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<p>Helping out your family in times of need can take a toll, but it&#39;s part of being a loving family member. However, just because someone is blood doesn&#39;t mean you&#39;re obligated to shirk off all boundaries in order to do them a favor. We all have our lines, and putting yourself in a position that will cause you to resent a loved one certainly isn&#39;t better than saying no.</p><p>That being said, sometimes you just have to grin and bear discomfort in order to help a loved one in need, so figuring out when to tap out or stay in the game is a toughie.</p><h2>In a recent post on the <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cf4zio/aita_for_refusing_to_clean_my_pregnant_sisters/" target="_blank">subreddit Am I The Asshole</a> a man asked the internet if he was wrong for refusing to help his pregnant sister get her house in order.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;AITA for refusing to clean my pregnant sister&#39;s disgusting house? A few details first: I am a big man. My sister is a tiny pregnant woman. Her husband is a seafarer and currently at sea. They have a boatload of money.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP started the post by sharing that his sister is five months pregnant and his brother-in-law is a seafarer currently off on the job.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;The story: My sister has been pregnant for about 5 months. I rarely go to her house (maybe once every three years), and we usually see each other when she comes to see me (2-3 times a year). Her pregnancy is going great, it&#39;s not one of those difficult ones where the woman is bedridden or anything, she&#39;s up and about, she even does a bit of yoga, goes shopping and so on.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>So far, OP&#39;s sister&#39;s pregnancy has gone relatively smoothly, but due to her height and exhaustion she recently shared it&#39;s been hard for her to keep up with the house.</h2><p> </p><blockquote> <p>&quot;A few weeks ago she started complaining about how hard it is for her to do stuff around the house. Her husband has been away for work for about 2 months and won&#39;t be back until 2 weeks before the baby is due. She complained to our parents and then they suggested she ask me for help. She called me up and of course I said yes. I figured she needs some little repairs around the house, maybe clean some hard to reach places and stuff, and I said sure.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Naturally, being a good brother and also a good deal taller than her, OP offered to stop by and help out.</h2><p>However, since their regular visits are at his place and he hasn&#39;t been to her house in years, he had no idea what he was getting himself into.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;I came to her place and as soon as I saw what her place looked like, I was shocked, appalled and disgusted. Her husband&#39;s been gone for 2 months, she&#39;s been pregnant for 5 months, but that house has not been cleaned in years. There was trash everywhere, dirty dishes, dust bunnies all over the place, spider webs and dust hanging off the ceilings and walls, and her couch smells like vomit. I couldn&#39;t believe my fucking eyes or nose what state her house is in.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>When he arrived, OP was immediately appalled by the hoarder levels of filth.</h2><p>He said it looks like it hasn&#39;t been cleaned in years, and it would take a whole team to get it done. When OP refused to single-handedly clean the mess, his sister freaked out on him.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>&quot;I immediately said that I&#39;m sorry but she should hire a cleaning agency or something, because I am not dealing with that. She started crying, saying that she can&#39;t do anything, she&#39;s pregnant, bla bla, and I said that her house looks like it hasn&#39;t been cleaned since 2015, not May. She said it&#39;s not true, she keeps her house clean, am I calling her a filthy pig or something, am I insulting her and her husband, yadda yadda, so I just let her scream and left.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>While OP felt fine putting his foot down, his brother-in-law, family and friends all claim he&#39;s being a jerk for not helping his pregnant sister.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;My parents have called to tell me I am the biggest disappointment ever, my father said I was an asshole, my mother said she feels sorry for any woman I might be with and that I don&#39;t deserve to have a wife (I&#39;m gay, so joke&#39;s on them). Then my brother in law called to tell me to go fuck myself and to not expect I&#39;ll ever get to see their child. I told him he should calm down and hire a cleaning agency so that his pregnant wife doesn&#39;t have to sleep in cockroach shit, he called me a cunt and hung up.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP doubled down on the fact that his sister has plenty of money to hire professionals, and it makes no sense for him to attempt the work on his own.</h2><p>Still, some of the family thinks he should fulfill her request anyways.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;The thing is, I felt fine about this until I started talking to friends. Every single one of them thinks I should help my sister out. One of them asked if I&#39;d do it for money and I said still no. It&#39;s disgusting, I don&#39;t care that she&#39;s my sister or that she&#39;s pregnant. I described her place to them in detail, and I told them how much money she has, and they still think I should do it.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CashieBashie/">CashieBashie</a> thinks it&#39;s hypocritical for the family to judge OP when they&#39;re not volunteering to do the work themselves.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA volunteer your friends to go clean for her. Everyone wants to act like they&rsquo;d be a saint until it actually comes down to it.