes is not sure what kind of closure OP thought he&#39;d get from her parents. &quot;YTA - she gave you all the explanation you are entitled to She broke up with you because she does not want to be with you. Nothing else matters. No other factors are going to make you feel better or change anything. You need to accept that and stop harassing her family for details that aren&rsquo;t going to change anything.&quot; AppState1981 has a theory about what shifted the girlfriend&#39;s perspective about the relationship. &quot;Ask her friends, not her family. Oddly,she did this in an orderly, military manner. But calling her parents was odd.&quot;  &quot;My experience (61 years): She discovered what like was like without you and she preferred it. I have seen this when the male was controlling/manipulative/smothering. When you were there, she thought it was normal and you were always there. That would explain why she went dark on you. She doesn&#39;t want to you to manipulate her back into the situation. I&#39;m not saying you are controlling/manipulative. I&#39;m saying that&#39;s when I have seen this behavior. It may just be that she decided she doesn&#39;t want to settle down or be a military wife. College is for fun.&quot; theraven5050 thinks the calls themselves point towards OP behaving in manipulative ways he doesn&#39;t even recognize. &quot;YTA, and it&#39;s pretty clear that you have some abusive / manipulative tendencies that you may not even be aware of.&quot;  &quot;People don&#39;t ghost like that without a good reason. Furthermore, when you called the second time, and (her dad?) picked up, it was clear that mom was just being nice the first time around, but her dad acutely thinks you&#39;re a piece of shit, but didn&#39;t want to betray his daughter by revealing her (sound) reasoning.&quot; warriorwoman96 noticed OP&#39;s toxic behavior via his other Reddit comments (mostly in the same thread). &quot;YTA. First off harassing her parents is ridiculous. They told you they didn&#39;t know but you kept calling anyways.&quot;  &quot;Second you Ive seen your other posts on this thread and your toxic attitude is starting to become very clear. If the level of entitlement and lack of awareness is this clear in this post then I cant imagine what bullshit she dealt with from you in your actual relationship.&quot; One of OP&#39;s comments, which received over 700 downvotes, empathized with Redpillers and MWGTOW (Men Who Go Their Own Way aka Incels. &quot;This can&#39;t be true man, if I was a girl on here talking about a guy who dumped me with no explanation people would want his balls cut off. This is why guys go to places like redpill or MGTOW.&quot; He also went on to compare Incels to Black Lives Matter, which further cemented a lot of commenters&#39; understanding of why the relationship ended. &quot;I&rsquo;m saying those are shit places but when people get fucked over they look for affirmation and those places recruit young men by giving them affirmation. It&rsquo;s just like BLM or the Democrats&quot; Needless to say, getting dumped without an explanation truly sucks all around. It&#39;s a painful experience and can leave you scratching your head for weeks, months, even years. However, harassing the family and friends of your ex is unlikely to land you answers, and if anything, will make you look unstable as a partner.

Studies have shown that the feelings of loss during a breakup are similar to heroin withdrawal, which explains how wildly some of us respond.