Man refuses to drive disabled wife hours to son's wedding since he wasn't invited.

Life is short, but family grudges are long. Nothing triggers a long memory quite like a wedding, where the guest list can double as a dagger for those not invited. The dagger cuts extra deep when it's your own kid not inviting you, triply so if your partner/the other parent is invited.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad asked if he's wrong for not driving his disabled wife to their son's wedding because he wasn't invited.

He wrote:

AITA for not driving my wife to our son's wedding since I'm not invited?

My son had his wedding days ago. We had some past issues that affected our relationship. Now we're not on speaking terms after he decided to sell his grandmother's home (my wife's mother) instead of keeping it.

He sent his mom an invitation but didn't include me. I was fine with that, didn't try to fight back or anything. However, I refused to drive my wife to the wedding. She's disabled and cannot drive and we live 3 hrs away.

I said that since I'm not invited to the wedding, nor am I taking part in it then I shouldn't have to drive there. My wife told me I was being unreasonable and that I was punishing her for our son's decision but I told her it was on her to make travel arrangements since she's an adult.

Or, he could've provided proper means of transportation for her and not assume I'd go there when I'm not welcome. We had an argument and she ended up being taken there by my brother.

She refused to speak to me upon her return and my brother said I was in the wrong for letting her fend for herself when me and my car were available.

The internet jury quickly adjourned.

Jazzlike_Tap8303 wrote:

I have sooo many questions.

1. if it was your wife's mother and not yours, why were you so upset about your son (who inherited it I suppose?) selling it?

2. What did you do? There is something you are not telling us, what did you do to upset your son so much? Or is he so petty that he didn't invite you just because you said 'you know, I think you shouldn't sell the house?'

CrystalQueen3000 wrote:

YTA. She’s right, you were punishing her because of your son's decision. If she hadn’t been able to find an alternative ride then she would’ve been trapped at home and unable to go.

You would’ve forced her to miss something really important because your feelings are hurt and your ego is bruised. Forget the drama with your son, this puts you in the bad husband category.

ThrowRAsorrymama wrote:

INFO: When did you tell her you weren’t taking her to the wedding? If you usually are her sole mode of transport and she had no reason to expect you wouldn’t take her to the wedding, YWBTA.

Wradalin wrote:

NTA, I won’t speak for the mess that is your family life but you never have to drive six hours to an event you specifically were told not to come to.

TokenTeach wrote:

Oddly enough…I’m stuck between E S H -and- N A H. Whatever issue you have with your son should never come between you and your wife, and I assume that until this wedding, it hasn’t really come to a head like this?

That said, I personally wouldn’t drive 6 hours for something I wasn’t invited to, and all the Y T As are kind of ridiculous if they truly say they would. Your wife got to the wedding (INFO: Was your brother invited? Or did he drive because you wouldn’t?)

Your son should have (or could have) made arrangements to get his mother there, and he didn’t. I’m still kind of on the fence, I guess.

PD_31 wrote:

NTA. Two 6-hour round trips (or finding something to amuse yourself for the duration of the event) for something you're not invited to is ridiculous. Your son is, I'm sure, aware of your wife's disabilities; he should have made arrangements for her to get there and back.

This is one of those AITA posts that has the internet clearly divided, partially because the assessments vary, and partially because it feels like OP is withholding some crucial details.