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/9for9/">9for9</a> thinks it&#39;s a depression-fueled mess, and suggested OP set up professional cleaners for his sisters.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Honestly sounds like depression to me or something else. So the house has been neglected for years and now she&#39;s pregnant and it&#39;s hit her she can&#39;t bring the baby home to a mess like this. She probably can&#39;t get herself together to get it taken care of so she needs someone else to do it. Even if that means bro&#39; takes her credit card and schedules the cleaning for her.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/KABell_1950/">KABell_1950</a> thinks the rest of the family should check on the house before casting aspersions on OP&#39;s decision.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA. Have your parents been over there to see it? Is her husband aware of how bad it is? Did you take any pictures? (Not necessary if everyone is already aware.) Ask them why they&#39;re so against her hiring a cleaning service that you can easily afford. Ask them directly to come over and help you out.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;It&#39;s better if she hires someone. It&#39;s a lot easier to have a third party do the cleaning, they have no emotional investment. And if you&#39;re there, she&#39;s going to just rag on you anyway while you&#39;re trying to clean and probably complain after you leave even if it&#39;s sparkling. And it will probably go right back to where it was as soon as you&#39;re done -- this type of mess doesn&#39;t happen overnight as you&#39;ve said. I would be demoralized to watch that happen after I spent a couple of weeks there.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>&quot;Tell your friends they should go over and take a look, it&#39;s more than a week&#39;s worth of cleaning for one person. Would they like to help you out? Also, would your sis and her husband come over and clean up your mess for you? Would your parents? I think everyone just wants to push the problem off on you because it&#39;s easier for them. Please don&#39;t give in.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MoonlightsHand/">MoonlightsHand</a> thinks OP is leaving out important information, given how unanimously all of the family reacted to his decision.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;OP is 100% leaving out something huge. No fucking way does every single person in OP&#39;s life react this strongly, this negatively, and this <em>unanimously</em> if the story OP is telling is representative of the truth. This has to be some seriously edited and/or abridged version of the truth, for certain, assuming it&#39;s not just bullshit.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AgitatedDefinition/">AgitatedDefinition</a> pointed out just how dangerous this environment could be for a newborn baby with a fragile immune system.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA And you should put CPS/DHS on alert. This is not a suitable home for a baby. If it hasn&#39;t been cleaned in years, it&#39;s not going to be clean in four months. You could also wait, give your sister the chance to fix it. Check back in before she goes into labor and see if by some miracle the house is baby ready. And if it&#39;s not, see my first sentence.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Hopefully, OP&#39;s sister acquiesces to the suggestion to hire professional cleaners, because this sounds like a toxic environment for her, the baby, the brother-in-law, and any potential guests.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man asks if he's wrong for not cleaning his pregnant hoarder sister's house. She can afford cleaners.

Helping out your family in times of need can take a toll, but it&#39;s part of being a loving family member. However, just because someone is blood doesn&#39;t mean you&#39;re obligated to shirk off all boundaries in order to do them a favor. We all have our lines, and putting yourself in a position that will cause you to resent a loved one certainly isn&#39;t better than saying no.That being said, sometimes you just have to grin and bear discomfort in order to help a loved one in need, so figuring out when to tap out or stay in the game is a toughie.In a recent post on the subreddit Am I The Asshole a man asked the internet if he was wrong for refusing to help his pregnant sister get her house in order. &quot;AITA for refusing to clean my pregnant sister&#39;s disgusting house? A few details first: I am a big man. My sister is a tiny pregnant woman. Her husband is a seafarer and currently at sea. They have a boatload of money.&quot; OP started the post by sharing that his sister is five months pregnant and his brother-in-law is a seafarer currently off on the job. &quot;The story: My sister has been pregnant for about 5 months. I rarely go to her house (maybe once every three years), and we usually see each other when she comes to see me (2-3 times a year). Her pregnancy is going great, it&#39;s not one of those difficult ones where the woman is bedridden or anything, she&#39;s up and about, she even does a bit of yoga, goes shopping and so on.&quot; So far, OP&#39;s sister&#39;s pregnancy has gone relatively smoothly, but due to her height and exhaustion she recently shared it&#39;s been hard for her to keep up with the house.  &quot;A few weeks ago she started complaining about how hard it is for her to do stuff around the house. Her husband has been away for work for about 2 months and won&#39;t be back until 2 weeks before the baby is due. She complained to our parents and then they suggested she ask me for help. She called me up and of course I said yes. I figured she needs some little repairs around the house, maybe clean some hard to reach places and stuff, and I said sure.&quot; Naturally, being a good brother and also a good deal taller than her, OP offered to stop by and help out.However, since their regular visits are at his place and he hasn&#39;t been to her house in years, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. &quot;I came to her place and as soon as I saw what her place looked like, I was shocked, appalled and disgusted. Her husband&#39;s been gone for 2 months, she&#39;s been pregnant for 5 months, but that house has not been cleaned in years. There was trash everywhere, dirty dishes, dust bunnies all over the place, spider webs and dust hanging off the ceilings and walls, and her couch smells like vomit. I couldn&#39;t believe my fucking eyes or nose what state her house is in.&quot; When he arrived, OP was immediately appalled by the hoarder levels of filth.He said it looks like it hasn&#39;t been cleaned in years, and it would take a whole team to get it done. When OP refused to single-handedly clean the mess, his sister freaked out on him. &quot;I immediately said that I&#39;m sorry but she should hire a cleaning agency or something, because I am not dealing with that. She started crying, saying that she can&#39;t do anything, she&#39;s pregnant, bla bla, and I said that her house looks like it hasn&#39;t been cleaned since 2015, not May. She said it&#39;s not true, she keeps her house clean, am I calling her a filthy pig or something, am I insulting her and her husband, yadda yadda, so I just let her scream and left.&quot; While OP felt fine putting his foot down, his brother-in-law, family and friends all claim he&#39;s being a jerk for not helping his pregnant sister. &quot;My parents have called to tell me I am the biggest disappointment ever, my father said I was an asshole, my mother said she feels sorry for any woman I might be with and that I don&#39;t deserve to have a wife (I&#39;m gay, so joke&#39;s on them). Then my brother in law called to tell me to go fuck myself and to not expect I&#39;ll ever get to see their child. I told him he should calm down and hire a cleaning agency so that his pregnant wife doesn&#39;t have to sleep in cockroach shit, he called me a cunt and hung up.&quot; OP doubled down on the fact that his sister has plenty of money to hire professionals, and it makes no sense for him to attempt the work on his own.Still, some of the family thinks he should fulfill her request anyways. &quot;The thing is, I felt fine about this until I started talking to friends. Every single one of them thinks I should help my sister out. One of them asked if I&#39;d do it for money and I said still no. It&#39;s disgusting, I don&#39;t care that she&#39;s my sister or that she&#39;s pregnant. I described her place to them in detail, and I told them how much money she has, and they still think I should do it.&quot; CashieBashie thinks it&#39;s hypocritical for the family to judge OP when they&#39;re not volunteering to do the work themselves. &quot;NTA volunteer your friends to go clean for her. Everyone wants to act like they&rsquo;d be a saint until it actually comes down to it.&quot; 9for9 thinks it&#39;s a depression-fueled mess, and suggested OP set up professional cleaners for his sisters. &quot;Honestly sounds like depression to me or something else. So the house has been neglected for years and now she&#39;s pregnant and it&#39;s hit her she can&#39;t bring the baby home to a mess like this. She probably can&#39;t get herself together to get it taken care of so she needs someone else to do it. Even if that means bro&#39; takes her credit card and schedules the cleaning for her.&quot; KABell_1950 thinks the rest of the family should check on the house before casting aspersions on OP&#39;s decision. &quot;NTA. Have your parents been over there to see it? Is her husband aware of how bad it is? Did you take any pictures? (Not necessary if everyone is already aware.) Ask them why they&#39;re so against her hiring a cleaning service that you can easily afford. Ask them directly to come over and help you out.&quot;  &quot;It&#39;s better if she hires someone. It&#39;s a lot easier to have a third party do the cleaning, they have no emotional investment. And if you&#39;re there, she&#39;s going to just rag on you anyway while you&#39;re trying to clean and probably complain after you leave even if it&#39;s sparkling. And it will probably go right back to where it was as soon as you&#39;re done -- this type of mess doesn&#39;t happen overnight as you&#39;ve said. I would be demoralized to watch that happen after I spent a couple of weeks there.&quot;  &quot;Tell your friends they should go over and take a look, it&#39;s more than a week&#39;s worth of cleaning for one person. Would they like to help you out? Also, would your sis and her husband come over and clean up your mess for you? Would your parents? I think everyone just wants to push the problem off on you because it&#39;s easier for them. Please don&#39;t give in.&quot; MoonlightsHand thinks OP is leaving out important information, given how unanimously all of the family reacted to his decision. &quot;OP is 100% leaving out something huge. No fucking way does every single person in OP&#39;s life react this strongly, this negatively, and this unanimously if the story OP is telling is representative of the truth. This has to be some seriously edited and/or abridged version of the truth, for certain, assuming it&#39;s not just bullshit.&quot; AgitatedDefinition pointed out just how dangerous this environment could be for a newborn baby with a fragile immune system. &quot;NTA And you should put CPS/DHS on alert. This is not a suitable home for a baby. If it hasn&#39;t been cleaned in years, it&#39;s not going to be clean in four months. You could also wait, give your sister the chance to fix it. Check back in before she goes into labor and see if by some miracle the house is baby ready. And if it&#39;s not, see my first sentence.&quot; Hopefully, OP&#39;s sister acquiesces to the suggestion to hire professional cleaners, because this sounds like a toxic environment for her, the baby, the brother-in-law, and any potential guests.

Just because someone is blood doesn't mean you're obligated to shirk off all boundaries in order to do them a favor